Sunday, December 9, 2007

Post In Between The Tannebaums (SHOCKED?)

I hope I didn't offend any of my male readers in my previous post when in frustration to my husband's "shock and dismay" that we were getting the Christmas tree last night...I vented by generalizing about men's reactions to things when they have KNOWN they will be doing a certain thing... but they don't want to do it when the time comes. I still stand by that observation based on the many males in my life.

And as further proof I just want to say that even on "Everybody Loves Raymond" Ray, his father and his brother would be SHOCKED and resistant to having to do something they had known all along they had to do! Shocked I tell you! And if it was on this show...it must be true! ;)
Furthermore, I am still convinced that this predictable male reaction is something that has been encoded into the Y chromosomes since the beginning of human existence.
Now I do think that women should have the decoder for this behavior in their X chromosomes but I am pretty certain since the males also have an x chromosome they have somehow managed to corrupt the files so that we remain in the dark about this perplexing behavior. That's "my" theory anyway.

Part of Mel's explanation in his comment to my previous post was "They regard home as a place of relaxation and rest and they will fight every attempt to move them away from such a relaxing state." Well that explains why when we were leaving to get the tree last night and son was dragging him out the door I had to pry each of his fingers off of the door frame just so I didn't crush them when slamming the door closed behind us...although...nah I didn't. ;) But I digress.

I also think this is programmed into the Y chromosomes so that they ONLY do this to their wives or other close females in their lives. I have never witnessed this phenomenon in any male to male contacts. "General Patton! UGH! We're doing WHAT???" I rest my case.

Speaking as a female...I can honestly say that we will never act SCHOCKED at having to do something we knew about. I might whine "a little" about something I don't want to do. (OK the ONE exception - I whined with increasing frequency for 4 days at the thought of having a ureteral stent removed in urodocs clinic. It all came out alright in the end. (pun intended) But that is another story.) I usually won't say anything until the day before and I might even sigh and express that I don't want to do something even just before I have to.

BUT...I don't understand the SHOCK factor that men seem to have going on. I know he knows what he has to do. I know he knows I know he knows what he has to do! Is there some primal expectation that if men act shocked and dismayed enough then they won't have to do it??? Has that EVER worked? (Hmmm come to think of it I have backed down and just done things myself at times)

Please don't misunderstand. I love my husband and I appreciate men. I am a nurturer. I am happiest when I am helping someone else feel better. I get warm fuzzy feelings when I know my husband and others are content.

I am real glad I am a woman and I really appreciate men and our differences. I love being treated like a lady and I can't and don't want to imagine life without you guys and appreciate all the nice things you do.

I'm just sayin....what's up with the SHOCK factor? :)
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9 comments:

Chrysalis Angel said...

I laughed when I read about peeling his fingers off of the door jam. I had to laugh. You may be on to an interesting thing...yet, the phone can ring from a buddy and he's ready to help out - maybe because it's usually "guy stuff," instead of lugging in and setting up a tree. ha,ha. I love the shocked factor, as you call it. Doh!

SeaSpray said...

HaHa! I know it's true. Think back to some things fireguy or Dad or some other member of the male species didn't want to do but then the moment came when they had to do it. In our house it is connected with shopping or a social obligation. :)

I loved the little monkey as he had the perfect expression. But I also liked the cartoon so I used both. :)

passionstamper a/k/a Debbie VG said...

Ha! Ha! Love the monkey (where DO you find these pictures?) I can identify with this...never really gave it much thought, but now that you've brought this up and have given us such a wonderful picture of what a horrible task you subjected dh to, (peeling fingers off the door jam) I distinctly recall how this is a very male reaction to more than just tannebaum shopping! and the funny thing is that dh actually looks just like this monkey (not your dh, my dh!)- that didn't come out quite like I meant it to...I mean with mouth dropping to floor, (not that he really looks like this chimp!) his hair isn't all gray yet and it doesn't look like he put his finger in an electric socket! Remember that time he got struck by lightning though? Then his hair DID stand straight up...now I'm digressing...must be because of all the years in association with the master digressor-now who might I be referring to?) Anyway, only son does the same thing! (not when he is mad, only when you joke with him). So........did you GET a tree? How long did it take? Don't chop off all the branches....we got one in record time! But now it's still lying in the driveway!!!!!

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Seaspray,
Regarding the observation I made from your previous post which you quoted in this post, let me add a few more information about how men react towards household chores. Even though both husband and wife may have agreed on a certain joint undertaking in the house, men resent being pushed. They want to do things on their own without being unnecessarily forced by their wives. That's how the male ego works. It's always better if the wife gives the credit to her husband even though it is the wife's idea in the first place. That's the secret of a successful and stress free conjugal relationship, unless the husband was a mama's boy and was used to being ordered around by a domineering female. Thanks for the amusing post. God bless and have a nice and trouble free day.

SeaSpray said...

Hey Passionstamper-I know the monkey is great and so perfect for this post. haha!

No...I don't remeber dh getting hit by lightening. Could you please "enlighten" me? I'm glad he was alright though. I had an aunt struck by lightening while on the phone. Did something to her neck and gave her an arrhythmia. We had a pt who was struck by lightening and months later the family was mercilessly still calling him flash or something like that. :)

Yes...we did get a tree and there will be a Tannenbum Part Deux. ;) maybe an hour...we went to Kattermmans. Expensive -125.00! But I asked if there was any way he could take anything off and he knocked 25.00 off. Merry Christmas and thank you very much! Actually they worked so hard I probably should have paid more. :)

At least we have the trees. Once I have the tree I am a happy girl. :)

SeaSpray said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jenster said...

Hehehehe!!! I thought I would play devil's advocate to your post.

Um...

I got nothin'.

SeaSpray said...

Hi Mel- your insights are always most appreciated. I am almost always easy going and appreciative and yes I can be impatient but not bitchy impatient.

But...I just want to get the tree when we are supposed to get it and with a "little yuletide cheer" would be nice and then I want it to be "STRAIGHT and SECURE" in the stand.

Give me that and I am more than happy to do all the lights (inside and out), all the decorating, all the presents (buying and wrapping),all the cards, all the baking and all of the cooking.

He and son do have to go up into the Bermuda triangle attic to bring things down and younger son is Mr Christmas and is good about helping. He likes all the festivities. Actually both boys have always enjoyed Christmas. :)

he is real good about pitching in for the Christmas dinner with whatever needs to be done. and he is real good about picking things up at the store but God forbid I should ask for EGGNOG -OH THE HORROR!

So he helps me when I need it but has an aversion to getting the tree. ALTHOUGH...he DOES enjoy it when the lights are up.

He HAS to straighten the tree tomorrow and I found the magic words to get him to do it. ;)

SeaSpray said...

Hi jenster-haha! I know and that's funny! :)