Sunday, December 31, 2006

Grey's Anatomy Mix CD's - Thank You ! :) and Stuff

I am really enjoying the Grey's Anatomy mix CD's that my d-i-l made for part of my Christmas gift. She made four of them for me! I love them and am playing them all the time. I need to put them on iTunes so I can listen while working (or blogging) at the computer. I have my favorites that really speak to me and then there are other favorites that conjure up memories of some of the really great scenes in last year's season finale, along with other episodes.

I can't wait for the new episodes that will be starting this week! I watched the finale again tonight. It is the only show that I never tire of because it has everything in it. Humor, drama, romance and romance.

(I still have to see the first two seasons! That would be fun to do on a snowy day, all cozy inside. Where IS the snow???)

Having said that, by far - my favorite romantic scene is in the season finale, where he used the McDreamy eyes on Merideth and their eyes spoke volumes while they were dancing with other partners, yet looking at each other. (I already said this on another post, but it is my favorite scene and my favorite episode.) I wish Denny didn't have to die. I think he was a McDenny! :) SERIOUSLY!

Speaking of romance - I saw part of "It's a Wonderful Life" on Christmas Eve. I had forgotten about the scene where George is at Mary's house, they had just had a fight but were now close to each other because they were talking on the phone with a mutual friend. You could both see and feel the romantic tension between them and it was so obvious that they wanted to be together and then finally, they kissed. They played that scene really well. The entire movie is wonderful! My favorite thing about the movie is that it demonstrates how each of our lives are valuable and how we can affect things for good or bad, that can totally impact future events.

Tonight, Jane Pauly - talking about President Ford, demonstrated this concept. She said if President Nixon had chosen Ford to be his VP running mate in 1960, then he may have carried Michigan and won the election. If there was no Kennedy, then there wouldn't be any Johnson . There was more to this but too much to type now. Without Kennedy, would we have gone into Viet Nam? And if we did go, would it have escalated without Johnson? Mind boggling to think of the different outcomes abroad and on the home front.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Fight For Your Money Re:Health Insurance/Time For Last Minute 2006 Tax Deductions !

Yikes!!! 2006 tax year coming to an end! I just realized that I need to go through some medical bills NOW and pay as much as we can RIGHT now. It is hard to believe there is only a couple of days left to do this and I will have to do it by phone.

With all the Christmas preparations and getting stented - I totally forgot. Dang! Not exactly what I want to be doing during this holiday week. We hit catastrophic with all the medical bills this year and I am sorry to have to start a new year with this stuff (physically and financially) not cleared up.

I started this great medical notebook this year because there was so much to keep track of, so that will help some. However, I let it slide the last couple of months and need to update everything. This is good though, because this project will jump start me in to getting our taxes itemized and processed early. (A girl can dream!)

***The insurance company and hospital billing dept. can drive you crazy! You absolutely HAVE TO BE ON TOP OF EVERYTHING when it comes to payments, reimbursements, etc. I feel sorry for the little old people, or people in general who think they can blindly trust these corporations to do everything correctly. Trust me here - ERRONEOUS thinking!

The radiologists, anesthesiologists and ED docs are NOT on our plan, which means I have to pay them 25% of the bill for their services. (They are killing me this year!) This past June, I called the ins. co and stated that I did not think it was fair that I am going to a PPO hospital and don't have a choice in which doctors service me, consequently resulting in a higher cost for me.

Guess what?? Turns out that since I DON'T have a choice, my insurance company will pay at the full PPO rate of 90% of the UCR charges. So, they sent out checks with an additional 15% reimbursement to the doctors. So, that worked for awhile and then they reverted back to paying only 75%! I called them again about this and the ins rep. stated that it only applied to the radiologists! okaaaayyyyy....here we go AGAIN! I politely insisted that this was NOT the case - she disagreed- I assertively(yet politely) held my ground and requested a manager. She said she would submit it for further review. Suffice it to know that the checks for the 15% difference were sent out! Now they are doing it AGAIN! Also, I need to review all payments from last winter, including what I paid out. This will be work - all the phone calls, etc. Sigh!

The hospital billing department tried to double bill me 500.00 and something dollars for a bill from January!

First of all, someone at the hospital did not do their job in making sure I was pre-certified to stay the extra day and they had to eat 3- 4,000.00. I was responsible for the co-pay, which is the amount they were now in October trying to double bill me for.

Since I haven't worked through most of this, I needed to set up a payment plan with the hospital. We combined all the individual hospital dates/services into one big monthly payment plan.

I explained to the biller that this bill is a part of the original payment plan - THE 1st bill from the hospital for 2006 tax year. The biller maintained that I owe this money!

I have this uncanny ability to remember dates/numbers and so without anything in front of me but the bill they sent me for this - rattled off the dates for each hospital event AND explained that she was trying to bill me TWICE. She said she didn't understand and that I DID OWE the 500.o0 plus amount. (inside - I am beginning to feel like Steve Martin at the airport in "Planes, Trains and Automobiles!) Yet, I remained calm. :)

I asked her to get pen and paper and write down all the dates I was giving her. I then asked her if the info I gave her jived with her computer info? She had an epiphany moment and said "Yes - I see that is part of the payment plan and you don't owe us that extra amount.

And now we have touch down Houston! Gee - was she intentionally being obtuse, hoping I would cave, so she could collect some of the money they lost for themselves?

I am procrastinating - time to sift through the tax deductions..... I will be a happy, happy girl if I do get the taxes sent out super early!

P.S. I realize that most billing is done efficiently and correctly. They have to be up on all the current contracts (which can change at any time during the year) among other things and accuracy is key to getting a timely and proper reimbursement. I just know from my own experience that billing/insurance co. mistakes do happen.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Feeling Restless - Jobs! Stents! - What to do? What to Do?

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas!

(After having posted everything below, which I never intended to do - at all, I realize that it is more of a catharsis for me. Hopefully, when I reread this, I will gain a better insight into what direction/decisions I need to take/make. There is one cute story regarding me working as a 20 year old nanny, but the rest is just me wrestling with some issues.)

I will be posting about Christmas soon. Today, I commented on other blogs. The Christmas post on Charity Doc's "Fingers and Tubes in Every Orifice" got me all sentimental when I was reading it and I started missing my job at the hospital. I have a lot of good (some sad, but mostly good) memories from there. I really related to his post on so many levels. (am tired of working holidays tho)

I am seasoned and well trained in the positions I would apply for and so it would be a short transition period for any training I might need to meet the specific requirements of the new employer. I am at a marketable age in that my children are older and so no call outs for a sick child etc. and I DON'T care if I have benefits. I only want part time, although I would step up and help where and when ever needed. I would be so flexible that I would make Gumby look like concrete! Vacation days would be nice but I really don't care about sick days, especially since an employer might think I might cost them money down the road if they know that I might have surgery.

A few years ago, I willingly gave up my right to accrued sick and vacation time at the hospital corporation I worked for. I was the senior person in my dept. and I accrued time at a high rate and quickly, but lost all that when I cut my hours back. Even tho the total work hours accrued between my two jobs more than met the hospital criteria, they said I had to work so many base hours in one dept or I would lose the benefits. I still chose to drop the accrued paid time bank hours for more flexibility in my personal schedule. It did kill me tho every time I looked at my pay check and saw "0" accrued time bank hours because I NEVER let the hours go down low. I always carried the allowed amount into the next year and then added to them. Anyway, seems there is always a trade off in life. I'm not sorry I did it then and I don't care if I have the benefits now. I definitely don't want to pay into a health insurance plan as I have my husband's insurance.

My dilemma has been that I didn't want to let any future employer down by taking a job and then going out for surgery later on. The fact is anyone, at anytime could leave for any number of reasons. There are no guarantees in life about anything! Maybe I have been over thinking this whole thing. If I had gone to work in September, I would have had 4 months of working and PAY CHECKS! And the distraction would be good for me.

Every time I go to a doctor's office or the hospital, I want to go to the other side of the counter and work and earn money. I have a hard time being "the patient" and identify more with the health care workers. It IS really weird being "the patient" and frustrating!

Last February I was in the hospital for a few days. Even tho I was a post- op patient (nothing big) I jumped out of bed to assist a nurse in helping her move an elderly patient who was my room mate! Of course, she insisted that I get back in bed and she was right, but that is just my instinct - to pitch in and help! That little old lady did rely on me to help her tho, with the tv, the phone, calling for help, her tray, etc. She was so sweet. Sometimes, I really did just want to sleep or not talk. As an out patient at the hospital and while waiting for my tests, I find little ways to assist the other patients - steady a wheel chair, carry things, walk them towards their destination, etc.

Ironically, a couple of years ago, I actually accompanied my girlfriend and her father to the very urologist office I go to now. Who could've known then that I would've become a frequent flyer there a year and a half later? He had to go in the restroom to give a urine sample and he opened the door while holding his urine sample and was confused because he had dementia. A nurse told him where to put it but he still looked confused, so I jumped up to help him and took it from him and put it where it should go. I wasn't wearing gloves and shouldn't have done that, but again, it was just my instinct to do that. I love working around patients in any capacity and do miss it.

I didn't intend to post much. I guess Charity Doc's post really did touch me, and even tho he was basically just venting his frustration, it was all so familiar. :)

I have turned down 3 job offers now - all through word of mouth. I am grateful, but when the right one comes along or I find it - I will know. The PT guy even told me that he knows a lot of doctors and that when I am ready he will help me get a job in a doctor's office. That's sweet of him and you never know. I have 2 hospital HR departments that are interested and a woman in one of them has told me to send my resume to her and she has a friend in HR in a significantly larger hospital. Again, that is nice, but I know I will get a job when I actively pursue it.

Life is funny. I got my hospital job because of a pap test I had and I got my Lifeline job because my mother fell and was on the floor for 33 hrs. I was at her appointment when it was being set up and hit it off with the coordinator of the program. A couple of weeks later, she called me to see if I wanted to be a regularly scheduled per diem (her assistant) and I said yes! I had actually just chosen to reduce my hours at the hospital and now by taking this job, I had actually increased my total hours. (I will talk about Lifeline sometime - it is such a good program!)

So, it will be interesting to see where my next job comes from. :) The only time I ever got a job from the newspaper was when I was 20 years old. I left my accounts receivable job and decided I wanted to work in the county for the summer before getting married in the fall. It was working as a nanny through some county agency.

I went for the interview and hit it off right away with the guy and his daughters. He was a 35 yr old state trooper and widower. His wife had recently died from kidney disease, leaving behind 2 beautiful young girls who were 12 and 8 yrs old. I was honest and told him that I didn't know how to cook or do laundry but that I could clean. Well, he appreciated anything I did, but I am sure it was more about the girls having someone around all day to care for them and I really did care about them. We also had fun. I used to take then swimming at the lake and do all kinds of things with them. They were a nice family!

Bob, (my new boss) was really funny and we got along well. (I remember he liked Frank Sinatra and Chicago) The first time I did laundry, he said he had to call a repair man because I had broken the machine. Evidently, I didn't realize all the clothes had to be pushed down into the machine (I am guessing that I overloaded it too) because a sock got wedged between the drum and outer wall of the washer.

One morning when I went in, he was there, sitting in his bath robe at the dining room table. He said that the pork chops I made the night before weren't cooked all the way and that he had gotten food poisoning and spent the nite up at the ER in a local hospital. I felt bad but he was really nice about it. (In retrospect - shouldn't HE have been able to tell if the meat was white and the pork cooked? I hadn't evolved that far in my cooking skills yet!)

Every nite he would come home at 5pm and he would make a gin and tonic with a lime twist for both of us. (I rarely drink, but if I do that is still my favorite drink) I would stay and chat a bit and then be on my way. Well one nite, while I was setting the dining room table, he turns to me and says "Pat, did you make ice?"

me - "Ice?"

Bob - "Yes Pat - ice."

me - " No, no I didn't make ice Bob." (I could see that he was really disappointed)

Bob - " Pat - the most important thing you have to do here is MAKE ICE!"

me - "o k Bob, from now on I will make ice."

From then on, every night when Bob came home, as he was walking up the stairs he would say "Pat - did you make ice?" and I would say "Yes Bob, I made ice." and we continued to have our evening gin and tonics with ice, until I left to get married.

In reflecting on this, I am totally amused that- a broken machine? Food poisoning? No big deal. No ice - BIG DEAL! I also don't remember cooking anything else but those pork chops, but I must have! He also never told me in the interview that making ice was a prerequisite to the job! :)

There was one other time that I used a news paper add and it was to apply at a doctor's office. It was in our county seat and the address was where a lot of the older houses are right next to each other. I was 24 years old and not familiar with that area. I walked into the wrong doctor's office and inquired about the job. The doctor from that office happened to be right out front with the staff and informed me that I had the wrong office. Then HE offered me a job working for him! He was really nice and friendly and I don't remember why, but I politely declined his offer. He told me where the other place was, but I decided not to go there either.

Not long after that, I conceived our first son and and so I went back to work at the ski resort, but had to leave after a month because I almost miscarried him.

Ever wish God would just drop a sign down out of the sky, complete with directions for which decision to make and what path to follow? I would take a job now if I thought they wouldn't care that I am stented etc. or might need surgery down the road. My doctor thinks if I put the surgery off that I am putting my life on hold and I guess he is right - because I feel like I am in limbo right now. Sigh!

And - I don't know what to do about surgical choices either! I need a sign dropped down here for sure. Really! If God himself somehow made it clear who should do the surgery, when and where I should have it done or if I absolutely have to have it - then I would promptly comply and relax because I would know that I was making the right decisions.

It would be even better if he would just heal me directly! He could and I DO believe in miracles! :)

starlitescones@hotmail.com

I have listed my most used e-mail address as the post title, should anyone want to contact me through e-mail. I have a google e-mail but have used my real name on that for my resume. Mail.google.com is a good e-mail site though, more storage and more options.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Murphy's Law Kind Of Day

Part 1

What a weird day! Nothing bad, just annoying - some positives, but mostly negative - just stupid stuff. Sigh!!

( Today, this is just a post for venting-a rant here, a rave there, nothing of any particular interest. Just me frustrated with my ineptitude to communicate, insurance companies and stupid stuff or gushing with gratitude for the good and did "I" shout at my doctor??)

Lately, I have been contemplating some significant decisions I have to make. In the grand scheme of things, I know that I will look back and see how everything worked out just fine. It's just the getting there sometimes. I initially was letting it get me down, but then rallied back and got back into the Christmas spirit.

Last night I was happily baking for a Christmas food basket I was putting together for a doctor's office I have been going to this year. Large office staff - large basket of goodies. Today, I ended up being in the doctor's office a lot longer than I would've normally been, because I had to have an unexpected x-ray and office procedure. Since I was there so long, I got to see the ladies there enjoy the goodies and they were all so appreciative. That warms my heart as I know they have spent a lot of time with phone calls for and to me, faxing test results, scheduling and who knows what else. They have consistently been compassionate, patient and professional throughout the year. Of course, there must be a special place in heaven for my amazing doctor in that group as HE is the one that ANSWERS all the questions and just follows up on everything even tho he is so busy. (I have had some great doctors but none of them as thorough as this guy.) Not only is he on top of everything, but he "listens" to me when I have had a complaint that goes against the clincal results. The other doctors are nice too, but I have only seen them if my Doc is away. Anyway, suffice it to know that it felt good to do something for them and even tho I know they are only doing their jobs, they have gone the extra mile and more and they have been a blessing to this girl.

I will start with last nite - which was fun in a Christmassy way.

The Christmas music was playing and in between getting the cookies out of the oven I was also putting the finishing touches on decorating the Christmas tree. I love doing things for people and as I have said before , I would feed the world if I could. Actually, there are so many people that I would like to bake for , but I haven't been feeling real good lately (ureteral stent is helping, but bothering me) and so I got behind on some of my Christmas agenda. I finally finished the last of the cookies for the doctor's office at 12:30 a.m. and had just finished the tree when I got the tiniest sliver of a glass ornament embedded into my foot.
It took a long time to get out as it was hard to reach and so far in - but I did it and then went to bed.

I got up early and immediately started packing up the basket, which took longer than I thought. Finally, a fait accompli - I took my shower.

Unfortunately, I nicked myself with the shaver (a raised capillary?) and blood poured out from this little hole like from a spigot. I did this about 4 years ago and it took a couple of hrs to stop the bleeding, even after elevation, ice and pressure.

(Here is a perfect example of how stubborn I can be when it comes to medical things - Even tho I worked closely with the ED and I knew they could've done SOMETHING simple to stop it (the Bleeding), I get stubborn and refuse to go to doctors sometimes. I did that last New Years Eve when I had a fever with chills x3 that caused symptoms that are beyond description. The 1st one hit at 2am New Years Day and my husband begged me to let him take me to the hospital. I had gotten meds for a UTI from the ED Doc I worked with the nite before and so I said "NO - the meds just need time to work." By the 3rd time it happened New Years nite, I actually thought I WAS dying and that maybe it was too late. I presented to the ED with a 124 heart rate, 104 temp and the Dx was sepsis among other things.)

So, back to the 1st time I nicked a capillary, every time I took the bandage off, it would bleed again and then eventually stopped. So, this time of course my shower got cut short, (my tub looked like the scene in Psycho) because now I had to attend to this and thought for sure I would have to cancel the appointment. However, after a bit, it MIRACULOUSLY stopped. There wasn't even a hole or anything! I guess it just clotted or ran out of blood from the source?

Now, I was going to run late, so I called the office to let them know what happened and that I would have the Christmas parade of traffic to contend with and this big basket to carry. (Thankfully, I was only 10 late and they were very busy! I actually had time to talk and show them pictures.)

Part 2

Fortunately, I ran into a nice, young girl (a stranger,with a beautiful smile - Jamie) in the parking lot who graciously helped me carry the basket up to the doctor's office. (it was a big Christmas Longaberger basket filled with home made and store bought goodies and it had leather loops on each side for us to hold) While in the elevator, she is the one who said I was having a Murphy's law day. I really am not at all superstitious, but it just seemed like nothing flowed the way it should. Except, that I did enjoy my conversations with the front office staff and had fun showing them pics of my granddaughter and the newly decorated Christmas tree.

I went there knowing I wasn't prepared for the consult. I have been so busy (and maybe in a bit of denial) that I just haven't focused on the questions I wanted to ask and info I needed to gather and so only brought a few questions. I am usually very detail oriented. Also, I am not at all familiar with NY hospitals or Cornell doctors or the criteria on which to base my decisions. So, even though I knew I wasn't ready for a consult, I still wanted to see the doc because my stent is causing a lot of discomfort and I was wondering if something was wrong. I haven't even felt comfortable enough to go out Christmas shopping.

The doctor was having a VERY busy day and he was actually on vacation which I didn't know and what am I doing at the beginning of the consult? I am wasting his time fumbling with my digital camera because some setting popped up that I didn't know how to get rid of.

(Hmmm THAT is a new complaint for Urostream.blogspot.com Dr keagirl is a female urologist who had a post on annoying things patients do. Patient playing with camera during consult could be added to the list.)

Finally, I shut it off. But I was also really tired, and since I was unprepared with questions, I feel like I wasn't at my best in communicating with him. He did give me some names and places to research. I did tell him the stent was more uncomfortable than I expected. So, I had to get a KUB (which revealed stent is in place the way it should be) and he informed me that he would be doing the procedure to gather the pure urine sample. I can NEVER remember the name of that (must be mental block because I HATE it) and so I think of it as a PUP - pure urine procedure. :) O k, between psycho bloody tub and now urine, I know I have lost a few of my friends reading this. :)

It would've been funny if I went to this doctor's office with my Santa Clause hat on. I like the way I look in it when I am dressed up. Even tho stressed by the shaving incident, I really was in a festive, Christmas spirit. I was wearing 2 Christmas tree pins on my coat and one lights up like a gaudy Los Vegas sign. I thought it would be fun to deliver the treats to them and some other people with my Santa Hat on, but decided against wearing it because I thought he might not be able to take me seriously with the hat on and if I had to take it off, then maybe I would have the dreaded hat hair.

*** I do think it would've been totally weird, yet funny if I were in the exam room, in THAT position - with a Santa hat on! Something surreal about that. :)

So, now I know I have to get undressed waist down for this. Remember shower cut short because of psycho tub? I didn't get to shave all the way up my legs. Thankfully, I wasn't growing trees, but still...sigh. AND my toenails (plum) didn't match my red fingernails (which were starting to chip and I had them PROFESSIONALLY done the day before.) I was going to do the toenails myself after shower, but instead of red nail polish I had to deal with red blood. The blood pours out in a stream and I could envision myself dying from blood loss that way. Obviously, I wouldn't let it happen but I wonder what would happen if I didn't intervene.

I KNOW the doctors DON'T care about these things - they are just there to do their jobs and move on to the next patient. When I got hit with that first big kidney stone (at 4 a.m.), I presented to the ED (at approximately 8a.m.) in a nightgown, and had been unable to brush my teeth, brush my hair or wash in any way and I WAS growing trees on my legs. I remember that particular week - I was really busy with both jobs and other commitments and every a.m. when taking a shower, I would have the thought to shave my legs and I kept saying "No - Tomorrow, no time now." and then that Friday a.m. I was hit with the kidney stone. Murphy's Law!

I do remember an ED Doc commenting on a patient's sexy panties that he had seen on her just before coming to dinner in the cafeteria. Having seen the patient - I can see why the patient and panties didn't jive and could appreciate his very funny comments. BUT *mental note made - Docs DO notice these things* and it is from that point on that I personally have always felt a little more shy in an exam. However, I know I am being silly about matching nail polish - that's a girl thing. Oh - and by the way- I would feel just as embaressed if it was a woman doctor - it's that whole getting undressed, feeling imperfect, vulnerable thing. Yet, I can honestly say, that whenever I was around naked patients in any capacity, I certainly didn't stare at anything and that there is this more professional way of looking at someone in that I would see them, but not be looking - if that makes any sense. And, I honestly don't remember any naked patient or even who they were - o k well, there is one. My M.I.A. ED nurse friend (Marge) knows which one I am referring to. It was back in my early days working around the ED and let's just say" sometimes "I could be a little naive. :) It is one of her favorite stories about me and she gets me laughing any time she brings it up. Wish I could share it... but - I can't! And - let me be clear about this - we are NOT laughing at the patient in any way but rather at me in one of my more "Lucy" moments in conjunction with this case!

There is a blogging urologist (the independent urologist) that says this procedure doesn't hurt. I just left him 2 comments on his xyfactor blog that it DOES HURT! :(

Part 3

So, when I got home, I went in to office mode and began the phone calls to start my research process. I started with my insurance company, which felt like an exercise in futility. I am usually strong in communications but I was definitely having an off day. My generally easy going personality was transforming into a biatch, internally of course, ok, maybe it was leaking out a little. I was making every effort to be patient with an ins. rep who appeared to not want to help with the research! I kept having thoughts of ending the call (or her life! - extreme, I know) and calling back to get someone else, but I persisted. Here is the funny thing (not then, but now), EVERY number she gave me was WRONG! The hospital information and the doctor information! She kept telling me there were 470 urologists on the list. In the end, I decided to go to my insurance site on line. I don't usually do this as I always prefer making that human connection because most people DO their jobs and you can get other questions answered as well, killing 2 birds with 1 stone sort of thing. Now.... the website is taking F-O-R-E-V-E-R- to access!!! I tried several times (our system is very fast so I knew it wasn't my computer) and then FINALLY got through. Then, "I" accessed the urologist's section and DO NOT UNDERSTAND why it was so difficult for her to narrow the choices down to a specific area!?? Then, I went back to the phone. Thankfully, when I called one of the ins rep's wrong hospital numbers, the person on the other end WAS ABLE to direct me to the CORRECT facility and then the next person there WAS ALSO ABLE to direct me to the correct dept and to the actual doctor's office. In the meantime , I scheduled for a consult with a doctor closer to home for Friday who works in a hospital closer to home.

Then, I called my doctor's office because it occurred to me that I probably need to go to the new Doc with all kinds of reports/x-rays and who knows what else. ( Now, I DON'T want to do ANY of this!! I want to cancel everything. ) I want my urologist to wave his magic urology wand(Urologists have them, don't they?) over me and make it all go away. Well, in MY perfect world - it could happen. You can't blame a girl for wishing! :)

I spoke with the nurse and told her my plans. (It seemed that all the doctors that my doctor was recommending were NOT on my plan) I, just for the heck of it, had looked up the urologists on my plan who are affiliated with this particular hospital and asked the nurse to ask him if any of these Docs would work. She called me back and told me to hold as he wanted to speak with me.

This nurse is the one who told me he was on vacation, and now I know I must be bothering the heck out of him, if he is having one of those busy days where he is NOT getting out of the office because now I AM ADDING to everything, although - I did need to know what I had to do before I saw this new guy in 2 days. (The only reason I was rushing to do this is that I have hit catastrophic this year and I am trying to save money any way that I can. Seeing a new doctor 3 days before Christmas is NOT my idea of holiday fun!) I am REALLY HAPPY to say he (my current Doctor) did say one of the doctors on my list would be a good choice. That means that maybe I will have surgery, etc. closer to home. Well, maybe same distance but just wouldn't have to deal with all the NYC stuff. I don't know for sure - still have things to sort through.

Anyway, he is talking to me on SPEAKER PHONE! I love/hate speaker phone! When "I" am using it - I love it! When I am the recipient of it - I hate it because it always sounds like I am in a cave and I don't like how the voices seem distorted and I feel weird about my voice being projected out into an unknown (to me) area. When I use it on my end, I tend to speak louder so people can hear me. Well, AFTER speaking with him, I am now thinking that I may have been shouting AT HIM!!! I hope not!

If I did - I do hope he realizes that: a. I DON'T think he's deaf b. that I wouldn't yell at him and c. it was because of the darn speaker phone. I am pretty certain I shouted back - sigh....

After all of this, I tried to go on our ins pharmacy program to order meds for my husband. I don't keep track of his meds and he left one of his bottles out for me to see and it only contained TWO pills! I order meds on line for him quarterly, always goes smoothly and they arrive within a few days. (But now it is the weekend and Christmas coming up)

Well, of course, because I decided to do this today - it did NOT go smoooothly. My fault! I changed the password 3 months ago and didn't remember it. Suffice it to know that I locked myself out! So, I called tech support. Thanks to HIPPA, she could not help me access the account or give the temp password to me. I set up the account. It was my password. It is my e-mail account. I pay all the bills (with his money) and I do all the federal and state taxes, itemizing everything. He has never e-mailed or paid a bill on line in his life. I don't care - I am just stating a fact. She was a lovely person who was truly trying to help me and I was doing my very best to be patient. I kept apologizing to her and warned her that if I snapped in any way it wasn't her, that I was just really, really tired and a bit testy. While waiting for him to come to the phone, I paid the bill with "my" credit card.

My husband comes to the phone gives the info to me and I get him set up.

I asked her about my son's info and of course because HE is now 18, and because of HIPPA laws," he" now has to have his own password to his own account. He is on my husbands plan. There isn't ANY med that he would get that comes thru the insurance plan that we would not
know about.

I do understand the whole privacy act thing and it's importance, but I also think it is over kill and creates a lot of extra paper work.

While our son was talking with this woman, I decided to access husband's account and it indicated that meds still had to be paid for. I questioned this and she reassured me that they were paid for with my credit card and would be sent out. That is key because if everything was done correctly, there is a good chance his meds might get here by Saturday.

So, it wasn't an awful day, just an off day. Maybe the lesson here is, that if it seems like the day is going to be a Murphy's law kind of day, then just try not to do anything you don't want to get screwed up! Too bad I can't collect a salary for the day's work!

Then Devan and I hung everyone's Christmas stockings up. The evening took a turn for the better. It always helps to view Christmas through a child's eyes.

p.s. I slept really well last night and slept in this morning. Also, this morning (Thursday) I got a recorded message from our mail order pharmacy program. The message indicated that the meds WOULD NOT be shipped unless they were paid for! No - please God - NOT another day like yesterday! I called the suggested number and as it turns out the tech support lady did not submit my payment correctly but it was corrected today....ah....bliss and the rest of the day was uneventful - tis a good thing.

Monday, December 18, 2006

My Blushing Face/Rudolph's Nose

It has bean a most dreary afternoon here in NJ. I needed to go out and do some errands and so I decided to take a nice, long and luxurious shower - you know - the kind where you pamper yourself with your favorite scented bath and hair products. Then after the shower I have this current absolute favorite body lotion I like to put on.

Ok, I'll give it a plug - it is Victoria's Secret "Dream Angels - Heavenly" and I am in heaven when I wear this. I always get compliments when I wear it, yet I don't smell it anymore after I apply it before I leave home. I wear it so much that I must be desensitized to it and should probably be careful not to over do it

I also was playing Christmas music, specifically, I had the "Christmas Canon" on repeat play which enraptures me every time. Suffice it to know that by the time I finished giving myself this practically spa treatment I was oh soooo verrrry relaxed. :)

And... then.... I turned around.....only to see that the window covering had silently and totally fallen off the window. Remember dreary day? My very bright bathroom lights were on, doing what they are supposed to do, shine light on everything, including ME, only I did not choose to be an exhibitionist for my neighbors or anyone else who may have been back there! YIKES!

I started to leap, lunge or whatever toward the window,while simultaneously emitting a high pitched shriek of horror! My lunge quickly turned to a duck low below the window, which mercifully was steamy. I then fumbled with the covering and slowly rose up with the covering and got it back in place.

Like I said, I love this lotion and so I was taking my time putting this Heavenly lotion on and so I don't have any idea how long I was on display and I am praying no one could see thru the steam anyway - although I am certain my blushing face probaly shined through like Rudolph's red nose on a foggy night!

Then I emerged from my relaxing spa shower experience- frazzled, blushing with hair standing on end, yet Heavenly scented!

***note - MUST call contractor back to put up that LAST window frame! We had a few new windows put up in Oct. and he ran out of the trim for one side of that window and so that is why I don't have the usual curtains hooked into the window frames.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Survivor Finale Tonight!!

It will be fun to watch the Survivor finale tonight and since the reunion part is aired live, we won't use the TiVo. Except for the talking heads, I rarely watch TV programs when they are aired. TiVo has definitely spoiled this girl!

Hmmm.... who is my pick to be the winner? I think it is a toss up between Yul and Ozzie. Yul and Jonathan were my favorites. Jonathan betrayed people, but gosh, to hear some of the contestants rant about him, you would think they think that they should be nominated for sainthood! "Get the log out of your own eye before you try to get the spec out of your brother's eye." Jonathan was more overt about his betrayals but they did it too.

Yul's "strategery" has been strong throughout the game. He has worked hard and done well with the challenges. However, Ozzie has dominated in the physical competitions, hasn't betrayed or offended anyone (that I can recall) and until recently has managed to stay under the radar.

The remaining two women are nice but not impressive and have basically coasted along. I don't have an opinion on Adam other than I think he was the pot calling the kettle black regarding Jonathan.

If I were on the jury, I would be torn between Yul and Ozzie. That said, you never really know who is going to be in the final two because it still comes down to who wins the final challenge.

Pavarti getting naked in the hot tub? The guys aren't stupid! That was soooo transparent and a moot point now.

Ok, I am predicting Yul - :)

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Anesthesia, Meredith Grey and Me

Grey's Anatomy was a repeat this week and while frustrating, still entertaining to watch. Meredith's reaction to her pain med/pre-op meds was unnerving me a bit - ok- a lot.

Over the last 10 years, I have had several occasions where I have gone into the OR either as an inpatient or an SDS and so have experienced the various effects of the meds given. Actually, in 1988, I had a spinal for a c-section and I remember the delivery clearly. I was expecting to experience the immediate post delivery events along with chatting with the Doc and staff. When I saw him the next day, I asked him why he put me out as I was hoping to talk afterward. My doctor said "You talked the whole time, but we gave you Versed and so you don't remember anything." I am sure my expression was priceless, that of OMG - WHAT did I say? I didn't say that, but he looked somewhat amused, which unnerved me all the more. That was 18 years ago and it STILL bothers me now that I am remembering it again! At the time, and through certain resources I had within the hospital, I was able to find out what happened after the delivery. According to someone in there with me, I kept saying the pressure hurt, etc. and they didn't say that I said anything else. However, knowing me - I probably did say it hurt and I probably DID talk the WHOLE time...sigh.

So, speed it up to the last 10 yrs where I have been through SDS, routine minor procedures and the OR where I have had several more occasions to experience the pre-op meds. (Thank God nothing really serious!) I REALLY feel like I have been in control right up to the point where I am on the OR table, chatting with the staff and then I am out.

I remember ALL the conversations, questions and friendly banter in the pre-op area and in the OR. I vividly remember getting situated on the OR table and who is in the room, the lights and overall logistics of the room. I remember everything that everyone in the OR does to get me set up or help me to be more comfortable.

I remember that warm, woozy feeling you get after the 1st injection and last week the anesthesiologist told me that he just gave me my margarita. :)


If they tell me they just gave me the meds that are putting me out, I play this little game with myself that I am going to stay alert and remember for as long as I can, but that works for a few seconds and then the next thing I remember is that I am waking up in post-op. Although, once I did wake up in the OR after the procedure, which was fine. I amazed everyone because I got back to my room quickly, got up (against nurse's advice - but she did let me) to use bathroom right away, had a sandwich and got out of there!

I don't know how common this is, but I have had times where I "am" conscious, listening to everything, but the staff thinks I am still out. I just can't open my eyes. The first time I had a meniscal repair done, I had it done in the hospital that I worked in. I was conscious, but couldn't open my eyes yet. A nurse walked in to post-op, recognized me and wanted to know why I was in there. They discussed my knee surgery, which knee etc. At another hospital, after having a large kidney stone removed, the nurses in post-op were discussing my procedure and some other things pertaining to me. (If only they were discussing what I said under anesthesia - DRATS!)

I had a laparoscopy to determine why I wasn't conceiving when I was 24. I remember waking up (eyes still closed) to hear myself sobbing and the recovery nurse on the phone saying " I can't take it. I gotta get this one out of here. She won't stop crying!" That is the only time I know of that anesthesia affected me that way. Maybe I was sad because I wasn't getting pregnant at the time? 7 years later, I went to work in that hospital and recognized the nurse's voice. We were friends and I told her what I remembered but I didn't tell her I knew it was her. I could see from her expression that she remembered the event and that she was surprised to see that I remembered it. I realize that is subjective on my part, but I know I am right and also, she had been a recovery nurse back then.

All OR staff should be really careful about what they say around a patient!

Also, when a person is dying, the hearing is the last to go, and so, even seemingly unconscious, they may very well hear everything being said. So,if a patient is unable to communicate for any reason, we should assume that they can hear us on some level. Something as simple as playing a music box for a comatose patient or talking with a dying person and holding their hand can have a profound effect. I remember when an elderly woman was brought into the ED who was seemingly out of it and a certain medical staffer was saying something really unkind about her and tears started coming out from under her closed eyelids and down the sides of her face.

OK - I digressed a bit - back to the drugs!

Versed! I hate the thought of a med that can cause me to forget something! I realize that can be a blessing as well. Who wants to remember their colonoscopy or EGD? (Actually, I do remember part of a routine EGD and then they must've given me more meds.)

In the ED a patient is often given conscious sedation while being worked on for an ortho case. The patients (all ages) often cry out in pain, etc. but because of the Versed/Fentanyl combination given to them, they don't remember anything of what just happened.

Back to Meredith Grey. While feeling the effects of her meds - she was happy AND her inhibitions were totally down. She said things that she would never say, to people she would never say them to and then didn't remember ANY of it!

I wonder if I have ever done that? I think I remember everything as I described. I in no way perceive myself to do the Meredith thing, but I am now wondering if at the point I "think" I have been put out - I was just given the Versed, etc. and just don't remember anything from THAT point?? And, if at that point I also am given more meds that REALLY lower my inhibitions and I am freer with verbalizing my thoughts?? For instance, what if some one in the OR is... let's say.. "easy on the eyes"? Or something catches your attention you wouldn't normally discuss? Would one then possibly comment about that? Or say ANYTHING they wouldn't normally reveal?? We ALL have SECRETS! Secrets about ourselves. Secrets about other people. I could picture myself being easy going and breezy like Meredith was and a little too free with the compliments - "YIKES" - like she was with George, McVet and McDreamy, although, believe me, that isn't MY life. Still, can't help but wonder......

So, SOMEONE please have mercy and tell me that from the point that I don't remember anything - they put me OUT!!! :)

Friday, December 15, 2006

The REAL Reason Surgeons and OR Staff Are Gowned, Gloved and Masked!

I just reread a post written by Medblog Addict called "Corn Pops" in which she was quoting another med blog discussing "Little Blobs of Fat" that look like corn pops. Evidently, open surgery on an obese person reveals fat hanging on everything and it looks like little mushy corn pops. The author of the original post said that if a retractor pops loose that the corn pops can be projected outward. In this one surgery, one flew out and stuck on a light and later dropped off onto another patient's shoulder who had just come into the OR. (There is more to that funny story and you can check it out in Medblog addict's November posts.)

I recently found out that I may- ok, probably am - ok, do have to have surgery, although in my mind it is NOT carved in stone yet and MIRACLES CAN HAPPEN. So, as I was pondering the complexity (seems so to me anyway) of decisions I need to make, I started thinking about the actual surgery and then thought about the corn pops. Ok, admittedly, this girl is on overload thinking about everything and the corn pops provide an amusing diversion from how I really picture the surgery.

Since I am not as thin as I would like to be - I know I will have those little corn pops and so I began envisioning my surgery, the retractors slipping and the surgeons yelling "O-U-T-G-O-I-N-G!!!....D-U-C-K!!! and then in slow motion, see them diving into the foxhole... er.. uh.. under the table. Or, a passive aggressive assistant saying "Ooops!" and the corn pops fly and then not unlike a cafeteria food fight - EVERYONE gets in on the action!! Hence - the REAL reason the surgeons and other OR staff are gowned, gloved and masked! ;)

Monday, December 11, 2006

ANTICLIMAX

Sigh......sigh....and..... SIGH! Why? Hmmmm....why, you ask? As I am here sitting at the computer, breaking away only to prop my forehead up with my hand, while leaning on the desk, eyes closed, shaking my head, sort of chuckling, quietly a few times - all of this intermittently while I type. Have you ever just been stupid? Or done something stupid? Or something stupidly, rediculous just happens? And it's frustrating? And you can't do anything about it? What is - is. You KNOW there are worse things and yet you are really annoyed in an amusing sort of way.

We have been watching The Amazing race ALL season. ALL SEASON! I have really followed it. I originally wanted the Cho brothers to win, but since they were out of the race, decided tonight that the boys should get it because in my opinion they were consistently at the top of the game, although one could make arguements for why the other two remaining teams should win. But, it's a moot point. We DIDN'T SEE THE WINNERS! Why? Ha! Ha! Because I am apparently technically challenged with the TiVo system.

Sunday night football has been causing time delays in the show schedules and so Tivo doesn't record past the normal time slot for any given show even though it might overlap. Now - I knew this and so I always made sure that I was around to record the overlapping time. I didn't last night because I thought it was an hour show and it had started on time. We never watch the show on Sunday nite as my husband always goes to bed at 8pm because he gets up at 4:30 am.

So we were all watching it tonight...and then the TiVo...cut the program off. I calmly, yet in that fearful disbelief state said to my younger son "No....No...tell me "that" didn't just happen". Everyone is really quiet and we all just look at the tv and then at each other. Then younger son (while grinning) says "Yes Mom it did" Then I say (as if denial will make it all work again) "please tell me it really didn't happen and we DO have the rest of this on another TiVo section - just tell me that." Younger son says "No mom - it isn't." He then proceeds to scan the list of all things I have saved on TiVo, but to no avail because as we all already knew - there was no continuation of last nights Amazing Race finale on there. Not a trace of the Amazing Race!

Older son then informed me of what I could've done to prevent this - ah... hindsight 20-20.

We had gotten up to where the boys and the other couple were racing in taxies up to the final destination in NY state. At that point it looked like the couple might have had a lead because their taxi driver said he knew where they were going. We didn't see who got there first, second or third. We didn't see the other contestants cheering them on. We didn't get to hear what everyone had to say. Sigh......

I am wondering how everyone responded. Any shared insights appreciated. :)

This is akin to watching a 14 round heavy weight fight only to have the lights go out and you don't get to see the final knockout punch or the excitement afterward. Or it's the ninth inning in the world series with a tie score, bases loaded and Derek Jeter slams the ball far, far into the air. Home run? Oh no - someone might catch the ball! Power goes out- tv off!

In sports there are replays to watch - but it's not the same as the first moment. Yes, we can read about it (younger son already did and said the boys won) and maybe catch a re-run somewhere. It's just not the same. Tonight was the anticlimax of an otherwise fun and entertaining program.

ahhh... there are still the memories of last week's tomato fights. :)

Saturday, December 9, 2006

Christmas Canon

I am in love with the "Christmas Canon"! I am simply crazy about Pachelbel's Canon in D Major and now with Christmas lyrics added to this classical piece - I am in Heaven!

My love for this piece reminds me of a Seinfeld episode where the characters would go into a trance like state when they heard "their" favorite song. Elaine's boy friend stopped everything he was doing when he heard "Desperado" and the surgeon stopped in the middle of surgery and stared off into the distance while he listened to "Witchy Woman".

This particular piece is performed by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra and is on a CD called "The Christmas Attic" - 1998. I put this on iTunes and have it on repeat play while am doing some computer work.

Thursday, December 7, 2006

Good Morning!

The coffee is brewing and I am so very tired. I just can not sleep before these procedures. I was going to take a lunesta,(which knocks me out) but thought better of it since I had taken that tramadl earlier for the headache. I think I read something somewhere about contraindications for mixing them even though it would've been at least 8 hrs apart. I took another tramadl instead and it didn't help me fall asleep. So, I tossed and turned and it seems like I just fell asleep when my husband's 4:30 alarm went off. I had mine set for 5:30 and basically just stayed there thinking that even if I couldn't sleep, that at least I was resting. I usually think it is better to just get up when you can't sleep and do something productive and then you eventually get tired. I have also heard that when you absolutely can't sleep that you are supposed to pray for whatever comes to mind as it may mean someone or something needs urgent prayer. I confess that I didn't even think to do that as I just wanted to sleep.

Back in a moment - getting that 2nd cup of java. :) I keep forgetting I can take the pot with me. I have a Bunn coffee maker, which I love because the water always stays hot and so when you pour the water in the top it instantly causes more piping hot water to drip through to the bottom. (The ED has a really nice coffee maker and I liked the concept of instantly brewed coffee!) This particular model pours into a stainless steel pot (I am into stainless steel) and doesn't stay warmed on hot plate. I think you have to drink the coffee fairly quickly as it doesn't stay as hot for later, although it doesn't get old tasting from being on hot plate too long. I am the only one in my house that drinks coffee. I wish they did. I miss having long, lingering talks on a weekend morning over a hot cup of coffee like my family used to do.

Spelling words accurately is my strong suit (usually) but I must be really tired because 1st I spelled POUR as PORE then POOR and then finally realized it is POUR! You could toss the most complicated medical word at me and I almost always spell it correctly.

I wonder if drinking my now 3rd cup of coffee is a good idea after all since I just took a diuretic and coffee is a diuretic and I have to go all day without drinking? Time to drink the water. I admit it - I am starting to feel panicky about not being able to drink water all day. I could have some dry toast and I have opted not to eat anything - but keep the liquids coming.

I think a patient needs to be proactive with their healthcare and is why I politely, yet assertively questioned the NPO past midnight instruction when I am not scheduled for OR until 4:30. After some hesitation, the nurse did check with anesthesia and THEY said NPO after 7 am.

Nine minutes and counting - time to really hydrate myself. :)

Well, have to call SDS to find out what time I should be there today and have to take my son over to the H.S. as his friend just called, sounding terrible,feeling sick and unable to drive and bus already came. Ok I have to be at hospital between 2 - 2:30. ***All prayers welcome. I REALLY would like to know why I still feel the discomfort I feel even tho clinically the tests show improvement. At the crux of this for me, is that I feel like I am blocking more than than I was last spring. I CAN live with it - annoying and sometimes really uncomfortable, but i can tolerate it. So, after today - I will know!

Off to the races! :)

Wednesday, December 6, 2006

Let the Drinking Begin!!!

I will be posting some new topics soon, but I am exhausted and going to bed soon.

I Have been drinking and drinking. (I hope I don't have to pee, pee and pee) I want to get up @ 5:30 a.m. so I can continue drinking and drinking til I drink myself silly. I am talking about wonderful H2O and by morning some really good coffee and water, water and more water. Why? Because this afternoon I found out I am going back to SDS tomorrow for another ureteral stent placement, but because I am an add on, I'm not scheduled to go into the OR until 4:30 pm. I can't have anything past 7am.

I honestly do not care about the food, but do get PANICKY when I think I can't drink water. I probably get thirstier then I would normally be if I went without water for 8 or 9 hrs. It's like someone telling you not to think about something - you KNOW that IS what you WILL think about!

The irony here is, that when I worked my 3-11 shifts at the hospital, I routinely only drank maybe 4 0z of a beverage during 8 hrs or more, unless I really needed some coffee. There were nights when the coffee brewing in the ED drew me in like a moth to flame, only to later go home to sleep with eyes wide open. I didn't like to drink when I was busy (x THAT x years!) because I didn't want to have to stop what I was doing to go pee because bathrooms I chose to use, were totally on other side of the building. Sometimes, I would sneak into the cardiac room and use that one as it was only a couple of doors away but that only works if the room is unoccupied. I wonder if that is how I got the BIG kidney stone that started this whole debacle?

Of course I am uncomfortable now because My ureter is somewhat constricted and so the water backs up into the kidney - but drink - I MUST. I actually want to see if this stent makes a difference in relieving the pressure that I have been feeling. Part of me wants it to work because then I know I am not a crazy lady or like the patients "Dinosaur Doc" refers to in his Dinosaur laws of medicine - 2nd law "It is impossible to make an asymptomatic patient feel better.". However, if it does feel a lot better, than I know that I can't be stented forever and then I don't want to think of the alternative. What to do? What to do? I need to let tomorrow take care of itself and what will be - will be.

I guess I am NOT REALLY crazy because if you think you are - you're not, because the really crazy people DON'T know that they are crazy. Neurotic - maybe. A friend told me once, that he thought the whole world was neurotic and that it was a matter of whether or not your neuroses were compatible with everyone elses. :) Speaking of crazy, more specifically schizophrenia (ok, too tired to look that one up - hope spelling is correct) if you want a really funny read, click on one of the doctor's links and look for trench doc on their links and then go there. Read the post regarding the "red velvet cake" and the post "what is everyone's deal" about his day off. I am sorry for the patient and anyone that may've eaten the cake but this ED Doc is a hoot in the way he conveys his stories. :)

I'm STILL drinking!

So that is what I will be doing tomorrow. We were supposed to get our Christmas tree today at 3pm but instead I had to get the P.A.T. done. I didn't realize that dept. closes at 3pm but my head was in another place. For one thing ,I got an instant headache once I heard I was going in tomorrow and immediately got this mad rush of thoughts of everything I was doing at the time, what I wanted to be doing as the day progressed, what I was now going to have to do, what I STILL wanted to do (GET THE TREE) AND what I wanted to accomplish tomorrow BEFORE going over to the SDS dept . for the procedure and what I wanted to do afterward. If I were a transformer, I would've blown, hence the instant headache. Thankfully, I had already showered, but I took time to put my make-up on, worked on the area where we put the tree and filled out a card for the SDS nurse to go along with a box of candy. I was looking forward to seeing her because we have worked with the same ED Doc and hospital system and even tho it is a PAT interview - it's fun - we just click and do a lot of laughing and so I wanted to bring their dept. something.

I have a rule - NO using cell phone when driving but when I was half way there I decided I wanted to know the name of the other nurse and include that on the card as well. So, I called the hospital switchboard (my son says I am like rainman in that I am quirky and remember all kinds of numbers) and requested that I be transferred over to SDS. A recording comes on (no big deal - just means they are with a patient) and to my abject horror the recording says the PAT dept hrs are from 7-3! SEVEN to THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I look at the clock and it is now THREE minutes to 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!! At wharp speed, I had visions of SCREWING UP THE PROCEDURE PLANS AND ALL "THAT" WOULD ENTAIL.

Now, normally this scenario would cause me to feel weak at the knees as all the blood was draining from my face but instead my adrenalin kicked in along with my now pre- migraine headache. The blood wasn't draining - it was pulsating! This all transpired over seconds in time. Practically apoplectic, I call the swithcboard again and quickly relayed what is going on could she find a person - she put me thru to the same recording. I called her AGAIN and (calmly and politely - honest) asked her to please connect me to someone I could speak with that might be able to help. I kept driving over there - not willing to give up - just in case we could still do this. Mercifully, she connected me to SDS and the nurse I was speaking with also does PAT'S . She said she would call me back on my cell. After about 2 minutes, I called her back and she said she could do it. Thank you God and you wonderful nurse! The headache exacerbates as I hit traffic and every darn lite! She was a sweet nurse and very calming and reassuring, which was a good thing considering that my BP registered at 213 over 1oo and something. She took it twice after that and each time it came down more - so that was a good thing. I was worried about getting a migraine and can't take I-buprofen (which is a miracle drug for me - it always works on everything) She actually jumped up and started massaging my head and my hair. (touch my hair and I become an intant slave as it TOTALLY relaxes me) It really did help along with the tramadl (spelling?) she encouraged me to take. The rest of the time there was uneventful. Blood drawn on the first needle stick (luv that) and I actually KNOW where there is a good vein and can direct them 2 it. It has worked twice now and hope it does tomorrow.

We did get this amazing and huge christmas tree tonight and it is up in the stand, so I DO feel better about that. I will be doing a post about what I call our Chevy Chase Christmas moments as they relate to our trees - never goes smoothly. However, tonight - so far - perfect tree! :)


Tomorrow night- SURVIVOR, GREY'S ANATOMY and E.R.! I love my TiVo!

Have a wonderful day! :)

P.S. McDreamy eyes - I HOPE so! :)

Sunday, December 3, 2006

Dr.Sid Schwab's post ( Oct.7th) "Taking Trust"

I have been profoundly touched by Dr. Schwab's post called "Taking Trust" dated October 7, 2006. Maybe because I have been through a few surgeries myself and maybe because I thought I was about to have another one - one that was actually scaring me. It appears now that I am not and I will find out more about that tomorrow.

Taking Trust is eloquently written, taking you right into the OR, seeing thru the surgeon's eyes. He is truly a gifted writer. It reassured me to think that there are surgeons out there who would be that compassionate, respectful and yes, seeing the surgeries as something sacred.

Dr. Schwab has many interesting things to say and also a new book out called "Cutting Remarks". One of my other favorite posts of his are the ones about the relationship between surgeons and anesthesiologists. You can access his blog by clicking on his link, surgeons blog to the right of this post.

This year,I have been blessed with an excellent doctor who has been doing everything he can to facilitate my healing process and it is thanks to him that I am so much better and may not need the surgery after all. :)

Thank God for doctors!

P.S. For easier access, Dr. Schwab has put a direct link to his "Taking Trust" post in his comment to this post.