I am having some routine tests done.
I felt stressed by time I got into cardiology unit... although I was enjoying the various people I was encountering throughout the hospital, I really like that hospital and was appreciating so many things every where I went.
I am very at home in a hospital environment. I know people who feel ill at the thought of even going near a hospital because they equate it with death and dying. Even before I worked in one...I always had good vibes about them. I know and have experienced, both personally and professionally that bad things do happen in hospitals... but to me... hospitals are filled with people helping other people and I equate them with help, hope and healing.
I also appreciated that I didn't actually run the guy off the road on my way down... but I digress.
So with all the things on my mind, stressing about the test and I felt like I was going to fail the test.
You know... like I just wasn't mellow enough.
And then I wondered if I should've drunk the 2 cups of coffee before leaving. No one told me not to. And did it matter if I took Celebrex cause I did. (Really helped knees on this rainy day-I knew I'd be walking all over and in heels.
It occurred to me about the coffee at home, but I really wanted the coffee and justified it with ..well..this is what I do.. I drink coffee... if it is gonna affect me.. then I should know.
So I walked in and told the tech I was feeling stressed and I drank coffee. She said I shouldn't have had the coffee.
So I assumed the side position (beats Bajingoland) and she began the test.
Evidently my brain wasn't connected to my body during the test. ;) She said.."Boy..you're RELAXED. Your REALLY relaxed." Ha! Then I got scared thinking my heart wasn't beating fast enough. (Just call me Felix.. like the neurotic guy in the odd couple. :)
So I asked her what she meant. She said "Your heart rate is only 69... now 65... you're relaxed."
Then I did relax.
I don't like listening to my heart. I mean I do.. but I don't... but I guess I more do than don't... or maybe more don't than do... I don't know... I mean it bothers me more than doesn't... yet I am so drawn into listening to it... kind of eerie though... in a fascinating way.
It's fascinating... yet makes me feel so vulnerable and want to protect it. I know all the things I've done wrong and I appreciate the work it does. Heck.. I would send it a pretty thank you card if I could. :)
It is an amazing if not miraculous organ. It keeps going and going and going for decades in people...even over a century in some.
One of my heartbeat recordings reminded me of a worker on a construction job site. You'd want to hire this worker. Dedicated, diligent... and always on the job.
I also appreciated the tech and thought she performed her job well.