Fortunately I do believe in miracles.
But right now ...in this moment, I feel scared and overwhelmed.
I always feel guilty when I say I'm scared because I know that fear is the opposite of faith.
But ...I'm only human.
I wish I could be more specific but then I'd be violating someone else's privacy.
Monday is gonna be one l-o-o-o-o-o-o-n-g day and into the night.
And I am really hoping that all will go well and I won't have to be driving home alone afterward. And I really hope it won't be as late as I am understanding it could be. And on top of that we're supposed to have a wintry mix. I do hope that changes as I only have a car with front wheel drive. I really will not be a happy SeaSpray coming home from down below after midnight in that kind of weather if things run that late.
Most of all I just pray everything will be alright.
And today I learned that we have a major household emergency and expense and I have absolutely NO TIME to deal with it ...but I am going to have to. It is a big deal and I am upset about it. But even that pales in comparison to the major issue.
And Christmas is in less than a week.
I haven't even baked one morsel. Nary a one. And the dinner is going to be here and I hope the first serious matter will have a good outcome. That would be the BEST Christmas gift. The second best gift would be to have a way to pay for the household emergency.
Again ...I know ...I need to believe for the best and trust God.
The first thing could've been way worse and so I am grateful for the warning.
I'm exhausted and can hardly put a thought together. It's 3:09 am and I only slept for 3 ...interrupted hours last night. I am going to go out like a light momentarily. :)
And everything will seem better n the morning.
Saturday, December 20, 2014
Friday, December 12, 2014
The Whine: For the love of God ...and I'm praying to him too, is there ANYTHING else on this planet besides hot water, lemon and honey that will stop that darned dry tickle/cough that sets me into a coughing fit????? And don't tell WhiteCoat, but I am going in to see the doctor tomorrow to beg for antibiotics. Heck, I've been FANTASIZING about a Z-PAK for two days now. And I know if it's a virus that antibiotics won't work. I also know that we shouldn't take antibiotics if not necessary because we want them to work when we really need them. But desperate times call for desperate measures. After all ...it's the Christmas season now and there is just so much going on and to get done.
I can't BELIEVE I got another URI ...AGAIN! Only this one is wiping me out.
The Concern: I also wonder if it has anything to do with my getting cortisone injections in both knees. I tried to resist, stating that I heard that cortisone can stay in the adrenal glands for a year and it can also compromise the immune system, causing people to be at more risk for infections. He emphatically stated, "That's NOT true!" So then I told him that that my regular orthopedic doctor gave me cortisin injections in the summer of 2009 and they didn't work well at all. That is why I moved on to the Synvisk and Orthovisk injections. As he walked over to get what he needed, he then countered with, "That was 2009." I could see that he was going to give me those injections and so I reluctantly acquiesced ...even I secretly hoped he was right about the cortisone.
The Near Miraculous Surprise: I am so SURPRISED at the favorable response I have had to getting the cortisone injections. So much so that I have often looked upward and asked God if he was giving me some kind of miracle. Yes ...I know the doctor gave me cortisone but I am telling you that I have not felt this good since before the summer of 2009. And even if God didn't give me a direct healing of some kind, he still facilitates healing through physicians and medicine.
But to be clear ...I still have pain ...and my walk is not that bouncy ...girl on a mission stride I had because I do have bone on bone osteoarthritis and I am still a candidate for bilateral knee replacements. Well ...unless God gives me a total healing and I'm not going to limit God. :)
I just wrote a lot telling you just how bad it has been for me pain wise so that I can contrast the incredible improvement I am currently experiencing, but it is too late for me to proofread all of that now and so I will share about that in a different post.
I feel so much better than I ever did with any pain meds or the Synvisk and Orthovisk injections. I was shocked one night when I realized that I hadn't even thought about taking any Tramadol that day. And I had a very active day. I exclaimed to Mr SeaSpray, "It's 3 in the morning and I never thought even once to take any Tramadol! I can't believe it!" It's been a few weeks now and I have only taken it 3 times. That just does not happen ...not for years.
And it is not that I don't have any pain, but compared to what I have been enduring these last few years ...it's just so much better by comparison. I get out of bed easily in the morning. I can bring my knees way up to my stomach in bed like a normal person. I couldn't even move my legs in bed without great pain because they were so stiff. I do want to share all of it and then you'll understand why I feel like I had some kind of healing miracle. And I don't mean to use the word miracle so loosely but it just feels that way too me.
And I do not understand why these cortisone injections worked when they didn't even before my knees got as bad as they did? Why do the recent cortisone injections work better than the expensive Synvisk and Orthovisk? I can't believe that sometimes I catch myself walking around and I realize I forgot about knee pain for a few hours. I smile throughout the day when I realize I forgot about the pain ...and I haven't taken any pain medicine.
What did this doctor do differently?
I could be wrong, but I remember thinking he had the bandaids on my knees at a different angle than my regular orthopedic doctor. Did this doctor go in at a different trajectory? I have to know. I'm not supposed to see him again until spring, but I just have to ask him and so I want to go in before that. I hope the injections last. I hope I did get some kind of a miracle. Time will tell.
This has been a most exciting and welcome surprise for me.
To be continued...
Monday, December 1, 2014
* If you don't have time to read the entire post, the last incident is the funniest one. :)
I hope everyone reading this enjoyed their Thanksgiving. We had a nice day with family at my m-i-l's house. But not before I had a few kitchen mishaps at home. And one BIG shocking mishap at her house. *sigh* I'm a magnet I tell you ...a mishap magnet and it usually occurs in the kitchen. Although not always.
First, I am happy to say that I finally got myself outside last night to finish the outdoor Christmas decorating. As I stated in my previous post, it took me all day to do it because of this what-ever-it-is upper respiratory infection. I went outside all bundled up and then thanks to a hot flash ...I couldn't undress fast enough ...which probably wasn't the best way to go. I just wanted to finish the tasks at hand.
I slept until 5pm today. Every time I got up I just needed to fall back into bed. I do wonder if getting the flu shot while coming down with this is the culprit of the exhaustion? And my arm is so hot, swollen, red and itchy. Anyway, I gave in to my Dorothy going down in the poppy fields need to sleep. But that seems to have helped turn this around as I am feeling much better than yesterday and today. Except for my arm. The heat from the injection sight is like having my own little PJ warmer. Much appreciated since I am trying to keep the thermostat lower. There's always an upside. :)
So ...before even starting the pumpkin cookies on Thanksgiving morning, I opened a closet door and a full bottle of Vitamin D gel caps fell out and exploded all-over-the-floor. So much for saving five dollars. I didn't know what would happen to a dog that might find and eat even one capsule and so instead of sweeping I decided that vacuuming would be the safest thing to do. I was admittedly annoyed that I had to stop to drag that out and then vacuum. Oh the horror - I know. :) Anyway ...after cleaning the vitamins up, I then manged to create quite the mess in the kitchen with pumpkin-cookie-batter-everywhere. I had just polished the kitchen clean the night before. Oh sure ...of course I'd have some dirty dishes to clean afterward. But I ended up having to do a complete wipe down again because I erroneously decided to use a new stainless steel mixing bowl vs the huge Tupperware bowl that I always use. Said mixing bowl was a bit smaller and definitely lighter. First it was inevitable that the mixer would shoot some batter out and onto the microwave and coffee maker. Okay ...no big deal. However when I was getting the ingredients for the icing out of the refrigerator, it seems the mixer that I had resting on the rim of the bowl... became possessed and decided to do a
Anyway, the cookies were now safely packed in the traditional Thanksgiving tin that I bring over to Mom's every year. I pulled the sink faucet upward so I could get a drink of water and the handle came flying off! I braced to have a gush of water shoot out everywhere, while in my lighting fast thinking brain I simultaneously wondered about calling a plumber on Thanksgiving and how much would it cost. My concerns were alleviated when no water sprayed out. *Sigh of RELIEF!* I got the faucet hooked back on and off we went.
The really funny thing happened at Mom's house. Mr SeaSpray was annoyed ...I guess because I scared him. LOL! I scared everyone else too. Ha ha! But believe me ...no one was more shocked than I was. :)
So what happened you ask?
Well ... Mr SeaSpray and I were cleaning up in the kitchen for his mom. He was washing and I was drying. I decided a dish needed a little extra rinsing and so I rinsed it with the sprayer and then put it back in it's place on the sink. But when Mr SeaSpray turned the water on again that sprayer shot water directly at me ...full force, at which point I screamed loudly ...THREE times. Not only did it shock me but the water was HOT. After it stopped, I looked down at my drenched self from my face and hair, down my neck and across my chest and stomach. I was soaked I tell you and water was dripping down off of me and onto the floor. Her town water pressure is impressive and something I can only dream of with our pithy by comparison, well water pressure. It sure does taste good though. :)
So once the shock of it was over and I looked down at myself I cracked up laughing. Then I turned to show everyone else. They still looked shocked and then eventually came around to laughing about it. One aunt said she was just about to grab a pumpkin cookie when I screamed and she thought I didn't want her too. My m-i-l thought I got burned by the hot water. Mr SeaSpray didn't see the humor. I guess because he was the closest to me and I no doubt scared him with my loud screams. The little ones ran in to see what happened too. I don't know what everyone else in the other rooms thought but when I walked into the living room to show them they laughed too. After blotting myself and the floor, I resumed drying the dishes. It wasn't until later that I realized I was showing off what while wet ...must've been a very transparent blouse. No one said anything. I guess that was for the better or I may've reacted differently. :)
Since Thanksgiving is about being grateful, I'll say that I am grateful for my sense of humor ...that I have the ability to see humor even in the challenging situations and that I can laugh at myself as well. Ha ha! And that is a good thing since I do give myself plenty of opportunity to do so. :) And it could always be worse. At least we have electricity and water to clean with and food to spill on the floor. Many do not.
I am grateful for so many things in my life. The obvious is family, friends and a roof over our heads, good health, jobs and being safe. But their is so much more to add to the list. Even the seemingly smaller things. With all my heart ...I am grateful.
And because I believe the verse that states that every good and perfect gift comes from heaven above, I will add ...
Thank you God ... for all of our blessings and how you bring us through the tough times too. Thank you. :)
Am I a bad SeaSpray for still chuckling at how funny the water incident was, even though some people got scared? I cant help it - it is funny. Of course I am glad everyone else was okay and I sure didn't mean to scare anyone ...especially anyone elderly. Gee. I know they are okay ... and all of our reactions, especially mine ... must've been priceless. Bad SeaSpray! I just can't help myself and I still giggle over it all. :)
Saturday, November 29, 2014
A stupid cold and I are wrastling with each other over which one of us is going down first. And boy oh boy am I glad I got the white lights on all the bushes outside before the snow. Right now I am trying to get myself to go out into the frigid cold to wash the glass panes on each side of the front door and then string up the last set of lights around it. Then to put bows on the fresh balsam wreaths and hang on the doors and place wreaths over each post on the split rail fence and then just a few other outdoor details. Oh right ...I want to also create a fresh pine ...something for a pot near one door and in the tub out back. It's also supposed to be 50 on Monday. But ...once I get an idea ...
The fresh pine planters can wait. But The lights and wreaths must get done. Normally this would all be done but you know that feeling you get when you are fighting something and you feel like you're cold but you really aren't ...and dragging? Well the idea of going out in the cold seems like torture right now. B-U-T I will bundle really well and wear red lipstick. Yes red lipstick contrasting the pasty - but festive. :)
Son, Chris gave me some kind of fizzy 1000 MG fizz vitamin C mixture to drink this morning. I've been drinking herbal aloe force juice, acai juice, green tea with acai and other antioxidants, took a royal jelly multivitamin, 5000 mg of vitamin D an several of heaping teaspoons of Healing Manuka honey. I am staggering these things throughout the day/evening. Oh and my green synergy drink.
And last but not least, I've also been thanking God for healing me.
Like I said - I am fighting this!
I'll have a big grapefruit later or in parts. No appetite. I hope that stays that way because I've been losing weight again and I tend to gain weight when I am sick. I don't know why but I know I eat to feel better.
So a cold is no big deal except I have so much to do and want to get done and all I really want to do is just sleep, read or watch movies ...or blog.
Oh and the doctor still gave me a flu shot yesterday and so maybe that is affecting me somewhat too.
It could be worse. At least I don't have to be working in a packed ER during a hellacious and crazy, busy shift with no breaks. I remember an ER doctor once saying that it's pretty bad when you're more sick than the patients coming in. True.
Anyway ...the upside to this is that I am most likely getting this out of the way and so I will be healthy for Christmas!
Why does the Christmas season have to fly by so quickly? I guess because it is my favorite time of the year and we're all so busy too. Time flies when you're having fun. :)
Okay ...pep talk over.
Now ...a SeaSpray's gotta do what a SeaSpray's gotta do. Where's that lipstick. :)
Monday, November 24, 2014
Saturday, November 22, 2014
Get me laughing and you can have your colonoscopic way with me. Yes ...I know ...colonoscopic isn't really a word ...but hey ...the
Anyway ...my gastro doc surprised me with his sense of humor. He always seemed so quiet and mild mannered. Actually the anesthesiologist and the gastro doc were quite the humorous pair. Who knew? Well ...I guess I did give them some material to work with. Ha ha! Nothing like going into your colonoscopy laughing all the way.
I'm happy to say that despite my pre-procedure internal squirrellyness ...laughing with the doctors relaxed me ...a lot. Oh and maybe the Propofol too. ;) I'm also happy to say that everything came out alright in the end ...and I'm glad it's all behind me now. :)