Sunday, December 20, 2009

" Merry CHRISTMAS!! GRRR!! " :) (revised)

I mentioned in the previous post that I cheerily delivered a Christmas food basket to my doctor's office the other day. I LOVE Christmas so much! People said Merry Christmas in the Lobby and in the elevator and of course we all said it in the doctor's office.

*One of my favorite parts (there are many) in the movie "It's a Wonderful Life" is where at the end Jimmy Stewart is both gleefully and gratefully running around Bedford Falls in the falling snow shouting "Merry Christmas!" all the way to his home. (I wanted to live in Bedford Falls :)

I wonder if I have Christmas genes coursing through my veins? Anytime I have labs drawn in December and the techs tell me they see miniature reindeer in my blood and that the're especially easy to detect because the of the festive red glow in the vials. Rudolph? Hmmm ...I wonder if there is an ICD-9 code for that? What is the diagnosis?

But I digress ... my point is that it's a wonderful spiritual holiday (original meaning) and fun to to participate in the festivities of the season. Anger is the last thing that would ever run through my 'visions of sugar-plums dancing through my head" brain. It is a foreign concept at Christmas... well except for thoughts of an enforced PC Christmas where the original meaning of the Christmas Holiday is sanitized or you are met with silence if you dare to say Merry Christmas because people don't know how to respond. Or politics can put a damper on it and so it's important to flip to the Christmas music instead. And even those things would not cause me to lash out at another person ..SQUAWKING in a shrill voice. YIKES!

So ...after leaving the office ...I headed down to Costco to pick up some things for Christmas dinner and some presents. The parking lot was packed, but I held out hope there might be an open spot close to the store and sure enough I found one.

Luckily a woman was just walking up to her car (parked in a great spot) to unload her items. I lowered my window, said "Hi!" and said that I would take her carriage and could she please put it behind the car right next to her. She smiled back and said "Sure!" (Saved her the trouble of bringing it back and ensured that I would have a carriage because when it's packed like that..carriages can be scarce.)

She got in her car and was getting ready to leave..when this other woman and young girl come walking up ..and wouldn't you know it...the carriage was behind HER car. "No big deal, the woman is leaving.", I erroneously think.

Not exACTly. This woman walking up began SQUAWKING...I kid you not SQUAWKING "Who the h*** would leave a shopping carriage behind someone's car?!! You DON"T leave a carriage there!" She was SQUAWKING ..and if she was a real bird..her wings would be flapping and her body would be lifting off and landing repeatedly. She really morphed (in my mind's eye) ...into a little black bird flapping her wings while rising up and down on the pavement. ;)

Okay.. I understand.. it would seem to be a rude thing to do or thoughtless. I was just about to explain, when the woman backing out ... lowered her car window and said she put it there.

(For the first time I am chuckling about this as I type because I can just imagine how apoplectic SQUAWKING woman's brain was becoming in those seconds ... (LOL!) as her mind was attempting to compute the fact that not only did this woman admit to leaving it there ..behind HER car, but is cheerily admitting it and backing out to LEAVE!!!)

SQUAWKING woman's back was to me now and I couldn't hear everything she was yelling (She was really yelling but sounded like squawking because of the pitch), but it wasn't fair for her to be yelling at this other nice woman when she had responded to MY request to leave the carriage there. Btw ..what are the odds ..that in that whole parking lot of PACKED cars...this would be the car that the owner comes out to at that moment? Maybe I should've gone out and bought a lottery ticket.? I'm just sayin.

Anyway ... Quickly(cheerily) came to the aid of nice woman and in a friendly voice said "Excuse me? I'm sorry ... she was helping me." "I DON"T CARE!" "No you don't understand, *I* ASKED her to put it there." "She could've put it over there!" (She gestured toward in between the two vehicles. I had initially thought of that but then thought that I might not be able to pull in easily. I didn't know how much space was between the two cars) Admittedly in a now frustrated tone I said "I didn't know if it would fit for me to get around. She's leaving right now!"

SQUAWKING woman SQUAWKED some more but I zoned out because the other woman backed out and then with a big smile she said a purposeful directed at me with a smile "Merry Christmas!" I said "Merry Christmas to you too and THANK you!" She drove away.

Then I only had eyes to pull into that spot. Oh and there was a carriage in between our two vehicles and so putting a second carriage there would've gotten in the way of pulling in.

I opened the car door without getting my purse because I just wanted to get the carriage away from the back of her car and she was still SQUAWKING about us "Making a BIG deal about it!" (REALLY? WE were making a BIG deal? I didn't say that though.) "Well you were mad.?", I said.

And then as I go to get the carriage which she had pushed behind the car on the other side of me (I guess using her logic THAT was logical?), She SQUAWKED "I WAS NOT MAD!"

Then seeing the carriage was alright behind the other car I went back to get my purse (my back was to her), I reached in to pick it up and in the most SHRILL voice she angrily SQUAWKED "Merry CHRISTMAS! MERRY CHRISTMAS!", as she stomped (okay stomped is an assumption on my part but I bet she did), to her side of the car.

I ignored her.. didn't even look at her. I did notice the daughter sitting with a poker face in the front seat staring straight ahead and I felt sorry for her. I would've smiled sweetly at her if she had looked my way.

I was so glad to just get away from that woman though. And she didn't come out with stuff to unload into her car. I guess she just wanted to zip right out of there ..understandably ..but her tirade slowed us all down. I honestly didn't think I did anything wrong by asking the other woman to place the carriage there. If that were me coming up to my car..I might be a bit irked at the insensitivity to leave a carriage there but not mad. And certainly ..the second the lady explained.. I'd smile and say "No problem I'll put it right here for you." :)

No wonder we don't have world peace! If even these little things set us off. ???

Maybe she was PMS-ing. Or Peri-menopausal... having some hormonal assault on her brain.

Or maybe a loved one died, she didn't have money for Christmas or some other sad event in her life. Maybe she was struggling ..seriously struggling with something important and that carriage was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.

I remember a time when I was the young girl quietly sitting on the passenger's side of my mother's car. I remember her coming back to the car and breaking down and sobbing because the check from our aunt from Florida wouldn't clear for 3 days.. and we didn't have any food.

So..we never know what is really going on with people.

I am an eye contact person and I never wear my glasses or contacts except for driving. So..unless I am up close to you..I can't really see your eyes. I can see you have eyes and maybe the color, but I mean your pupils and what feelings are going on with you ..unless I am right there... I can't read your eyes.

Maybe if I had been closer to her..I would've seen something besides the anger. ?

Hindsight being 20-20 ... I wish I had walked over to her and looked right into her eyes and just said a heart felt "I am sorry and we didn't intend to cause a problem for you", and then wished her well.

And if I am really honest about this... I do think the nice woman and I did mean to wish each other "Merry Christmas" .... b-u-t ..there was a hint of sarcasm in our voices as we united in in our effort to make the point "It's CHRISTMAS lady - lighten up!" And no doubt that exacerbated the woman's temper and perhaps caused her to try to save face and the only way she knew to do it was to yell more. Of course..she also could've said .."Hey ladies..I'm sorry ..rough day."

I am not proud that I used Christmas as the conduit for the sarcasm pointed at her either. And emotions can run high for many of us during the holiday season.

On a lighter note... the last thing I had to pick up was the cat litter which I think weighed forty ponds. I am not supposed to pick up more than 20 or 25lbs with this ureteral stent in. So I did hang out by the cat litter until a man came by.

I stopped him and asked if he could please lift the big cat litter container into the cart for me because I wasn't supposed to lift more than 20lbs right now. He graciously hoisted it into my cart. (Gotta just love men and their muscles ;) He asked "What are you gonna do when you get to your car?" I said "Oh ..I'll wait for another nice man to come by." :) We both laughed and I thanked him. :)

Then ..when I got out to my car ..there were no men ..anywhere to be seen. But next to me there was another girl and her mother older girl. She walked their carriage back and I stopped her and asked if she could please help me lift this into the back. She graciously agreed and I said "1,2,3" and together we lifted it in. I thanked her, we wished each other a Merry Christmas and I left after they did.

*Even though I was annoyed at this woman and thought she acted ridiculously .. we just don't know what is really going on under the surface of what we are able to see. Maybe that was the real her... a shrill squawker. But I missed an opportunity... when I could've walked over to her and kindly wish her well. It might've helped her in some way.. or not. But apparently my self preservation mode took over and I really just wanted to get away.

Regardless ..I really do hope she is alright and that she really does have a good Christmas.


Chrysalis Angel said...

You are right, Seaspray. We just never know what is going on with another.

I came across something tonight that just made me bow my head and cry. We will all have something in this life, and then we'll have something else, and something else. It's tough though, to understand one an other when someone is lashing out at you. Most of us would have reacted the way you both did. It's easier to see the pain and anguish if there are tears or a slumping of the shoulders. It's more difficult to understand it, when it's coming out as anger.

SeaSpray said...

You are exactly right Angel. Well said. When we're in the moment, it's sometimes hard to react the way we should. I do wish I had thought of it sooner though.

Merry Christmas! ;)