Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Yikes! I didn't mean to say THAT!!
I am dying a thousand deaths here! I have been since this afternoon. Oh boy! And GEE!
Did you ever say something you regret? That you are mortified you said THAT! And you didn't mean THAT like THAT sounded?? And you just hope the other person didn't take THAT the wrong way because THAT could have different interpretations but none of them are what THAT was supposed to mean? Sigh!
They were only 4 little words that I did not mean to say. And these 4 little words are no big deal in and of themselves. I wouldn't even put the 4 little words in caps but when thinking of them in connection to what I responded to then they become THAT that I didn't mean to say. OMGosh!
First it is connected to a previous conversation. At least I can see why they made the connection. Or why they thought I would make the connection. Which I did. Oh boy did I? And I initiated the first conversation and I can appreciate why their hot button word brought it home to me. So I understand where the other person was coming from when we were talking today. They said something to me that had a total shock factor for me! SeaSpray is rarely speechless...but she was groping for words...groping I tell you.
First of all ... if I was swallowing food or beverage at that second...I would have choked. My face got instantly hot and I could feel it was beet red with embarrassment. I think I coughed or hesitated in someway because it felt like time stopped or was moving in some weird warp of exquisite humiliating torture and yet it was really just seconds before I finally latched on to some kind of words. Sharing this image in my mind in reference to me with this other person of the opposite sex...YIKES!
And you know how we can see the words in our mind...well my screen was blank...there was nothing there... except for the image that I am pretty sure we now shared. If the words "peanut, pickle, rabbit, faucet" came into my head, I would have blurted them out in immediate response to their suggestion and the embarrassing hot button word. And there is nothing wrong with the word...at all, but I think I gave them the wrong idea about what I was thinking. I mean yes...I was thinking that...but I was much more thinking in the same ballpark but different players or I should say player up on base. But instead I said, "You made my day." I may have said 7 words because I think I may have actually said "you made my day with that one." But the conversation kind of blurs for me after hearing myself say the words "You made my day".
So? You say no big deal? Innocent little words...I know. But NOT appropriate for what was said because it could truly be taken in ways that ...ahem...you just wouldn't want to say to the opposite sex. Not that there's anything wrong with this thought because there's not but...sigh! I think I will stop here or I will dig myself deeper.
I am just cringing here thinking what THAT sounded like. AND...the rest of the conversation is kind of a blank for me now because I couldn't erase my shock factor along with mortification at how I may have come across. So now I don't know when I will be seeing this person again and it's not like I am going to pick up the phone and say "Hey, ya know when I said...?" Oh I want to though...but I won't. Sometimes when we try to fix things we make it worse. Although...I know me... I will at some point be more specific and blurt out what I really meant in the first conversation. Because like I said... same ballpark but different player up on base in that conversation.
And as far as "You made my day" I think I was actually trying to say..."You shocked me with that one" or "that's the top statement of the day" but like I said...blank screen.
You made my day!
And don't anyone tell me it was a Freudian slip! (Freud said there are no accidents. When we slip we actually really did mean what we said.) A girl's got to have some secrets and if it was perceived that way? Suffice it to know that SeaSpray has vented and is going to her happy place now. :)
P.S. I know...Scalpel...you have a headache now and Angel and John want to know what the heck I am talking about. ;)