Monday, June 15, 2009
What Happens When Your Town Doesn't Enforce Zoning Laws
See... it won't be THAT big.
I can't really write about this in full... but suffice it to know that we have someone in our community who is in GROSS violation of our residential zoning laws by bringing in and operating an industrial business that could potentially jeopardize our health and devalue our homes.
Did I say this was being perpetrated in a RESIDENTIAL area?
Oh...and on top of that... over highly prized and protected wetlands!
To date... our (not) esteemed public officials have done nothing to close this operation down. A few warnings/citations were issued, but they have done NOTHING to enforce that the business be SHUT DOWN!
May I ask.. .then... WHY do we elect public officials... if not for the protection and well being of the citizens and the town? Are they not sworn in to uphold the laws... to see that they are enforced?
I am confused about this. Perhaps someone could enlighten me as to how this can happen and they are able to get away with not performing their public duties. ??
However... far be it from this enterprising girl to let go of a Golden opportunity to make some money!
I would like to make an announcement.
Since I have been pondering about how to make money... I have decided that in the spirit of the newly found freedoms bestowed to us from our town officials... I want to
put up a mini amusement park in our yard!
Yes.. an amusement park!
I figure a moderate sized roller coaster, scrambler and octopus might be a nice draw. We'll do our best to keep the screaming from abject fear to a minimum.. but hey.. you know.. without the zoning laws being enforced.. what can I say? We'll also keep the rides painted so they don't look too unsightly. I am thinking in keeping with a summer theme...Aqua and Pink would be pretty colors. Think Miami Vice. :)
However, I am not going to worry about the
safety permits... because... well what the heck..the TOWN OFFICIALS won't care!
Oh heck... we won't be concerned about ANY permits... because we know
they're not enforced anyway!
Whoohoo..free for all!
The community shouldn't worry about noise... since the other ILLEGAL business noise commences at approximately 4:30 in the morning. But rest assured... we are sensitive to the noise pollution concern and don't wish to further compound the
situation and so our amusement park business hours will be 12pm to 12 midnight.
If the arcade and amusement lights and noise bother the residents.. I suggest they just
close their windows and curtains... maybe turn on some white noise.
C'mon...we all have to learn to live together...right?
Oh... and while the amusement park will draw it's fair share of traffic into our
lovely country residential community... I want to assure everyone, that with the exception for construction or repairs of said amusement park... there will not, I repeat will not be any large industrial vehicles traversing our roads.... but merely the onslaught of frequent park visitors.
I kind of figure you won't mind if they park along your properties because... well
they have to park somewhere. We all share the planet..right? What's a little boundary..here and there...a little ZONING LAW on the books...when we know they aren't enforced.
Some people can be so FUSSY... don't you think?
Lest it seem that we are being inconsiderate and in flagrant violation of zoning
laws... I assure you we are not.
Why we give you our word that there will be no clowns in costume walking around the amusement park because we are sensitive to the fact that some people have Coulrophobia which is the abnormal or exaggerated fear of clowns. As owners of said amusement park... I assure you we do not wish to scare anyone with clowns.
See... how we are at least attempting to work with the community for their good? I'm just saying.
And we can't possibly be violating zoning laws with this new project because
the town apparently doesn't have any *enforceable* zoning laws... thus
we can all do as we please with our properties. :)
Seriously though ..I'm thinking if the amusement park doesn't work out... perhaps we
will put in a petting zoo... you know... a mixture of farm and exotic animals.
What's a little elephant call at 3:00 am when the industrial trucks wake us up
at 4:30am? Or maybe a little or BIG wayward llama roaming the neighborhood?
Besides.. the manure from all the animals will come in handy for the
Shoot... it can be communal manure and we'll share with all the
neighbors! See that... the trade off won't be that bad.. loss of privacy and peacefulness in the community... but at least they'll have some manure in exchange for said losses.
I am curious to hear of what future plans other residents may have for their properties since
we no longer have to obey any zoning or environmental laws.
Remember... one always has to look at the bright side! ;)