Monday, December 31, 2007

O Tannenbaum-Part III The Tree

By the time we got to the lot it was dark which always makes it more difficult to see the Christmas trees... which also means it will probably take longer. The wind was really blowing, making it seem even colder out.

It usually turns out that the first tree we look at is the tree we bring home but of course we need to comparison shop. For some reason the big frasier trees seem to go earlier and we went later than usual because I had been sick. The first tree we saw was a good one although not quite as tall as I wanted but close.

I asked husband to pull it out and then dance it around. I don't mean dance through the tree lot with it but just twirl it around or walk while turning it so that I can see all sides. I hold it too so they can also look. I do like to ask for their opinions- husband, son and the lot guy's opinion. Of course my husband always likes the first tree or the second tree, etc. but I already explained what he'll bring home. I pretty much figure he'll say anything to just bring a tree home. He does tell me where gaps are though but it wouldn't deter him from buying it and he thinks every tree is tall enough. Five trees later the worker comes over to help and then another one came over too. This was great because they were all pulling trees out. I was frustrated because I wanted a taller one and they were limited. So on my quest for a taller tree, I said, "Take me to your Balsams!" I'm not sure why the lot guy hesitated but husband didn't follow and went over by son who was entertaining Granddaughter, which was just as well because I think he was getting testier.

The balsams weren't very tall at all and so we went back to the frasiers. By now my nose was numb and fingers and toes were cold even with gloves and boots. By now I narrowed it down to 2 trees ...the 1st one and another one from somewhere in the selections. I asked them if they could please bring them down to the end of the lot where it was a little brighter. Sure enough...I decided on the first tree. I asked how much and he said $125.00 and I exclaimed "One hundred and twenty five DOLLARS!!!" Husband said forget it and that he wasn't paying that for a Christmas tree. I knew he was right because we have more important expenses and it wasn't necessary. But then I asked the guy if he could possibly take anything off the price and he said he would take 25.oo off. So I looked at my husband and I guess he must have seen how much it meant to me and so he agreed. Thank you husband and thank you nice Christmas tree guy! :)

It must've been a new kid who was sawing the fresh cut on the tree because he cut it at an angle instead of straight across. In the end another guy had too correct his cut and took another 2 inches off the trunk. sigh!

We got the tree home uneventfully and I am always anxious to get it in the stand so it can start drinking before the fresh cut drys up. I have learned over time to just be happy the tree is in the stand and that the lights can wait until the next day. This makes husband happy.

The only thing is the issue of setting it up STRAIGHT in stand.

O Tannenbaum-Part IV "Crooked" Tree Trunk You Say?

As far as my husband is concerned...the word STRAIGHTEN is not in the same sentence as the words Christmas tree. Straightening the tree is a foreign concept to him even after all these years. I don't get it though. Just STRAIGHTEN the tree and it's done.

That night..." you think the tree is leaning a little?"
"No" he replied.
"Well...can you come stand back here? No...all the way back here so you have a better view."
"It looks fine!"
"You think so?"
"It looks good!"

I knew it was leaning.

Sunday night... I asked him the same thing and he said the same thing and I knew it was leaning. I was brooding about it but didn't have time to decorate it anyway.

Monday...same thing. To his d-i-l had stopped by and she didn't see anything wrong with it either. However the only thing that proved was that it wasn't a gender thing...I knew it was leaning. Sigh.

Tuesday...he said that the trunk was just crooked and at this point I just wanted to believe him. We got the lights on the tree. But I really was beginning to think it was leaning again. The reason I was now obsessing about this is because we have had trees almost fall over and so we used to hook them to the wall but we don't do that anymore because the stands are much better and we have the tree place do the fresh cuts instead of him using a hack saw. soon as he got home from work I asked him to stand straight directly in front of the tree trunk. I then asked him if he thought the tree lined up with his straight body? He decreed that the tree was straight!

I then asked him if he usually walks around with his torso at 1 o'clock?? I'm kidding! But we did go another round of straight vs leaning. And then I got an epiphany moment!

I went and got an outdoor floodlight. No...not to break him with an inquisition, but to set up at the back base of the tree. This illuminated it so that it caused a silhouette of the entire trunk.
It was now OBVIOUS that it was leaning at about 1 o'clock.

I then opened with what our retired insurance agent used to say to us when he was trying to get us to buy more life insurance. "God Forbid the tree falls over and the kickback takes out the glass in your antique cabinet and all its contents! I know you'd hate to have to clean up the mess of a fully decorated Christmas tree and to have to start all over again."

He fixed it immediately. He does resist having to fuss a second time with the tree when it is in the stand but he never went 4 days before. He was concerned that the base of the tree was too thin and that he thought it might not stay in place if he messed with it but it was fine.

So, if you aren't sure if your tree is leaning...get a light and shine it at the back base of the tree and if the person helping you is resistant ...point out what the collateral damage would be if the tree were to fall over.

Lesson learned. :)

I am going to make sure I have a roast cooking for him to appreciate when he comes home from work on the day we are getting the tree next year. I really want to see if he will become more docile with meat euphoria sedating him and therefore ok with going to get the tree and setting it up. ;)

P.S. I just want to say that I could not do this without my husband's help and am grateful for it. :)

Also, he has been right about some Christmas tree things over the years, especially Christmas trees 1978 and 1996.

Christmas tree 1977 we both learned what a cat in the house could do to a Christmas tree. Our new cat climbed in it and it toppled over, smashing the ornaments. fortunately, we didn't have much back then so it wasn't a big deal and actually was pretty funny. The cat got so scared and ran out real fast and never did it again. :)


Chrysalis Angel said...

Can you clearify the "it" in paragraph 3? ;)

SeaSpray said...

You C-R-A-C-K-E-D me up Chrysalis Angel! hahahahahahahaha!!

I went back and substituted your "it" for my it...and "it" was hilarious...the image. You had me laughing out loud on that one. :)

So...we're bad girls today...are we? :)

Thanks for the laugh.

P.S. This reminds me...I found an absolutely HILARIOUS cartoon and I am dying to post it but it is of a sexual nature. The characters are cute but there is no mistake as to what took place (unless...well I don't know maybe if they were from the Victorian era...but even then?) and so I don't want to offend anyone or have them think I am trashy. However, I am human and an adult and it was cute and FUNNY. ;)

Now I am going back to reread paragraph 3! ;)

Chrysalis Angel said...

I was laughing out loud too. I showed Fireguy what I left you and then asked him to read paragraph three. He was leaning forward laughing. So you brought us a great laugh. You know....I couldn't resist. Hey, I warn people right up front, I can be mischievous. Fireguy says he is never bored. ;)

SeaSpray said...

This has ME cracking up and so KNOW...I am going to use this. ;)

The image and in the Christmas tree lot. You ARE mischievous... hilariously mischievous! :)

Glad to have entertained fire guy. LOL! :)