Thursday, December 3, 2009
I'd RATHER be NAKED and getting a PAP TEST
Steve Martin & John Candy "going the wrong way" highway scene in Planes, Trains and Automobiles. (The highway scene is one of my favorite scenes in movie. Steve Martin having to pry his fingers out of the dash board after having gripped it so hard while experiencing dire fear connects to this post. :)
I was a whirlwind heading out the door this morning, but on my way out the door I stopped and blurted out to Mr SeaSpray who was home today for an early lunch... "I'd RATHER be NAKED and getting a PAP TEST then doing this!! I'd RATHER be doing any thing than this.. well not a stent removal..but definitely NAKED and a PAP TEST!!! I HATE going to the dentist!!!"
Then out I went.
I didn't give him a chance to respond. Not that there is any response.. but I wonder what he thought? Well he knows how much I hate going to see the dentist.
And it wasn't even the dentist. I was only having my check-up and cleaning with the hygienist.
But ..they use those instruments of torture that they probe with and scrape and then the pasty cleaning stuff -procedure tickles. I feel like a Mrs Jeckyl/Hyde in the chair. The perk is the room is decorated for children (Disney always makes me happy :) and there is a big window and so I like being able to see outside, although the windows in the other rooms are much better because you can see pretty fields, birds and the weather.
The entire day of the appointment I have this abject fear building in me until I am at the check out desk.
The worst pain I ever had there was when the dentist while working on a root canal ..hit a nerve. Instant tears and I cried out... and I was really mad at him but didn't let on ..other then maybe the scowl that would've been irrepressible.
I did the exact same thing with my first two ureteral stent removals. Tears ..in an instant reflexive action while simultaneously crying out. I would categorize both the ureteral stent removal and hitting a nerve in a molar at the same pain level... a TEN on the pain scale chart.
The only thing worse .. but would still be a 10 pain..would be to pull the ureteral stent out through the exposed nerve in the tooth. Fortunately ..that won't happen ..I'm just sayin.
My fingers were pressing so hard into the chair arms and she was only taking the x-rays! I'm kidding. :)
But they were pressing really hard into the chair arms when she was probing ..because that's how I handle the mounting fear. I gouge the chair arms. It's like being in a game of Russian Roulette. You never know which probe with that probing instrument of torture thingy.. is going to cause you to want to eject up and out of the seat, right on through the ceiling and through the roof like some cartoon character. Gripping the chair keeps you grounded and yet somehow helps brace against the pain...along with barely breathing as you wait in dreaded anticipation.
I've heard tensing your body makes it worse but I can't exactly do breathing exercises to try to relax and override any uncomfortable sensations. I'd be hyperventilating before she finished and I don't think it will work anyway with that water tool in my mouth ..could get pretty ..WET.
Breathing rhythmically would help though.
As I reclined almost upside down (stent felt good) ..with my eyes closed .. I was thinking that I wished they just gave me that happy gas or whatever they do. Just knock me out completely and they could do whatever they want. heck ..they could hang me upside down from the ceiling and let raccoons lick my face for a prep and I wouldn't care... but this being awake for these dental procedures is just not fun. Novocains don't bother me. It is that awful, really intense tooth stuff they do that is so unnerving ..no pun intended.
Fortunately..today..she only hit one sensitive spot... although the water in the cleaning tool was really hot at one point. But then I still had to make it past the dentist who comes in and does his own probing and for some reason is more adept at evoking the extreme responses from me. However ..today.. he didn't do any of that... maybe because he knew I was coming back. :)
I told him I'd rather be getting a pap and he laughed and said "Not today..we have to schedule that in." LOL!
Unfortunately..I have to go back Tuesday for TWO fillings. How can that be? I use an electronic tooth brush, floss and mouth wash ... oh and never drink soda. I am good about brushing. My cousin says we have soft teeth. I don't know if that is a real dental condition though.
I told him that next week ..I don't care if I have a lot of stuff in my mouth and can't talk ..I want him to give me his opinion about all the politics going on right now. ( We've had some interesting political discussions when time allowed and his political monologue will get my mind of the dental work. :)
Ha! Once I told him "You're LUCKY I didn't BITE you!" He said "That's okay ..I'd bite you back." :)
So..I survived the cleaning appointment .. but Mr SeaSpray actually had to go in and have a tooth pulled tonight. I should say ..Mr SeaSpray ..aka Mr stoic .. who puts me to shame. I enjoyed listening to him talk after coming home. Too funny when all numbed up! :)
I asked how the appointment went..feeling really bad for him. He said "It was nothing. I didn't even know he pulled the tooth out! I told him I didn't know he pulled the tooth out and he (the dentist) said "I didn't know I pulled it out either."
That's funny! :)
* * * I very much appreciate dentists and all the work they do so that we can maintain good dental health, for fixing dental emergencies and so we can have nice teeth. :)