Friday, December 12, 2008

No Labs For YOU!


I don't know why, but I just thought of the Soup Nazi episode in Seinfeld, but it has nothing to do with me getting lab work... other than I can't!

Why can't I? Because I blew it..that's why!

I was embarrassed a little and really mad at myself but by the time I got home (just now) I was and am laughing about it..with some annoyance. !!!

So what..what did I do or not do?

The most stupid thing is what I DID!

After not eating anything since around 6:30 last night and still fasting this morning..into the afternoon (I kept doing just one more thing before leaving)... no coffee, not a morsel... nothing at all except water, I arrived at the lab after 19 hours of fasting. I can actually go without the food (I am hungry though) but I was missing the coffee. As long as I have water and things to drink I really am okay about not eating for long periods of time. But have me prep for the OR and be NPO and I am miserable because I can not stand to be thirsty.

Oh what happened?

After 19 hours of fasting, as I walked into the place...I realized I was chewing gum!

Creature of habit that I am... I unconsciously threw a piece of sugarless gum in my mouth just before I left! Oh no-o-o!

So I told the tech what I did and she said no problem since it's sugarless.

I said are you sure? Because I am being tested for everything (I really am ;) , it's going to be expensive and I don't want to blow it. She said "'ll be alright." I said I know it's going to be a lot of vials of blood. (It's my annual vampire session and why I try to tan in the counter the pale bloodless look after they take all my blood out. ;) So, I asked if I could call my doctor just to be sure. Feeling very stupid, I explained what I did to the sweet receptionist and she thought the same thing that if problem. But I still requested she ask the Dr. just in case because I didn't want to go through all that, blow the results, have to repeat it and I highly doubted that insurance would pay for a second round because the patient chews a piece of gum.

As I was on hold while she checked with the doctor...who seems very precise in all he does (tis a good thing) the other lab tech comes out, inquires what the problem is and then said "Oh you'll be alright... it's sugarless."

And with everyone... I stressed the fact that I had been fasting since 6:30 last if that fact alone would void out any potential compromise of my lab results from said piece of gum. It should count for something...I'm just sayin.

The receptionist came back and said "He said can't do it. I'm sorry." (Not as sorry as I was) I thanked her and whined that I couldn't to the 2 techs. The one tech said I shouldn't fast more than 10-12 hours. But one of our lab techs where I worked used to say 12-16 hours for a lipid profile. So... I am someone who will always go the extra and then some. I don't know why but I do. If only I could apply that to losing weight! (Now that is a good idea for another post. Use the energy I eagerly put into other things that I just want over with and channel it into losing weight.)

The tech at this lab said you should not fast this long because we've had patients faint because they did that and drink a lot of water. Um .. no problem there. I drink. (I recently put out 2200cc during a recent Lasix renal scan but that will be another post :)

So... by the time I got home I was beginning to be amused by it all but I was also perplexed. Why the differing answers? Of course I am going to listen to my doctor.. but I was wondering.

So I called the lab in the hospital I worked at and the tech said "No you can't" I didn't tell her what anyone said... just that I had just done that. Then she said."Well wait...let me go check." She came back and said you definitely can't.

That was a close one!

This definitely goes into the "one of the dumbest things I ever did" category. Sigh! :)

I am curious.. to know what the truth is about fasting time for lipids to get the most accurate results?

This is the BEST version of the Soup Nazi I have seen. If you like this episode you will LOVE this Youtube because it has all the great scenes only pertaining to the Soup Nazi :)

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