Sunday, December 16, 2007

(Revised) I Know... Still No Tree Post But...Glitterize Bajingoland? ;)
Navigating through blogdom is like going through the free flow of ones own thoughts. You never really know where you are going to end up. It works that way in my brain anyway. In blogdom you have collective blogger brain power to lead you astray and I have found it is easy to get off track from my original intent. And so that is the reason for this post.

I was reading Scalpel's most recent post "The Angry Migraneur" YIKES SCALPEL!-I'd say there are some anger issues there.-*(Also, I am adding this now (next day) as I was going back to check his comments when Scalpel got me with this...LOL! to which I am commenting now! Nice to know SeaSpray will be remembered for something.) ;).... when I followed his link to Kevin MD...where I followed a link to this (female trouble)....which led me to this comment by Small Critic - "I work at a reproductive health clinic- our clients will do all sorts of things to "look good" down there before a visit (including glitter!). But honestly, it doesn't impress us much. If you want to be nice to your gyno:

1. make sure your feet don't reek.
2. tidying up is enough. you don't need to get a sphinx to get a pap.
3. don't have sex 24hrs before your visit. there's nothing like seeing sperm on a pap slide!"

Which leads me to say SeaSpray's signature Bajingoland glitter would be turquoise and maybe mixed with a little silver when feeling really festive or hot pink in the summer. I love things that sparkle! Shoot...I could've decorated Bajingoland with red and green for the nurses at urodoc's a few days ago. Ha ha!

Actually, the commenter above was probably talking about a brush on powder that has a little shimmer to it...or maybe the heavier glitter like for eyes? This whole time I am picturing that little tiny sparkley confetti glitter that you buy in bags for crafts or on cards too. Hmmm...that would be a bit messy and perhaps annoying to the staff when they had to clean up colored glitter from the exam table, floor or wherever it falls. That stuff can turn up in the darndest places too...for a long time. So this inane post is because I am amused at the concept of sprucing up Bajingoland with sparkles. :)

Speaking of sprucing up...I found the comments interesting about shaving these body parts. Just this past year I had a conversation with the manicurist about the same things. Our thing was grooming the "chia pet"...yes or no and how much? I suppose if you don't it's the equivalent of trying to travel through the South American rain forest to get to Bajingoland. Of letting this one go..sorry.

As for this girl there is no way in God's creation that I would ever intentionally not shave or that I wouldn't care if I had trees growing on my legs. And even more than that there is no way in God's creation that I would ever not shower before a doctor appointment. Shoot-I shave for a root canal!

I had a friend during my twenties who decided to stop shaving. That site is not for the faint at heart...ugh. Long arm pit hair and even worse when the long leg hair was flattened under her stockings. (not my intent to offend anyone) Guys look great with that 5 o clock shadow stubble but unshaved/waxed hair on women? No! And it's not fair really. Men get to look sexy for being lazy! Of course we have multiple orgasms, but I digress. I'm just saying. :) Okay...the second I pushed the publish button I had instant blogger's remorse over the multiple orgasm comment. But I am not going to delete it. My point is that we women have to do so much for our appearance compared to the effort men have to expend on theirs, that we deserve the compensation of multiple orgasm capability...I'm just saying. :)

That being said, during the week of my 1st kidney stone on Monday through Thursday-every morning in the shower I had the idea to shave my legs but I kept putting it off until the next day because I was having a really busy work week doing my own hours but also filling in for someone else. Suffice it to know that on the Friday morning that stone hit with a vengeance. I apologized to the ED staff (for that and not showering or brushing my teeth) and even in the OR thought about it before I went under. I also thought about it when going into the OR for the 1st time with my current urodoc because I had been sick all week in the hospital and not up to shaving. (I know staff doesn't care-just embarrassing)

Then last winter a funny thing happened when I met another consulting urologist from a larger hospital who would have done the re-constructive surgery on my ureter. I was going to meet him for the 1st time for a surgical consult. I showered but didn't shave my legs. So...knowing how I really am about this I of course set Murphy's law into action.

I was also stented at the time and so took Percocet for it, usually just once a day during the day and another if I was more active. Sometimes though, just having the ureteral stent would cause God awful kidney (sometimes bladder) spasms that would level me and while it wasn't often...I never knew when one would hit and I would run for the Percocet and then dive onto my bed writhing in pain. NOT a good feeling! I had to go to this appointment alone and it was down in another county and I was concerned that I would have a spasm while driving or being alone but I didn't take it. At the last minute, I did have a friend go with me but I still drove.

The appointment went well, the doc was terrific and I was instantly comfortable with him. We even had each other laughing amidst the serious discussion. But then he told me to get undressed because he was going to do a vag exam. I panicked and in abject fear I blurted out, "But I didn't take a PERCOCET!!!" I can still picture him standing in the doorway...looking at me quizzically. ( I wonder what was actually going through his mind?) Then he said, "I'm not even going to use a speculum." Then I blurted out, "But I didn't shave my legs!" (I know he wouldn't have cared but it just flew out of me) then he said.."Okay...but then you have to come back down again." Then he stared at me while I was quickly trying to figure out what I would do and then I reluctantly agreed and said. "Ok-a-y-y-y FINE!" sigh! The exam was uneventful and based on the films I brought with me ...he also believed I needed surgery..but I digress.

I don't remember if I ever told him why I was afraid to have the vag exam without Percocet. I hope I did. I was afraid that his manipulating something with the stent in there might trigger a spasm and if you have ever had a kidney/bladder spasm then you know exactly why I reacted like that. I guarantee you I don't have to take percocet for paps!

Haha! I can just see it now...."Oh doctor...can I have a percocet for that pap? What? Your using a SPECULUM?? I'll have 2 percocets please." :) That would fly well with the ED docs! Plus I can see it now...the ED would turn into the Bajingo clinic. Haha...they'd probably have some guys trying to get a pap! ;)

Well...that's all I have to say about that. And on that note I will say... The image “” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

P.S. Now I still need to go back to read Scalpel's comments to that post - tomorrow.

Also, when my girlfriend's daughters lost their teeth she would take the tooth from under their pillow and replace it with money and sparkley glitter telling them it was fairy dust left behind by the tooth fairy. :) Devan lost her 1st tooth today. Awww. :)

P.P.S. What the heck is a sphinx as it relates to grooming Bajingoland?


Chrysalis Angel said...

sphinx=full bikini wax.

SeaSpray said...

Ahhh...I've been enlightened..thank you. :)

SeaSpray said...

Hi more thing...for some reason I pictured a sphinx as having braided pubic hair or some kind of do for the pubic hair. :)

Fat Doctor said...

I'm going to email you my take on the bajingoland or whatever it is called and whether or not it should be shaved. I posted it a year or so ago. :)

SeaSpray said...

Do tell FD...Do tell! I am going to check now with eager anticipation laced with trepidation...just hoping I fall in the normal range...well unless glitterizing Bajingoland becomes all the rage...then I am pulling out all the stops or something like that. ;)

Chrysalis Angel said...

No fair FD...not sharing. Seaspray you are too much!! I'm getting a picture of turquoise sparkled ahemmm parts. Only you!

I read that stuff on Kevin MD's link. Honestly..I can't imagine not having showered most recent, as well as having legs shaved. I'm not out to date them (him or her), but I have to smell pretty and be soft and smooth.(I'm talking about my legs here..the rest you'll just have to wonder...) That's just me any day. I don't feel like a lady unless I'm the above. Even when I've been sick with the flu..I've dragged myself into the shower. I couldn't subject any poor doctor to anything less. Just because they've seen everything, doesn't mean they care to experience everything....:) After working on the squad, I think about it. I've seen some interesting things.

Anonymous said...

OK, I must be naive. Glitter???
Mrs. WhiteCoat got an e-mail not too long ago that I thought was a bunch of hooey. Maybe I just lead a sheltered life. The e-mail was about a mom whose kid was making a glitter glue project and spilled stuff all over the floor. One of the other kids cleaned it up for her.
Then mom was rushing out of the house and used a bathroom washcloth to "clean up" down there.
She couldn't figure out why the gynecologist had a surprised look on his face until she changed her underwear, noted the glitter, then discovered that her kid had used the bathroom washcloth to clean up the earlier mess.
General hygiene is good enough for most docs who do gyne exams. You'd be surprised how quickly some patients who are not as "hygienic" get a reputation in the ED when they do come in for female problems. In small towns, sometimes that reputation doesn't just stay in the ED, either.

Chrysalis Angel said...

He's got that right. There are some calls that still stick in my mind. One I had to chuckle...this guy was wearing boxers that said he "ran with the big dogs." You can only imagine the comments between the crew later. This was a very powerful person in the community too...but I will never forget the little pooches on the shorts. :0

Scott said...

Oh my gosh. That is hilarious! I have never heard of it called Bajingoland!

SeaSpray said...

Hi Angel-you know how I am about anything blue ...simply irresistible and then add sparking's almost more than I can bare. And if my guilded lily Bajingoland ...ahemm parts are gonna sparkle then turquoise is my first choice. :)

I had a lot to do today (yesterday) and so was rushing in the shower and shaved haphazardly and so I think I have stripes! I definitely didn't overlap so I am glad I didn't have a surprise Bajingoland exam. I didn't have an appointment it was just to drop the Christmas basket off.

I dropped off a big Longaberger basket of treats at urodocs office this evening. (Pumpkin cookies,Hershey's Christmas kisses,chocolate liqueurs, hot chocolate and popcorn),and a can of chocolate mint walnut brownies with little candy canes for decoration/eating. I wanted to make a nice dip with vegetables in case someone didn't want to eat the other stuff but I messed up the 1st batch of pumpkin cookies because I was side tracked decorating the tree. I ended up making a whole other batch!

Yeah... I don't get the not taking a shower for an exam thing. I understand if someone is sick or in pain but otherwise...a little soap a little hard is that?

And shaving? Smooth legs is the best feeling but on those days when I am off to the races (like kidney stone week or when stents bothered me)I do a partial or skip. What can I say...I have long legs and it takes time.

Men are so lucky in this department and that's why we deserve the aforementioned compensation! ;)

SeaSpray said...

Haha...that's funny Whitecoat! Glitter - totally amusing concept! :) I hate when I have those "Oh no did I say that or did they see that kind of moment after I get home from the doctors.

Last Christmas..December 18th to be specific (wow... a year ago today)(I remember numbers/dates and am quirky with numbers) I was embarrassed after I got home. I put together a Christmas basket for urodoc's office, then took a shower but nicked myself really bad while shaving and it was beginning to look like psycho tub and so I had to get out quickly to stop the bleeding which meant I had to do everything REALLY fast.

Urodoc had to go to my Bajingoland to my Village of Sea Biscuit because he had to get a pure whizzie winkle sample. I was stented at the time. When I got home it came to my attention that I didn't get all the pyridium washed out and it looked like I had Billy Idol pubic hair! And I also didn't do a good job shaving! This was all because the blood was pouring into the tub like it was coming out of a spigot! I posted on this last December.

I also blurted something out when he unintentionally pushed a hot button in me I didn't know I had (a few months ago) and I will post on it. I cringe when I think of it but it is funny too. :)

You are so right about "reputations".

SeaSpray said...

Hi Scott- I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

Actually the credit for bajingo goes to Scrubs (see my side bar favorites for Elliot Euphemisms)Elliot wasn't able to say vagina and so she called them bajingos and because I have had so much urological work done down there that I think there are various places to visit in the bajingo territory and so I incorporate them by seeing it as a land with various places to visit...hence Bajingoland! ;)

P.S. If you haven't done so you may want to read my Bajingoland Brochure also on my sidebar of favorites. :)

SeaSpray said...

Angel...that's funny...the boxers. It's true that we will be remembered for the darndest things too.

Haha! This just goes to show us that our mothers were right...wear clean underwear or in this case just make sure you don't mind being seen in what your wearing. :)

I've said this before but I remember one night when the ED doc came down to dinner at the cafeteria and started joking about a pts "Hot" underwear she was wearing because the pt didn't match his idea of who should be in them. Knowing the pt I know what he meant and he was very funny but I also made a mental note...they DO notice. But clothing is the least of it-hygiene however is a no brainer barring unforeseen circumstances of course, illness or disability.

SeaSpray said...

Whitecoat it is too bad about the reputations thing. On the one hand...when it involves people who by choice of lifestyle repeatedly come in "ripe", etc. you can understand the reputations thing because they are venting among each other. But it is too bad when regular people are gossiped about...their conditions and whatever else might come to their attention. Seeing that is what caused me to look for doctors outside the hospital system I worked for.

That being said...I may very well work for the hospital that I have been a patient in. Still thinking about it. I actually would work for anyone of my personal doctors because I really don't believe they would discuss me with the general hospital staff other than what was pertinent to my med case. (of course pts are discussed among partners if it comes up)

A funny thing and I know this is prevalent among health care workers. We would almost rather die then suddenly have to get nekkid as a pt in front of each other.

Yet...I would have absolutely no problem...I mean not even think twice or bat an eyelash about working in urodocs office and those people have seen my Bajingoland more than my OBGYNS. I believe that is because that barrier has already been for me it is like what else is new? Been there done that.

Yet in speaking with their staff over topics come up, a few of them have indicated that they don't tell them things because they don't want to be pts being seen for certain medical issues.

Come to think of it in the 20 years I worked for the hospital, I only know of one doctor that was seen as a pt in our hospital. And that is my point..."I" should not have been privy to that information, the procedure or anything and I was.

I think things are better with HIPPA but people are still human.

Guess I am off track from GLITTER but just started thinking about reputations.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Seaspray,
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you and your family. May you enjoy the best of the holiday season. God bless and have a wonderful and peaceful day in the US.

SeaSpray said...

Hi Mel- Thank you for your well wishes and I wish the same for you and your loved ones too. :)

SeaSpray said...

Here is Fat Doctor's link to her post on shaving

Chrysalis Angel said...

I still laugh about those "shorts". He's a guy that likes to throw his weight around and is very used to getting his way too. We have to remain professional though - You notice, because you're only human, but it isn't your focus. I really could have cared less what he had on, it just made us joke a little, because he's such pompous a character.

SeaSpray said...

Hi Angel...that's true. I think most professionals are good about that but I have heard others...

I think there is a way of looking at nekkidness when working. It's like you see it but your not looking at them but just what you have to. I think the memorable is the unusual (glitter)but most people blend together. Even I as a registration person have had to be there when people were exposed and honestly I can't put faces with anyone and they all blend in together because I saw them but wasn't looking at them. In my 20 years of working at the hospital I only remember one naked guy and yes it was his credentials , the family jewels that I remember but not because of the obvious. maybe I will tell this story after Christmas. it is one of the ER nurse's favorite stories about me. ;)

Anne said...

I am so going to call it Bajingoland from now on. How cool is that as a pick-up line? "Hey, wanna get your passport stamped for Bajingoland?"

SeaSpray said...

Hi Anne - I love it! That's hilarious! :)

Thanks for stopping by. :)