Sunday, September 6, 2009

Gum Snorting Exposed

http://aura1.gaia.com/photos/15/143298/large/Snorting_Quack.jpg

The following very amusing comment is the first thing I read in the land of blogdom today. It was a comment written by my blogging friend John from Full on Forward in response to my post I wrote about our younger son accidentally inhaling his gum up the back of his throat and into the back of his nose..which after a few minutes..he was fortunately able to blow out his nose.

Here is John's comment: Everyone NOSE you are supposed to park your chewing gum on the bedpost overnight! Also snorting Gum is a gateway drug. 1st it's gum, then you go onto the harder stuff like Twizzlers, and before you know it, you are laughing up a storm watching old 3 Stooges Movies just to get a Gummie Bears stuck up there!

Keep an aye on him, for slipping grades, bubbles, popping noises etc! These are subtle warning signs of a growing problem in America. Gum Snorting

J

Thanks for starting my day out with a good laugh John. :)

And John... because I just can't resist... I feel I should add some other warning signs..prior to Twizzler addiction.

I'll just add that when confronting one such gum snorter.. if you ask how many times they snorted gum that day and they respond with 5 times.. figure 10 gum snorts. You always double confessed amounts with an addict.

Anyone living with a gum snorter knows the wretched reality.. wrappers..empty gum wrappers everywhere and stashes of gum..hidden here and there..even outside.

You find abc (already been chewed) gum stuck under tables or that you have to dodge around spewed gum on the sidewalks.. or worse.. on the floors in your own home.

Sadly... anyone around a gum snorter for any length of time becomes hypervigilant and can hear gum being unwrapped even if in a different room. Then finally..their breath..dead give away. They wreak of orange splash, cinnamon ... sometimes peppermint.. or whatever the gum du jour may be.

And at first..it's just weekend gum snorts, then holidays and before you know it..they're gum snorting.. just because it's Tuesday.. and not long after that.. they don't even know why. The worst is the gum snort black outs. I believe this event is the last that precipitates the gum snorter's involvement with Twizzlers.. because they're hardcore addicts by this point.

*Intervention strongly recommended before they hit the Twizzlers. :)

4 comments:

John McElveen said...

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Loved it! Great additions!
Another tip off is the music- if the Play CANDY MAN by Sammie Davis Jr over and over....there's a sign!

J

Also trying to blow bubbles from non-bubble conducive material, lie: Mashed potatoes or Single wrapped American Cheese slices.......

SeaSpray said...

Oh John..YOU"RE the MASTER of humor. Your idea..I just ran with it. :)

"trying to blow bubbles from non-bubble conducive material, lie: Mashed potatoes or Single wrapped American Cheese slices...."

Hilarious!!!!!!!!!!

Chrysalis Angel said...

I know. I read John's comment to you and was cracking up. The two of you, geeshhh.

SeaSpray said...

Hi Angel - I know. I wish we worked together. Shifts would go by really fast! :)

Hey John -we should do a collaborative blog. :)