Thursday, April 17, 2008
She's Finally Free
I apologize for not stopping by to read/comment on my favorite blogs or to respond to the comments left by friends and visitors here. I had been busy compiling tax info and inputting i c when I received a phone call from a friend that one of my closest friends I have ever had had, died on Monday, the 14th.
My heart is broken. She was my friend. She was my mentor. This past March marked our 29th anniversary of being friends. We are all unique. No one will ever take her place. She has her own special place in my heart...from which I will continue to draw on all she has taught me and hopefully to pay it all forward so that others can benefit from her compassion and wisdom as I have. She has been a major influence in my life. I know that I have been able to help others because of what I have learned from her. And she has helped and blessed me tremendously. She would tell you that I did that for her, but the truth is...I always wondered what someone like her saw in me. ? I have so much to say but I can't do it now.
Her death wasn't unexpected... but rather overdue by about 10 years at least if not more. She confounded the doctors by continually rallying back from her illness. I didn't know I was going to take it this hard. I managed not to cry today but my eyes are still really puffy. I can't keep doing this. I have too much to do. Tell that to my heart though. :(
This Water Lilies by Claude Monet is similar to one she gave me. And she gave me a poster in another version of this with more greens in varying tones. I put it on the refrigerator door and so every time I turn around from the sink...it reminds me of the pond out back.
Pat was arty and had a a flair for decorating in such a way that it was always beautiful and inviting. Whenever I was in her houses or apartments...I always felt like I wanted to stay forever. I think it was a combination of her beautiful, fun loving spirit and her decorating. She loved flowers and in her latter years, surrounded herself with dried flowers and floral paintings (among other things) to bring the outdoors in to her, since she was mostly bedridden indoors. She loved the vibrant colors and their delicate beauty. The first time I fell in love with Monet's work was when she took me to the Museum of Modern Art in NYC. And Pat never just gave you something. There was always a deeper meaning, the gifts were symbolic of things past, present and future, depending on what was going on at the time she gave you the gift.
Even her obituary was an inspiration because it shows the professional paths she chose, demonstrating that she has helped a lot of people during her life. I love what she said about her sons and how she acknowledged all of her physicians by name and what she said. And I love the picture of her. It is what she looked like when we met and I imagine her looking like that now.
She's free...finally free.
I want to post her obit and just change names to initials (except I would leave the physician's names), but then I am concerned that if anyone cared to ...they could find the obituary by googling some of the info and then our names and locations would be identifiable anyway. Is that possible? I will most certainly write about her and all that she has meant to me.
I love you my friend.