Friday, December 19, 2008

Snowstorm + Happy Mom = Christmas Spirit and Thoughts)

I always liked this picture. My guys were shoveling their Aunt Margie's driveway. It was taken about 11 years ago. The quality of the pic is somewhat compromised, thus younger son's face is blurry.. but I still think it is a great winter picture. :) And my husband has a beard. I LOVE short beards or especially scruffy 5 O'clock shadows...perfect for nuzzling into. ;)

It is snowing in these here hills of northern NJ...YIPEEEEE! My nesting instinct is strong today and I am simmering a chicken with onion on the stove for a nice homemade chicken soup tonight with biscuits. One of our favorites and perfect for a wintry day like this.

I think homemade soups have a lot of nutrition because all the vitamins are cooked into the soup. I use whatever vegetables...fresh and frozen that are handy and I like to add a lot. With the turkey soup last week, I added an extra amount of celery and onions and I will do that today. I am craving that for some reason. I always like to add spinach and a bunch of other ones. And fresh spices along with salt, pepper and poultry seasoning. last winter, I made a soup with 13 vegetables added to it. My favorite noodles to use are the bow ties. And a good hearty soup stretches the budget and tastes even better left over.

We may get 8-12 inches of snow and so barring a warm streak...should have a white Christmas. :)

I put the white candles and small decorative trees in the windows on early today but then decided to turn the Christmas lights on early too. I also put the pointsettias in the windows with the white candles. Some windows have the pointsettias and a couple of others have pine trees with white lights and all but one window has a single candle in each section of the window. One of my favorite things is to see Christmas lights on when there is snow. Everyone's lights are so beautiful!! :)

The falling snow covering everything with nature's blanket is muffling the usual outdoor sounds and it is quite the winter wonderland.

Our local hospitals near the ski areas will probably be getting slammed with skier and snowboarder accidents on top of all the typical winter ED visits. The seasonal ED visits in this weather usually = broken bones, sprains, head injuries from accidents, snow thrower accidents, chest pain from shoveling and MVC's. And then the flu and all the other ED visits.

In weather like this... the ED can be very quiet (I know the "Q" word) and then just turn crazy busy... or it's non stop busy. One thing I have learned is that people who drive SUV's think they can drive faster than they should...because if they hit ice...they are sliding out of control just like anyone in a regular vehicle will.

EVERYONE should drive more cautiously in the snow.

When I woke up this morning, I told myself that I am doing the best I can with Mom. I know I have to separate my emotions from some of her behavior. The problem is...I couldn't do it for most of my life..why would I think I could do it now? It's the same play, different act. But I have to. I just liked it better when she was feisty when she was healthy... not in this pathetic state.

And I guess... like they tell you when dealing with someone with an addiction... detach with love. When it's good... be there..enjoy the moments...when it's not detach with love, Not the same thing and I can't exactly detach because I need to be there for her... but rather...try to keep the right perspective and obviously... she is NOT doing anything intentionally.

In the past...when she was healthy...I would've been angry or frustrated... but now I just take it to heart and grieve.

The perspective I need to keep is that while I can't help my feelings when they arise...and there is no way around this because we HAVE to go through it just like people everywhere since creation have had to. Things could have and could be worse. I need to look for and embrace the good moments through this...learn through the difficult ones and be her advocate where ever and when ever possible. That is the best that I can do.

I decided to call my mother this afternoon and was relieved to hear her in a better mood although she kept stating how tired she is. That concerns me. I managed to get her engaged in some nice conversation and also told her of our Christmas plans for getting her, what we were having and how I can imagine her cat will nestle right into her lap all cozy and happy to see her.

The thing striking about our conversations is that I have to keep the conversation going or there isn't much of any. And I noticed today...she had the same intonations in her voice that my uncle Hector (her brother) had in his latter years.

I spoke with the aide after mom and inquired as to why she was so tired. Was it the meds or just her body? She said "Her body" I asked about her being able to walk with her walker and how is PT going. She said that my mother refuses to do PT and that last month she could stand and use her walker and now it takes two of them to get her up...and she is getting weaker.

We experienced that with her on Thanksgiving. I am determined to bring her back here on Christmas. Maybe... just for a few hours at least. I am praying we can.

I appreciated the conversation I had with my mother's aid. She told me she usually is the one that works with her and I liked what I heard in her voice and her responses. She also told me the wound is healing up nicely

And now I am going to take a shower, finish the soup and later son and I will decorate the tree (he has to do the top) with Christmas music, hot chocolate and popcorn. :) And hang the garland in the kitchen doorways (also has white lights) and finish with the last of the decorations.

Boy is that Douglas fir drinking water! I can't wait to see it decorated!!! :)

I am planning on doing a lot of baking Sunday and early Monday because I am following what is now tradition and bringing a big Longerberger basket filled with treats for urodoc, partners and staff. I know they don't expect me to do it but it feels good to do something nice for them because they have all been so good to me. And he especially has worked hard on my behalf, listens and takes good care of this patient. :) I am also bringing some cookies to my PCP I am seeing Tuesday and the nurse's station at the nursing home. I would like to bake a little something for a few friends too. There are more medical people I want to say thank you too but it will have to be during the winter.

Anyway...our house is gonna smell some kind of good on Sunday and Monday! :)

And I would do well to remember the following: "Even when people disappoint us or we disappoint them, we need to realize that sometimes in life, all we can do is our best and it's not always going to be someone else's best, but it is our best at the time and so we need to be forgiving of ourselves and others when necessary." ~SeaSpray ~

"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new end" ~ author unknown ~


Chrysalis Angel said...

Love the quotes. I wasn't digg'en the storm. It was a wild ride home.

Have you checked out Rob's site yet? If you haven't you need to. I knew I shouldn't have left you out here in blogland while I was busy! he,he...Seriously though, I thought it was a really nice write up. Accurate too. :)

Christopher said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SeaSpray said...

Thanks Angel - lesson learned-groveling pays off! ;)

I am sorry I missed this. That was a surprise.