Sunday, May 11, 2008

You MUST be a good mother because... (a mother's story)

Willow Tree Mother and Son
Willow Tree Mother and Son (I collect these)

One night after I had tucked 9 year old son Jonathan in, I sat at the foot of his bed and started to cry. I was feeling sad about something and my self esteem must've been pretty low that night. I apologized for not being a very good mother. I know that wasn't the best thing to say and I really was a good mother, but apparently didn't feel like I was that night. There were other stresses going on at the time which were affecting me deeply.

But when I said that...Jonathan immediately jumped out from under his covers and came over to hug me. Then he assuredly said, "But Mommy! You MUST be a good mother... because look how good "I" turned out!" I gave him a big hug and thanked him for telling me, praised him for being thoughtful and told him that I was proud of him.

After hearing him say that, I instantly felt better because I appreciated how he tried to comfort me, but even more importantly...I could see he had a good self esteem and that he knew what a good kid he was (still is) and yes..I had a lot to do with that. It really warmed my heart that he recognized his self worth and that he was so empathetic. This is one of my favorite things Jonathan said when he was a young boy. :)


Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Seaspray,
Happy Mother's Day to you. The compliment of our children is the best healing balm that will soothe whatever heartaches we may have. To be complimented by a young son is so much better than all the applauses of many people around. Thanks for your post. God bless you and your loved ones always.

Chrysalis Angel said...

How sweet is that? You're so lucky, Seaspray to have been able to have such special gifts given to you. I'm glad you have your boys. Family is so important.

Anonymous said...

That's so cool! Our 16 year old son was filling out his application for the High School Beach Retreat (that our church does every year). One of the questions was "Who has been the most influential person in your walk with God?" He answered, "My parents." Wow! I made a copy and filed it away - for those times I think I may be failing as a mom!

SeaSpray said...

Hi Mel-thank you for your well wishes. What you say is true...their words are forever etched in my heart and are priceless to me. :)

Hi Angel-Thank you and I whole heartedly agree with you. My sons are my heart and I consider it an honor and a blessing to have the privilege of bringing them into this world, nurturing and guiding them and seeing them turn into the fine adult young men they are today. :)

Hi Kelly- Filed it away? You should frame it! :) It does feel good to know that we have impacted our children for the better.

Beach retreat sounds fun! :)

You know...I kind of think that if we as parents question our parenting abilities...even if we doubt ourselves at times...well it still must be a good thing because the bad parents probably don't think twice about it or even care if they are doing a good job.

Spook, RN said...

I was an absolute hellion when I was a teenager. My parents often resorted to corporal punishment if neccessary to teach us kids discipline.

Together, my brother and I have probably given my parents more grief and heartache than they deserve.

It wasn't till the day I moved out and started living life by my own and observed other teens/young adults around me that I realized how lucky and privileged I was that I had parents who gave a damn about me and how I turned out.

Ever since that day, not a week goes by that I don't call my parents to keep in touch - and to apologize for all the heart ache and pain I caused them... and to thank them for being there for me when I needed them the most.

My Father always told me that there is no greater pleasure as a parent than to hear others speak well of their progeny - it's an ideal I fully strive and intend to live up to.

SeaSpray said...

Hi Spook-your parents must be proud of you and feel very loved by you. It's true...we just want to know our kids are doing well.

I was difficult for my mother but I also was in difficult circumstances. Sometimes all we can do is our best and it's still not good enough.

At least you see the error of your ways. And it sounds like you have good parents who loved you unconditionally and stayed in the fray to work things out with/for you.

My uncle, while on his deathbed whispered to me that the most important thing a parent could hope for is that their kids turn out alright.

Funny how when we get older we appreciate that our parents did know what they were talking about. :)