Wednesday, April 21, 2010
The Anesthesia Made Me Do It ! (Part I)
I have often worried about my behavior while under the influence of anesthesia and have written often about said concerns. My greatest concern being just a little too breezy in the OR or possibly in recovery. Well ..I also have physical concerns in recovery ..but that is for another post.
I would be mortified to know I breezily divulged secrets ..or said someone was ...well you know ..you don't want to publicly announce your opinions of anyone ..in front of anyone ...if you would not want to do it without benefit of the pre-op and OR drugs.
I have a feeling I may have been breezy ..because I do distinctly remember one trip to the OR in which I already had Morphine in me. I remember everything about that night. I remember the happenings in my room before being wheeled down and I remember waiting in the pre-op area ..watching the staff getting ready ...and I even remember just up to the point I was put out.
Well ..between being transported from my room and down to the OR .. I found out the transporter and I had a mutual person in common. I lit up and said I LOVED that person!! :)
Well ..wasn't that special?! Except I did not and do not LOVE that person. I like them ...sort of ..but I certainly do not LOVE them!
So ... it was the MORPHINE!
NOT even under the influence of the anesthesia YET!
What the heck have I said when under THAT influence???! Or DONE???!
It is something I will never know ..because they won't tell you and that bugs me ..because I cannot stand to know someone knows something about *me* that I don't know ...and I cannot stand to know that I am not in control of my own thoughts ..or body ...and even worse that I can't remember a thing.
Fortunately, I don't usually think of these things ..but I have OR thoughts on my mind and so my little breezy concerns come flooding in. I have a thing about surrendering my mind to a substance and other people. I admit it ..I like to be in control. I'm just saying.
I have always been afraid that the anesthetics would act as a truth serum and with no holds barred ...I'd say whatever thought came into my brain.
Just think of all the things you REALLY think in any given situation ...around certain people ... and then BREEZILY BLURT said thoughts out for everyone's entertainment or possibly horror. Yeah ..I KNOW ..ALARMING! But ... apparently ..these drugs can even cause you to say and do things that are NOT true.
That night on the way to the OR is PROOF that drugs do alter your truth perceptions... and thus are not necessarily *truth* serum.
I'm just saying.
Part II will be about a more recent post anesthesia experience.
Here is another perspective on being an OR patient.
Here is one of my newbie blogger posts about being breezy in the OR.
And here is one on Breezyaphobia