Friday, November 27, 2009

Family and Thoughts

I hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving. :)

We had an enjoyable day over at my m-i-l's house.

We were blessed with lot's of good company and good food. We missed the relatives that aren't with us anymore and enjoyed having our newest granddaughter, Wrenna with us for her first Thanksgiving.

Can you imagine that? Being so fresh from God and living on this planet for only 6 months? Her first Thanksgiving and her first Christmas and all the firsts to come. What a joy it is to see through a child's eyes. :)

And it was a joy sharing Thanksgiving with our other granddaughter, Devan, our sons and d-i-l and everyone else. We are all so busy these days.. that it seems we only see the extended family at holidays or special occasions.

For most of my married life all of our celebrations have been mostly with my husband's family because my family doesn't live in the area and for whatever reason.. our parents didn't get together on a regular basis and so we cousins are probably even more distant.

I don't know why my family wasn't as bonded. I KNOW they loved each other and I do LOVE my cousins .. but no one ever gets together. We have very separate lives. I too have been remiss in keeping up contact.

I know much more about my husband's family than my own cousin's lives. I only have 4 cousins. Lee (her husband John), Nancy, Sandy and her son Joshua. That's it for blood relatives on my side. There are no older relatives now.

Actually .. I know I do have a large family on my maternal side ..but as I said.. the older generations let relationships slide and so I don't know any of them. And when my mother left my father and broke all communication with his side of the family..I missed out on getting to know all of them.. and there are a lot of cousins.

But.. it is my husband's family that has taken me in as their own. I have often joked that marrying into his family was like marrying into he Walton's because they were a large, loving family. I have learned a lot from them and believe that their influence has been one of the major influences inspiring me to be a better parent than I otherwise would have been.

My cousins because of unplanned circumstances..weren't able to be at my mother's memorial.. but my husband's family was there. While I understood why they couldn't be there.. and even though we don't see each other for years sometimes...I missed them greatly. I can't even explain why. Maybe sometime I will try.

But in the end.. I think that no matter how much time and distance separates us from our families .. no one can fill the void of their absence. Family is important.

I found myself really looking and listening to our relatives yesterday. I was trying to take in everything about them and I was so appreciative of who they have been in my past and what they mean to me now. I know we don't have forever and I just wanted to savor every moment with all of them. I felt very blessed. :)

On the way home.. still feeling the warm glow of the Thanksgiving day just celebrated... I asked my husband "Do you ever think about .. in a sentimental way.. how blessed you are to have all of your family around you... do you think of it in a home and hearth does your heart fill up with appreciation for family and how enriched your life has been because of it?

He said "No."

"NO? Okay..maybe I am thinking like a girl and being all sentimental ..but seriously.. you don't get thoughts like that when you look around?"

"No..I don't get sentimental."

"Well must feel something? I'll bet you appreciated everyone when you were in Vietnam? You must think something?"

"No ..I don't and don't judge me."

"I'm NOT judging you! I was just wondering if you get the same warm feelings I do... but maybe I am just being girly. I just think you must have warm feelings for more than just the turkey!"

"Yeah.. I love everybody..but I don't THINK about it!"

"Okay so I am just thinking like a female ..but I'll bet other men like writers, poets and some blogging doctors think with feelings."

We pulled into the driveway and that was the end of that ... what must've felt like an inquisition to him. In his mind..he was probably expecting the flood light to shine in his face at any second. :)

Mr SeaSpray hates when I get into these kinds of conversations. I am the *feeling*(yet analytical) personality and so perfectly logical to me.. but not his cup of tea. LOL!

Actually.. he reacts just like men do when you ask them their opinion of how you look. They have that freeze.. deer in the headlights moment while they process how to answer and try to answer with an evasive noncommittal one. :)

Mr SeaSpray has always been very committed to family .. but is not one to speak about feelings. That's okay.. because in the end ..actions speak louder than words. That little conversation was a good demonstration between the male vs female brain. I still think we have the same feelings..they just come out differently.

So.. it was a very nice Thanksgiving day and I loved being with everyone, but I also am missing my maternal side of my family. As I said.. I too have been remiss in keeping up communications and so I am going to make a better effort to get together with my cousins too.

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