Monday, September 29, 2014
I like this quote above ...and I usually live with this mindset ...but I confess I am feeling more like the lion in the poster at the end of this post. :)
I KNOW there are worse things in life. Believe me ...I do know. Thankfully ..someone very precious to me did not drown and yes I am going to write about it soon. Thank God he is safe and just as happy and active as always. Thank God we can still cuddle with him and share in his enthusiasm for life as seen through the eyes of a 3 year old boy. Thank God. (I will share that story soon. Hopefully it will help prevent an accident like what almost happened with us.) And the news abroad and now in our country is HORRID. And that is all I have to say about that ...for now. My family ...myself included and friends are healthy. Most have jobs ...which seems like an exceptional blessing when you consider how many cannot get work these days. So ...there is MUCH to be grateful for.
Gee ...all of the above seems to minimize what brought me to this blog in need of extreme venting ...although ...again restraint ...SeaSpray ...restraint.
So what has me ready to spit nails at certain political leaders?
We have been fortunate to have GOOD insurance that my husband has paid into since we switched to it in 1989 and had planned to retire with it. We just received notification that while it will still be a PPO and we will still have the benefit of the government aspect of it ...they are switching to another company ...effective January 2015. They will allow people with a chronic condition a 90 day extension to keep their specialists. I do not know if the new insurance will cost us more per month. It already costs more because my husband is retired. I don't know if it will cover as much ...if the benefits will be as stellar as our current plan. And I don't know how their UCR reimbursement rates will compare to our current insurance. Or if the new plan will have the same fast turn-a-round time for provider reimbursements. I can't find out until next month.
I just checked with my PCP's office and the receptionist said they are considering whether or not they will be staying with the new company. I thought they were a good company and I would think PPO is a better branch of it. But I am sure insurance companies are cutting costs too. I have to keep restraining myself from saying things I may regret although wholeheartedly believe, even tho it is only just now affecting us. We've been the fortunate ones in this new insurance quagmire ...thus far. And will still have it. Ha! Although we know that anyone can have insurance but it doesn't mean providers will take it. RESTRAINING ...RESTRAINING.
I will be so upset if I lose this new PCP that is not only good and also is a specialist in other areas, but I finally am beginning to connect with him because we are getting to know each other and building mutual trust. That doesn't happen overnight. Mr SeaSpray likes him too and that is saying a lot because he has an aversion to anything or anyone medical. I still miss my former PCP of almost 20 years. I care about my doctors ...the good ones. I really do. I appreciate all that they do and am grateful they have been the blessings that they are. I just don't want to lose them now. Ever. :( And it doesn't mean that I don't know there are other good doctors but I also think having a good rapport with your doctor facilitates better care. Communication and trust are key. You can't have that if you have to keep switching around. Well ...maybe you can ...but from this patient's perspective it feels like just being tossed out into the unknown and hoping there will be a safe landing ...somewhere.
I did go on line Friday night an saw that my urologist participates but I didn't see our specific plan and so that is concerning me. I called and the receptionist wasn't sure. But I know I am jumping the gun and just have to wait until I get all the new information. I still have to check on gyne and orthopedic doctors, but I might as well wait. Oh and the hospitals. *SIGH!!!*
And here is where I want to let loose on everything I am thinking about regarding the cause of this change. And I know that millions of people have been adversely affected by the implementation of the ACA. I know that for now we are still in a good insurance position. Well I hope so. UGH! I hate waiting!
And believe me I do CARE about everyone losing the insurance they liked ...being forced into plans they didn't want. Restraining ...restraining. It's just that if you have a hangnail ...even though that hangnail is little as compared to someone else's catastrophic health issue ...that little hangnail can still really HURT you and you will do what you have to to fix it ...to make the pain go away.
Ugh! And now I have to rethink and act pn the knee replacement surgery that has been rescheduled so many times - not all my doing ...btw. But recently ...I did decide that I was putting it off to continue losing weight with the idea that it will be less of a surgical risk and better for post-op/rehab. The scheduler for the operating doctor said we had a good insurance. Now I wonder how this new one will compare. And I am also wondering If I should get other things done now too. Logic would seem to dictate the affirmative on my last question.
So ...I am hearing my Aunt Janet's voice in my head now ... "Don't borrow trouble before it gets here, Patricia.", "Don't cry over spilled milk ...just clean it up.", "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.", and "Where there is a will there is a way." Yes ...she really said those things to me and more. :)
I'll add ...be grateful for the good things we have had ...do have and believe for the best in the future.
Seriously ...still RESTRAINING, RESTRAINING ...and RESTRAINING. I can only imagine how so many other people ...patients, doctors and other providers feel about the insurance situation these days and with great concern for the future of health care in this country. Ha! I just deleted some things ...still Restraining.
Okay ...I will just say this. No. Not going to now. I deleted again.
Well ...I do feel a better after having vented a bit.
Sunday, September 28, 2014
I love this! Thank you for all you do to serve our country. May you have the peace that surpasses understanding that comes from our Heavenly Father above ...and experience His abundant blessings, regardless of circumstance. And be surrounded by protective angels and come home safely. Thank you for sharing this, Marines. :)
Saturday, September 13, 2014
I'm heading out to Costco. I just love that store. Everything feels right with the world when I shop there. I don't know why exactly. I mean I can think of better places to have fun shopping in. I guess I like the diversity in choices. Oh and the quality of the food ..and the organic options too. The prices don't hurt either. And lets not forget my beloved Kirkland paper towels and Kirkland tuna fish. You just have to try their tuna. If you do you will never go back to the name brands again. Today I'm focused on cheese and chicken ...among other things. :)
The kids are staying overnight tonight and so it will be a fun family night.
And I don't want to think about negative things right now. No news ...no negativity. Nope - not letting those thoughts in. Of course the fact that I am stating this means I am thinking about things ...but after this ..that's it!
I'm also in the process of making some important changes in my life ...personal ones. 'Tis a good thing. :)
Well ...Happy Weekend to all! :)
PS - And I am embracing the little pleasures of life ...the many little things that we all appreciate during the day. It's important to experience and appreciate the small pleasures that come our way. Actually ...I've been doing that during the entire summer. One thing stands out and I will do a separate little post on that. Now it's almost fall and their is much to enjoy at this time of year. :)
La vie est faite de petit bonheaurs. :)
Thursday, September 11, 2014
No ...I'm not manic ...putting up a funny post as I did last night's previous post ...then followed by this sort of sad one regarding something I am dealing with. Yesterday's significant laughter was the first since then. I mean the hearty laughter we experience when something is exquisitely funny. I needed that. Laughter is a merry medicine for the heart ...for our spirits. Even today ...I broke down in tears when again apologizing to someone over the incident. It haunts me ...especially when I first wake up in the morning. They understood and forgave the day it happened ...but I just cannot. :(
Anyway ...I also haven't forgotten to write follow up posts on the endometrial biopsy or the mag III renal scan. On the latter ...I definitely have to speak with my doctor. His not calling tells me I had good results on the scan but that absolutely surprises me given how the test went and what happened. And so of course I should call in case the nuclear staff didn't notate anything ...but ...I'm just not ready to ...yet. I did forget that I have to do repeat ultrasounds for a gynecology issue that I was cleared of. The paperwork has been sitting on our hutch for at least a week and I've yet to schedule said tests. I still think I am alright and I am just not in the mood to do these tests either. Of course I will. And I have to tell you that the idea of my having to repeat that biopsy is unnerving. And possibly another procedure IN THE OFFICE that my doctor says hurts less then the biopsy, but for the love of God ...how can inserting a camera device hurt less then the endometrial biopsy??? I had to have misunderstood that. Right? I am wrestling with getting a second opinion if I have to do it again ...but I feel guilty doing it because he assisted in the delivery of my second son and I don't want to offend him. But if you ever had an endometrial biopsy in the office and it hurt you to the point of feeling traumatized ...then you understand my concern.
All that being said ...something really BAD happened last week. We are all alright but the situation was not ...alright and I know I have to forgive myself and I am trying... but every morning I wake up with the memory ...and I think about it during the day. To say that it was a bad, bad situation and that is an understatement.
I am not trying to be cryptic. I am working up the courage to write about this most painful and irresponsible event that has ever happened in my entire life. It had a good outcome but is CHILLING to my core when I think of what did happen and what almost happened. :( :( :(
And I guess that compared to what happened ...those procedures pale in comparison. Everything does. Every concern I have pales in comparison and I will be forever grateful for the GOOD outcome.
I wish I could forget ...just block it from my mind ...and I hope I never forget.
It is a painful state of mind ...even though I know to focus on and be grateful for the positive ...the good outcome ...not much thanks to me.
I do want to bring good out of it. It is just so personal because it is the worst failure of my life that could've cost someone theirs. Telling my story may help prevent others from making the same stupid ...mindless mistake. That is my prayer.
And speaking of prayer ...I have said THANK YOU to God so many times and I will be forever grateful to him ...forever.
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
...but I am still chuckling even now.
I was also was laughing out loud while driving on the highway back home and didn't care what other drivers thought if they happened to notice. Ha ha! And I wasn't the only one laughing when it happened. Actually ...I wouldn't even have known about it if not for the woman that saw it. :)
So what happened?
I was at the hair salon and I was reclined back in the chair as my stylist was washing my hair. I was regaling her and the 2 other women at the sink next to me with what has transpired in our house since Sunday with the darned YELLOW JACKETS! And I was at the point where I was telling them how unexpectedly a bee came buzzing by my hair and ear last night and I ran through the kitchen to get away ....SHRIEKING, "OHMYGOD!OHMYGOD!OHMYGOD!" And believe me when I tell you I was totally girly shrieking at an extremely ear piercing, high pitch like little girls often do. You know that pitch that goes right through your ears? Well evidently my thinking a bee is dive bombing me evokes the same highpitchedgorighthroughyourears sound from yours truly. I know that shriek jolted Mr SeaSpray.
So ...I reenacted the situation for the women. While she was washing my hair ..I raised my hands up by my face, palms facing outward and waving frantically from side to side while simultaneously SHRIEKING, "OHMYGOD!OHMYGOD!OHMYGOD!" just as if the bee was still chasing me.
However ...as fate would have it ....the salon owner, a very tall ....seemingly calm man ....opened the door from the outside veranda and at exactly the point he stepped inside (directly in front of and close to me), is when I shrieked with my accompanying animation! I had no idea, but my stylist began cracking up. I must've really shocked him. I mean really ...the man was just relaxing on his salon veranda. But then as he walks back into his workplace ...thinking everything is the status quo, and surely recognizing his familiar client of at least 15 years ...but suddenly said familiar client is animated and shrieking the second he steps inside. My stylist said it couldn't have been timed any better. LOL! LOL! LOL!
I wish I could've seen his face. I'm sure it was a real Candid Camera Moment. :) I'm still chuckling, giggling and sometimes my shoulders even heave in laughter. Maybe it is one of those ...you had to be there moments and know who the people are ...but it was funny. :)
And I do feel bad that I probably scared him ...but I can't help laughing either. We all were.
Thankfully he walked away smiling. :)
LOL! LOL! LOL!
I know ...bad SeaSpray ...BAD!
PS - I didn't mean to take God's name in vain with the OMGs. I am usually very good about that. However I did say it. I have cried out one, "Jesus!", for a in office ureteral stent removal or 2 endometrial biopsies because of the pain and I was inn no way using His name as a swear word ...but rather as, "HELP!" The ultimate cry for help from the one who could best help me endure at the time.
I was just so afraid of being stung ...it flew out of me. (No pun intended.)
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
A SeaSpray is what. :)
I'm not going to discuss the specifics of my Mag III with Lasix renal scan experience until I've spoken with my urologist. But I will share the events leading up to it as soon as I can.
I've been very busy with my grandchildren, an elderly aunt's 81st birthday celebration, Labor Day and enjoying the pool before we close it. The latter seems like a mini miracle because the weather has been so cool for most of the summer and the water too cold to enjoy. Cold water is refreshing to swim in but not when the air is also cold. It was like having fall in the summer. It was great as far as feeling comfortable but not so great for swimming ...or the tomatoes.
Two nights ago I spent the night in the pool for the first time all summer. Well not the night. I mean swam at night. And last night little Wrenna ...the mermaid and I went night swimming. She thought that was so special. We loved it and were laughing so hard as a heavy rain poured down on us while were in the pool. It came down so hard that it was also splashing back up on us from the water. It was fun. :)
And our younger son is moving back home for awhile and so now we have to reorganize, pack and make room again. All three children will start school tomorrow and all with different schedules. I will miss having Wrenna around but will have nice one on one time with Myles on some days that he isn't in preschool.
Also, I have a summer project that I've thoroughly enjoyed and want to take a video to share with you when I can.
So ...as far as "What Does a Capped Foley Catheter, a Traffic Jam, Valets MIA and a Bewildered Nurse Have in Common?," and the scan experience .....
To be continued ....