Tuesday, April 3, 2007

* Fly on the Urinal - Aiming to Please

http://thisworldisnotforsale.com/cgi-bin/james/041025two_P_or_Not_To_Pee/peeing_is_fun180x206.jpg

Since this is about a bodily function and contains some graphics, this post may not be for someone who may be eating a meal at the computer or for someone who is easily offended. (Viewer discretion is advised) It may not be for anyone at all. However, I am amused and so.... I shall continue. :)

Someone sent me this e-mail tonight with pictures of these urinals in Amsterdam. These Amsterdam pics have made their rounds via e-mail and the blogosphere. However, it is the first time that I have seen them and so, admittedly this girl was curious. So I looked up info on these urinals ( I KNOW - I need to get a job!) and also found that JFK installed them as well. I also found out that the reason public toilet seats are horseshoe shaped is because the opening in the front is where men are most likely to hit the seat.

I find it amusing that some men need something to focus on to keep them aiming in the right place to minimize splash back (yes, there is splash back and evidently more or less depending upon certain variables) and keep everything in the urinal. Call me crazy, but I would think not getting urine on my clothing or anywhere else outside the urinal would be incentive enough! I can appreciate the fact that a seriously inebriated guy could be like a hose gone wild and even if the fly were flashing like a neon sign - he'd probably miss. For the rest of the guys though - seriously?

For the men who on a daily basis use urinals that encourage them to aim for the flies... I seriously hope there isn't some Pavlovian response for whenever they see a fly - that they feel compelled to aim, fire and shoot! ;)

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I like the design of the urinal area in the next 2 pics over looking the city - so airy. Although, it does look like they are set to pee down on the city. :)

These two last images depict an installation that features a lovely panorama of Amsterdam

These last two photos were taken in by AK in 2005.



T
he Urinals of John F. Kennedy International Airport

"Terminal 4 was reconstructed on the site of the old International Arrivals Building, reopening in May, 2001. These fixtures can be found prior to the security checkpoint."

Having seen their successful deployment in European airports, the manager of JFK installed "fake fly" in the new fixtures of Terminal 4.
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I also read that there are different places in Europe that have urinals with tiny goal posts and a soccer ball suspended from a thread. If you aim carefully, you can guide the ball into the goal.

peegoal
It's called Pee Goal
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O.K., now SeaSpray might be starting to get a little jealous because she does love a good competition! Compete with yourself. Compete with a friend. Compete with a group of friends. Hey! Why not have a loud bell that goes off announcing a winner like the water gun races at the arcades! Pee for prizes! Who knew? Who knew taking a whiz could be so much fun??

I'm getting punchy. Can you tell? I'm really tired and should go to bed, but these thoughts keep streaming out. Ha! Ha! No pun intended! :)

Actually, I can understand how someone might get a little bored and drift off and then not stay on target. The following paragraph is an excerpt from a comment that I posted On Dr. Schwab's surgeonsblog post called "Mini Me" which he posted in January of this year. (My comment ties in to this post.) Here is the link to the "Mini Me" post. Because Dr. Schwab said, "I said in a post a while back, there's nothing quite like stepping up to the table and making a bold and generous incision; especially when carrying it through skin and fat and fascia in one glorious and heraldic (if medieval) stroke. By contrast, poking little holes in a belly for inserting scopes is like peeing sitting down.", some of the comments(they were funny) were in response to that statement instead of his actual post on the size of incisions (open vs laparoscopic, etc.) and other comments were interesting responses to the actual topic.

Last August I was scheduled for a Mag 3 renal scan and the Doc had placed a foley in me prior to the test. I was also drinking a lot of water and there was a delay in getting into nuclear for the test. I had to urinate (notice - I am using the BIG word - urinate - indicative of how much I REALLY had to go) and stepped into the bathroom to do my thing - through the foley, like a guy standing up. O.k.,I thought. This is cool - it's definitely easier. But, then... it was taking so l-o-n-g and so I started looking around at the walls and the ceiling and the floor..and was actually getting BORED! The urine was STILL streaming out! I was just about to start whistling or humming to occupy myself when finally it dribbled to a stop. :) This would've been accomplished yesterday if sitting down! Now, maybe with male plumbing it streams out with more pressure and so maybe it is a tie. Is there a urologist in the house that can answer this?
Nothing personal - but I will keep my girl plumbing any day! :)

Now, if only I had that Pee Goal to play-with I would have been amused. I wonder....if I would've been drawn to the fly or is that just a male thing?

I hope I am not coming across like I am picking on guys about not being neat. I have been shocked to see how some women sometimes leave a toilet area and don't clean up after themselves. No excuse for that unless you are ill or physically unable to do so.

One day last spring when I was working for Lifeline I was having a busy day having to see clients that were located in different counties and so I had a lot of driving in between the scheduled appointments.

I preferred not to use their bathrooms when ever possible because I didn't want to inconvenience them and I was shy too. Instead, I became familiar with many public rest rooms. :) This particular day, I stopped at one of the larger hospitals in the health corporation that I worked for as I had to pick up some Lifeline units there anyway.

I have used the hospital bathrooms many times. This day, I went flying in there. No one was in the bathroom. When I came out of the stall area, I noticed that it looked different - really different. Hmm! I proceeded to wash my hands and as I casually looked up... I saw ...URINALS reflected in the mirror!!! Oh my God! I am in the MENS room! I couldn't rinse and dry my hands fast enough to get out of there! Still.. when I got to the door, even though I was totally flustered - I took a breath, composed myself, straightened my clothes and walked out of there like I knew what I was doing the whole time. I don't know if anyone was around to notice because I only had tunnel vision that I followed back out to the main lobby and out the door! Was I the security guard's entertainment for the day if he was viewing the monitor? I don't know. :)

Thank God a man didn't come in there when I was in the stall! I don't know what I would've done if I opened the stall door and saw a man using the urinal. I probably would have shrieked at a rather high pitch and scared him too. So much for good aim - fly or not. Besides, I think if a man heard some high heels on the floor in the stall, he'd probably get out of there pretty fast or maybe for a split second he'd think he was in the wrong place..well , except for the urinal. :)

So, aside from the fact that I found this to be amusing, perhaps, I was also drawn to this topic because for me, over this last year or so, it has been all about the bladder, ureter, kidneys and what passes through them when the plumbing is working the way it is supposed to. Yes, I guess that I have become obsessed with urine and the bodily functions involved in removing it. It is easy to take our health for granted when everything works the way it is supposed to. In my wildest dreams, I never would've imagined that the "U" word (urology) would have played such an important role in my life. So, since it is all on my mind right now......

P.S. I like this one, but I seriously hope that one would not be inclined to aim for the little fish on the rim! :)

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12 comments:

The Independent Urologist said...

Excellent. You know what we say about urine. It is the champagne of body fluids.

SeaSpray said...

Hi I.U. - Thank you for the compliment.

LOL! For me - it is definitely a celebration when everything is flowing through the plumbing as it should and it doesn't have the appearance of orange Koolaid.

CHEERS! :)

patientanonymous said...

Great post. I've had plenty of experiences with men's rooms. When you go to a lot gay bars sometimes the lines for the women's is just too damn long so you slip into the men's. No one cares there--one big happy family. But of course I've never used a urinal.

They have developed urinals for women but I don't believe they've been too successful. Apparently you can find the "She-inal" in a few states in the US.

SeaSpray said...

Hi P.A. - Thank you - I'm glad you liked it. I wrestled with leaving it up as I know it is a bit unusual, but then as i said I was also amused. :)

I used a mens room once and someone watched the door. When nature calls...

I do recall that I stumbled upon an article on the web about women peeing standing up and that there was an art to it, but really - I don't see how and I don't remember what they said. Guys do have it easier - no doubt, but a woman doing it is an accident waiting to happen.

HP said...

Love the urinals with a view. Men really seem to have all the fun!

patientanonymous said...

Well, seaspray (et al.), there are also certain things that have been "invented" that can aid a woman in peeing standing up. This I know how? Apart from having a trashcan brain of debatably useful knowledge (aka trivia?)

Well, I'm not a big camper but have gone a few times and in camping supply stores (and elsewhere, I presume--hey, use the internet) you can buy these things. One looks like a like a little rubber cup with a long tube, if memory serves.

So yes, if you're an outdoorsy type (or even if you're not?) you can purchase a little something to help you out if you don't want to squat outside or sit on a public toilet seat.

But yes, peeing standing up...if you're a woman and can do it successfully (unaided) that's talent!

SeaSpray said...

I've been there done that with the out door stuff, squatting or using a tree.

The tree is great because you lean your back against it while squatting (sitting position and a bit higher than squatting)although,there is splash back. Theres always a trade off!

Squatting you have to be sure that the urine doesn't flow back onto your hands.

I have a friend who got poison ivy from squatting in the brush. :) I shouldn't think this is funny because she was miserable, but sometimes I just can't help myself. :) Besides, if it happened to me - I would still see the humor in it AND be miserable.

Once, due to a bridge being out, we were stuck on rte 80 somewhere in the middle of P.A. - in the middle of no where. We probably only went 10 feet in about 3 1/2 hours. thank God I didn't have to go because it would've been real embarrassing to cut through the grass and head into the woods in front of all the traffic sitting there.

Guys definitely have it better with the convenience factor.

A woman peeing while standing up, P.A. - talent, Indeed! :)

Chrysalis Angel said...

Seaspray, what have you been up to over here?

I got a good laugh out of that post. It Makes me think of the the frequently used phrase, "oh, piss on it".

All those wonderful scenes to utilize. I especially like the one over looking the city, bet Trump has one of these in his bathroom?

Patient Anonymous said...
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patientanonymous said...

I had to laugh at this:

Once, due to a bridge being out, we were stuck on rte 80 somewhere in the middle of P.A. - in the middle of no where.

Are you calling me nowhere haha!? It's okay. I often feel like I am the middle of nowhere. Oh yes.

I know you mean Pennsylvania though ;)

SeaSpray said...

Ha!Ha! Thanks Chrysalis. You want to know what I have been up to over here? You should know what I took back out before I posted this. I was really tired and combine that with the right topic and I can get on a roll sometimes. Trust me I could've expounded. ;) Now, maybe no one else would have laughed, but I was cracking myself up - but then, sometimes less is more. Sigh!

Once upon a time, I used to use the expressions pissed off and jerk off. When I used the phrase "jerk off" I thought of it as jerk, idiot, etc. and not "the act" and one night I used it around my M-I-L to be, who is very prim and proper. Later and clueless, I asked my then fiance why he shot me that look. I didn't realize there was anything wrong with saying it and so therefore used it when ever. I rarely swear-it's just not me, just a choice - I prefer not to.

That said, this one morning a friend and I, along with my then young son had just gotten into the mini van to leave for home from our Cape May vacation. When you back out, how fast is that usually, like 2 miles an hour? I started to back out and then BAM! "F---!!!" - immediately spewed forth from my mouth. It was so loud and such a jolt. I apparently hit a solid object. I didn't want to turn around to see what I hit, but I did want to turn around to see who said that. :) Oh and I hit a telephone pole that was in such a weird place, that you wouldn't expect it to be in. Ha! There was also a sign on it that warned people to be careful when backing out, so I guess I am not the only one to have done that. :) Also, there wasn't any damage to the vehicle either although our necks ached just a little. (If that can happen at 2 miles an hour, how much worse at 30 or 40 miles an hour?)

I found the concept of urinals overlooking a panoramic view of the city to be interesting. Was it the designers symbolism for what he thought of the city (subconsciously or not)or just meant to be aesthetically pleasing? I think it is kind of fun. :)

HP - you are right - sometimes it seems like the guys get to have all the fun. :) Ha! I wonder what that view does for a guy with acrophobia when he is up close and personal with that view? :)

P.A. - I think we all have those moments where we feel like our souls are in the middle of nowhere, like we are in a barren, dry desert of sorts, in a holding pattern. The good news there is that when something is so dry, when it catches fire - it really burns. I think those nowhere experiences can be the foundation stones of strength, compassion,perseverance and whatever else it takes to come out of there, giving us a greater appreciation and enthusiasm for the blessings in life and then we are better equipped to help others. :)

P.A.- this meme, what are the rules? Supposed to be about childhood and adolescent memories? Up to what age?

patientanonymous said...

Hey seaspray, the meme is over at gloomferret's blog. You can find him over at my place. There really aren't any "rules." I just created a "theme" because I was having problems trying to remember stuff. But all it is really is just five memories. It can be anything you want...wide open.

And btw, I probably would have found your original draft funny...not that your finished product wasn't good...