Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Standing, Talking, Cold, Wet and NEKKID!!


This post was inspired by StorytellERdoc's current post. I realized that my increasingly lengthy comment could be a post and so here it is. Thanks for the inspiration Jim! :)

When I was 25, I once had to talk with someone ...a doctor ...while standing nekkid and I was cold too. Not only was I cold ..but I was wet ..dripping wet. I also felt like a Sumo wrestler ..female version ..because I had recently given birth to our 1st son via c-section and it was the first time I was able to take a shower.

The nurse had covered my still swollen belly with plastic taped onto me because I had the vertical c-section incision (up toward my navel) that needed to be protected. That was the *only* covering I had, if you could call it that because even the plastic was transparent! My head! My head was covered by hair. That was my only covering because even Bajingoland had been shaved in the prep. I'm just sayin. I don't know how they prep women today ..but in 1980 they shaved me everywhere... well okay it was my stomach ..in case I had a C-section.

I was actually scared my little light soft feminine hair would come in all virile from shaving and I'd be hairy ..seriously SASQUATCH HAIRY when it grew back! Oh and what nurse with any common sense says to a very pregnant woman in labor ...with strong hormones coursing through her body .."You're a HAIRY lady!"? In retrospect ..maybe she had a secret death wish. ? And for the record ..I didn't turn into a HAIRY SASQUATCH. So loose that image please. Thank you very much! :)

It was on a Wednesday morning ...August 20th, 1980, to be exact... when I decided I was up to taking my first shower after the c-section. I went in right after breakfast. I had no sooner stepped out of the shower ...when the bathroom door opened and much to my surprise and dismay ...there was my son's pediatrician. He was on his morning rounds and his morning rounds brought him to me, standing in the doorway. He didn't say "Excuse me ..I''ll give you a minute." and back out closing the door for me. And I didn't even shriek or ask him to leave, asking him for a minute to get covered up. My robe was on the back of the door ..that he was now holding open!

This was the first time I met him. What a first impression ..nekkid ...specifically ... dripping wet ..cold ..nekkid, sporting only the see through plastic on my swollen sumo wrestler belly. I'm a friendly hand shake kind of girl ..always was ..but we didn't shake hands that morning. I assume it was because I was wet and/or nekkid. Given the circumstances ..while I listened attentively (new mom trying to soak everything up - no pun intended), I wasn't my usual congenial self. I did converse ..but I really was the proverbial deer in the headlights physically and emotionally had a dual dialog of mortification going on in my head. Funny how our brains can do that. You hear and converse with the other person ..but under stress, there is this whole other conversation with images going on in your head... at least it works that way for me anyway.

I didn't know what to do and so I stood there talking with him ..too shy ..okay definitely MORTIFIED ... and too deep into freeze mode (emotionally and physically/temperature wise) to even grab the towel.. or ask to get my robe behind the door.

I just stood there ... looking up at him while conversing with him about our new son. It was humiliating and awkward and I was wondering what he was thinking. Perhaps he was in a rush and just trying to get rounds finished. Or perhaps once he was already in ..he figured he should just commit to the conversation. Also ..maybe for him ..he was used to being around the nekkid new mothers and so for him it was just shop.

However ...he really should have been more sensitive to my feelings and right to privacy. I don't think back in 1980, medical people thought in terms of right to privacy anywhere near as much as they do today. But common sense should've kicked in. Maybe he thought that since I didn't say anything it was alright. It wasn't though.

I never imagined my son's pediatrician would see me nekkid ..that is for sure. And actually, he was very nice and turned out to be my favorite doctor in that group.

But let me tell you ..standing ..talking ...while cold, dripping wet and NEKKID with a post c-section swollen, Sumo wrestler, shaved, plastic covered taped belly opposite someone of the opposite sex ..that you are meeting for the first time ...even if he is a doctor ..is not exactly the best way to start out your day. I'm just sayin. :)

(Not like the 2nd, 3rd or 10th time would be any better :)


Chrysalis Angel said...

Geesh, man! A gentleman would have handed you the robe! (or would he...)Just joking.;)
That's a heck of a way to carry on a conversation.

SeaSpray said...
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SeaSpray said...
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Chrysalis Angel said...

TMI, Spray!

SeaSpray said...
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SeaSpray said...

Thanks!I removed it from comments Angel. Ha! You;re my guardian Angel! :)

StorytellERdoc said...

Bajingoland??? "Hairy Sasquatch"? Oh no, I think a beast has been unleashed!!! Seriously funny stuff here, SS, and I think from now on I too will conduct all my patient interviews in a bathroom with a shower stall! Great post.

SeaSpray said...

Don't forget the NEKKID Jim...the cold, wet nekkid for full effect is all I'm saying.

Jim, you said "Seriously funny stuff here, SS" and you made my day with that comment.

I always worry people might think I am overboard or embellishing.. (only when I say my whizzie winkles are pretty because they sparkle) otherwise ..it happened to me.

I was Lucy in the uro office waiting room a couple of days ago. :)

Thanks Jim!

Chrysalis Angel said...

Okay, doll - what's up? How is your friend doing? You don't have to divulge personal info, but I know you had one that wasn't doing so well for a bit there.

I'm just checking in on you.

SeaSpray said...

Hi Angel - The friend is PS. Her elderly mother has been to the ED 3 times now, is 86. I'm sure she'd appreciate an e-mail of support and not mind hearing from you if you have time...or are able to.

They can't find anything wrong except potassium was real low. But there are concerns.

personally ..I think she needs to be admitted and they need to get to the bottom of the other serious complaints. This woman is intelligent, not an abuser of the system and called 911 on herself. She's frail because she is hardly eating because she can't.

At 86 ..her system is already compromised and needs her strength.

It is so difficult when you are an only child and you have a stubborn elderly parent! At least with siblings ..maybe the numbers would rule.

Speaking of numbers...did you see survivor? What an intense game!

Chrysalis Angel said...

Will do, on PS. It is a very hard thing.

I saw some of that show. Rob just cracked me up when he said, "Man up." to coach. I had to laugh. There is just something about that guy. I actually like him.

Glad you are doing all right over there. You know I can't have you getting into any of your Loo-cie moments. ;)

Lockup Doc said...

Gee, even a Bajingolandologist would know better than to start talking to you when you didn't have any clothes on. This guy wasn't even your doctor!Since it happened you've probably thought of 100 things you wish you'd said...

SeaSpray said...

Bagingolandologist!THAT'S funny!True,he wasn't my doc.I was naive and just thought of him as a doctor and while embarrassed,I didn't think much of it. I did tell a couple of friends but joked about feeling like a sumo wrestler. I wasn't mad at all and didn't dwell on it. So actually I never thought of anything. I was preoccupied as a first time mom and more worried about knowing how to change a diaper and bathe our baby.

I never complained.

Today ..I'd say excuse me ..let me dry off and get my robe on first. I wonder if with hippa he'd know to back off and give me time? And you're right ..it is weird in that at least your doc knows you but a stranger? And he should've apologized too. But hindsight is 20-20.

When I was younger ..I never thought of male doctors as men. I only saw them as medical doctors thinking about medicine and is probably why I didn't react more strongly. And I also thought that whatever a doctor did was the right thing to do... the protocol, etc. it never occurred to me to question anything.

LOL! Bajingolandologist! I may use that sometime if okay with you. :)

Thanks for stopping by Lockup Doc! :)

Chrysalis Angel said...
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Chrysalis Angel said...

Lol! Bajingolandologist! Why, Lockup Doc, I didn't know you had it in you. ha,ha. I sat down for my morning tea and read that, and burst out laughing.

But then I thought...Oh, no, don't encourage her. You just don't know...ha,ha, (I'm busting on you, Seaspray.);)

(Had to add some commas.)

Lockup Doc said...

Please, use it freely! (Jim please use it, too, in your ER stories). I'd love to see a post with that word in the title!

Chrysalis Angel said...

You're incorrigible. Hmm, interesting.

Wake up, Spray! It's on your head, Lockup.

SeaSpray said...

Too late Angel! Bajinolandologist has been in my head all day. ;)

SeaSpray said...

Oh I will Lockup Doc ..I will. :)

I tried to leave a comment last night in your blog a long one and I had to answer some blogger question and it all disappeared. I will try again.