Monday, October 12, 2009

Medical on My Mind and SeaSpray Confessions

Waking Up Is Hard To Do by the Laryngospasms (These guys are great!)

I figure a little levity is in order since I was so serious in this post. LOL! I'd so totally LOVE going under if these guys were in the OR singing. Okay..well I'd still be squirrelly about loss of control... but I'd definitely go under with a smile.. maybe even singing in my spirit. Ha! Maybe that should be an OR prerequisite.. you know... the docs and nurses all singing the patients to sleep. ;)

Medical is on my mind ... and so I see my posts seem to be going in that direction.

I'm scheduled for a urology procedure soon.

No big deal really. I mean.. I know the drill...frequent flier and all that.

But I have some concerns.

I mean.. I am 90% sure urodoc will give me a good report. (I'll come back to the uro in another post before I go in.)

Wait...someone recently told me that I am supposed to say.. "I am healthy. I am healthy. I am healthy... because I told her one of my main goals is to be healthier and make the lifestyle changes I need to make.

One of them is to lose weight and let me tell you.. it is not easy. I certainly have... but then go back up..not all the way.. but some.. enough to lose the good recent ground I've gained.. or should I say lost? you know what I mean.

I am not in full swing yo-yoing... but lost and then small increments upward.


Why does that happen so easily?

I am not a stupid person. *I* could write a book on what I should do... what is good, etc., etc., etc., blah!

I am able to shop in places I couldn't before and wear their clothes. That is such a great feeling!

It also feels great to feel thinner!

And to look thinner... although I have to lose more.

* I am especially frustrated that I can't go down past this *key* (for me) number on the scale. I was within 2 lbs in Feb 07... then went back up 25lbs... then have yo-yo'd between 15 pounds lower and up for a couple of years and then recently went down a few more and I was so excited... and now I'm starting to go back up these last few days. !!! WHY???

Oh.. I know the obvious... too many calories in and not burning enough.

So.. if I could just go down *15 lbs* (as of this date), I could break the pound barrier goal I have.. that I have not been able to get past. If I do that... it would be so motivational! I haven't been that weight since the late 80s... 1989.

I know it is an addictive behavior which is underscored anytime I eat... and I am not hungry. After all... why in the world eat if i am NOT hungry? They say.. a collective they from various sources ...that if you *only* eat when you are hungry... and stop *just before or as soon as you are feeling full* *WILL lose weight* and go down to the weight that you were created to naturally be. They even say... you could do that eating *anything* you want because the key is to pay attention to the fullness signal from your brain. (more on that another time)

I am not advocating that we should live on junk food but rather making the point that it is volume as determined by our individual bodies. then of course there are the individual metabolisms and lifestyles, i.e., ...sedentary vs active, etc.

It would seem that it should be so simple but it is not because there are so many variables.

And then there is the psychological component... learned behaviors, cultural, medical -physiology/depression. Not every person is wired the same and so not every person wrestling with weight issues is struggling with weight loss for the same reasons.

It is complicated.

But not impossible!

I know I got the wrong messages when I was younger, then misinformation and then I fell prey to every starvation/crash diet that came along. And when I was 15 and maybe 20-25 lbs over weight... my doctor gave me diet pills and I lost most of the weight... but not because I understood healthy eating... which by the way.. the medical profession was sadly informed too. I say that when I think of those little unrealistic diet sheets they handed out without giving any understanding to the dynamics going on... both physically and emotionally.

I heard a physician say once that they only got one class on nutrition and most of them were misinformed too. this was back in the 80s/90s and this particular doctor was one of the first that I know of to teach the public about anti-oxidants and the Mediterranean diet. He was the one who said people should never use the margarine's that turn to plastic in your system.. that small amounts of real butter was much healthier. Also that eggs were getting a bum rap and that they had so many good things in them. In my aunt and uncle's house... all we ever had was margarine and they didn't eat eggs. My uncle had a medical hx of an aortic aneurysm and3 angioplasties. he did live to be 86. he also almost always maintained a healthy weight.

Again..this was in the 80s and early 90s these doctors were teaching these things. They were regular physicians who along with traditional medicine also embraced holistic approaches... with heavy emphasis on good nutrition. They believed mind, body and spiritual health were all key to good health.

They were talking about these things way before the AMA came out touting the importance of anti-oxidants.

I also belonged to a local food co-op for a few years. I volunteered my time to work for free in exchange for reduced prices. It was fun actually! Wrapping cheeses, packing herbs, stocking, cleaning, the register..what ever was needed. And I learned a lot there too.

My point is that regardless of the past mistakes when I was a teenager and young adult... I have since learned the error of my ways... and yet perpetuate the same counterproductive, self sabotaging after day and night after night and I feel like... what? do I have to DIE first before I get it??? well okay.. that would be too late.. but you know what I mean.. it feels that ridiculously extreme to me. Can you tell I am quite annoyed with myself at the moment?

Seriously... a-n-n-o-y-e-d at myself!!!

Oh.. and never mind that we women always want to look good, feel pretty sexy or whatever... I feel all that... but now.. and more importantly.. I want to live a healthy, productive, quality life for a long time. I have been frickin pussy footing around with this yo-yoing BS since January 06.

I can honestly say.. that the weight I did lose initially... wasn't hard. LOL!.. I joke it was because I was on the Percocet diet. I was on it and stented and didn't care about food as much. But alas... one can not live on Percocet. Seriously.. that may've been part of it in 2006, but I also lost on my own too.

And do you want to know the only things I have to do to lose weight??? at least for now???

I can still eat what I want...within reason of course... but nothing stringent to lose weight.

1. Eat breakfast and lunch. (I tend to only have coffee or water... oh and some supplements.)
2. Also have snacks in between. (I don't like the feeling of having food in my stomach when I am busy)

*Did I mention that I am a non-insulin dependent diabetic.. Type II? So... I KNOW all day fasting is not good. I KNOW that it is important to have 6 small meals a day. Someone once said that the diabetic diet is good for anyone who wants to lose weight. And diabetics can still have sugar..if they really want to have something... but it's a trade off. You can't have peas, potatoes and pies in one meal. I DO know these things. But I guess for all my supposed knowledge.. I am behaving stupidly. I have put my head in the sand and haven't wanted to focus on the consequences of not paying attention to these things.

Oh and about sugar... it is empty nutrition in sugar and feeds cancer cells. I do think you should be able to enjoy it once in a while... but moderation is key. And that is one of my things I wrestle with... that moderation thing. I'll talk about moderation another time.

One thing I've discovered about sugar as it pertains to me... it n-e-v-e-r satisfies me. It is a trigger food and I want more and more and more.. verses my having a complex carbohydrate with which I will feel completely satisfied.

And you may now have an image of my lying around eating Twinkies (blech) or something and I do not. I am a wholegrain, complex carbohydrate girl! the closer the food is to how God made it the better I like it.. you know..with the real flavors.. not the greasy, fake food with additives.

That being said I also like dairy (cheese) too much, mayonnaise (Hellman's) and other things and I do like sweets..although not soda..or rarely anyway. Stuffing and gravy is my favorite part of the Thanksgiving meal.. oh and the potatoes. :)

And here is the thing... I can have them... but it is that darn moderation thing again.

3. Do not eat anything after dinner other than one healthy snack. (That could be a delicious wholegrain cereal with milk, grapefruit, baked apple or other fruit or yogurt. So many things I like that would be a good choice), or no snack if not hungry.)

4. Go to bed before midnight and the earlier (10-11) the better. (I don't eat all day because I feel better on an empty stomach and then I eat all night once I have dinner. But staying up late is the worst thing... because then I am eating into the wee hours of the morning.)

5. Exercise... (doesn't have to be a marathon... just get moving. I have an unused Y membership. I LOVE to swim!(low impact and good for cardiovascular and muscle) They also have a program with a personal trainer to use the equipment. I live in a beautiful country area for walking. I do have knee issues... but the more I lose.. the better I feel. I carried a whole watermelon in from the garden last week and couldn't believe how much more my knees hurt. That demonstrated how much weight impacts knee pain.

There are probably more things but those are the basics for me.

My joke is that if I get a day job... I will lose weight because I will have to go to bed early... hence would not be eating at night. :)

So... I can talk about this till the cows come home... navel gaze ad nauseam and I am certainly able to talk/write... but at this point words without action is futile.

ACTION ...A-C-T-I-O-N is what will make the difference now!

I know what I have to do and so just DO IT ...DARN IT!!!

*Maybe for my next post I'll put a pic up from when I was seventeen and thought I was fat. I was not. But I again took diet pills and starved myself and probably screwed up my metabolism.

And then young girls today... they do have better information about nutrition ... but most people are tempted for the quick/artificial fixes that do not promote long term weight loss... but set them up for a life time of yo-yoing on the scales.

Oh... and coming back to the urology for a moment... the ureteral reconstructive surgery wouldn't be as high risk either... if I achieved my normal, God designed weight loss for my body construction. I am really curious to know what that is. Not what the charts say... but what is right for my body.

I'll write about the urology procedure soon.

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