Monday, November 24, 2008

Birth Pangs to Gin & Tonics... With a Lime Twist!

On a lighter note from what has been going on... I came across our younger son's 1st beach picture. He was 10 months old. He's wearing his little newborn shirt from the hospital gift shop. Awww...this tugs at my heart strings. Bygone days.... she says wistfully... :)

I will say that my mother will be staying in the long term care facility. :( I will talk about it more at another time. Her doctor doesn't know I told her yet and he was going to go along with me and would be evaluating her Friday. But after some things... I decided it is for the best... but it does SUCK (sorry - just upset about it) and today I was on the phone making arrangements to shut things off and finalize everything.

I am panicked about placing the cats in a home. Or we are going to have 2 additional cats living with us, our cat and a German shepherd with a strong prey instinct toward other animals.

It is tortuous to go through her things and decide what has to get tossed...which is most of it. And there is much to do and I admittedly have been PROCRASTINATING!!!!

We will be bringing her out for the 1st time on Thanksgiving. The first excursion out of what I hope will be many more. I am praying it goes well.

My heart is breaking for her and I can't even begin to talk about that now.

I don't want to wish my life away, but I wish it was next week already because then that means it will be a done deal and her apartment will be cleaned out and we can hopefully move on to a better phase in our relationship... and life.

I guess I should look at it like birth pangs. Labor hurts like heck but then you usually move on to something better.

So... we are in a birthing process.

Maybe the reward for our efforts will be a restored relationship with my mother... one that will have a healing closure... for both of us.

Honestly though and I know this makes me seem weak... but I wish I could pretend none of this is happening. Now I know that is a waste of thought and energy. It is what it is and we have to do what we have to do... but you can't blame a girl for wishing.

Next week I will be getting a follow-up MagIII lasix renal scan which will tell us how I am doing since having been stented with a BIG stent this past summer.

I am hoping my friends Passionstamper and Caribbean Blue can go with me. They make it all bearable and then we always follow these things with a nice meal somewhere. All I know is SeaSpray is gonna let her hair down ...just a little... Gin & tonic w/a lime twist.. maybe even 2... or so.... ;)


Elaine said...

My family and I had to do the same with our father after a very difficult time trying to support him at home.

My thoughts are with you.

Meanwhile good luck with the lasix test - and enjoy those G&Ts (make sure someone else is driving!).

SeaSpray said...

Hi Elaine - I remember your telling me about him and I empathized but boy when you WALK IN THE SAME is an eye opener. Logic dictates that it's not easy..but logic (like Mr Spock) doesn't compute the depth of feelings.
I feel a little ashamed that I have wined, complained or at best shown my weaknesses here, but I also have to say...I would be keeping so much in, which in turn would magnify it all.

Blogging has been an outlet...a form of release. And people like you have been a blessing.

Thanks Elaine. :)

SeaSpray said...

No worries Elaine. I rarely have a drink and would never drive and drink.If the girls don't will just be a boring test, but I'll be fine.