Sunday, November 14, 2010

My 4th Blogaversary (November 13th) - Past, Present and Future

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Yesterday was my 4th blogaversary already. Wow ..time does fly when you're having fun. :)

That being said ...I am having a hard time blogging lately. I find myself second guessing what I write. I wonder if it's interesting to others or funny? I wonder if my writing about reality ...but shifting gears into what I think is humorous fiction is as funny to you as it is to me? Or do y'all think, "That girl needs to talk to someone!" ??? ;)

Aside from the fact that I have enjoyed writing as far back as second grade, this blog has been cathartic for me in dealing with some medical issues ..more specifically ..the urology issues. Although ..I've vented about the other appointments, procedures too.

And speaking of venting ...sometimes the crazier the fantasy ...the more I am blowing off steam regarding something else. Hey some people get high or drunk ...I write a story. Or maybe it is an undiagnosed ADHD kicking in. ?? ;) Okay and I do have a zany imagination sometimes.

Like JD in Scrubs ...he is always imagining crazy scenarios ...well, sometimes I am like that when I write. And then I worry because I have mentioned Bajingoland and turquoise glitter, Throckmortons - okay the Throckmorton salad bar test(Thank you Trench Doc) is forever one of the funniest things ever :) and the girls and things like that and lots of urine posts, that maybe it gives the wrong impression and I certainly do not mean to do that. Although ...I really do have pretty sparkling whizzie winkles ...just ask my urologists. ;) See ..I can't help it - it just comes out ..not the pretty whizzie winkles (well they do too when the plumbing is working right ..hmmm and um when it's not.), but my goofy humor. It just ties into some crazy thing that happened or I was influenced by.

I was 15 years old the first time I wrote something humorous. It was for my sophomore English class. True to form -my being a last minute ..under the wire girl and all ...I was writing it the night before the short story was due. And actually ...it was one of the saddest days in my teenage life because a boy had broken up with me that afternoon and I was crushed. No explanation. But he was 4 yrs older ...already in college and had to come up on the weekends from Queens to the Lake to see me. I say that with adult insight and maybe a couple of other thoughts about it too. He wanted to stay friends and we did.

I was inconsolable. Again ..with adult insight looking back ...I think I was also crushed because my Mom had sent me away ..to live up here with her brother only 10 months earlier and no doubt that rejection triggered what was a monumental sense of rejection and loss deep within me ...even though I wasn't aware of any of the psychological implications. No Phil Donahue/Oprah or Dr Phils to enlighten in 1970.

I cried all day. I also went to a friends house in another lake and then stayed to have dinner with them. Afterward, I decided to write my English assignment. So there I was at their dining room table with the family activities all around me and a broken heart.

I wrote a comedy.

I wish I could remember it all.

It was called "The L.A.D.S."

That was the acronym for the "Life After Death Society", and the story took place in heaven. I remember there was a heavy set angel named Horace and there were also people. Food was non caloric. And there was a banquet table set up and there was humorous conversation between the angels and humans - new arrivals to heaven. And they were eating.

Unfortunately, I don't remember most of it.

We all had to read our stories for the class. I read mine. The teacher laughed. The class laughed. And I was happy they liked it. After I finished, the teacher enthusiastically told me I got an A on it and that she really liked it. Then she asked me if she could have it. I never saw it again. I wish I had thought to ask for it back or at least for her to make a copy and give it back. She never told me what she did with it and I didn't even think to ask. I forgot about it.

That was the last time I wrote anything humorous until I wrote a long ..but funny poem for our anniversary one year back in the late 70s. And then not until I began blogging in 2006. But, over the years ...I have written in journals, notebooks and on napkins or anything that would allow me to write a thought down. I am slowly but surely getting things cleaned out as I do this major cleaning out and organizing task and it has been interesting to read things I wrote years ago and to see how things have changed ..or haven't.

And it really helped me to write about my mother ...when she became ill and then declined while in the nursing home and even after her death. It was truly cathartic. And many of you were supportive either in the comments or and/or e-mail and it meant a lot to me.

Blogging has been a most positive experience and I have grown through it as well. I've also enjoyed reading and commenting in your blogs, although I have am behind in that right now too.

I don't know why I keep second guessing myself regarding the posts I write lately ...but here I am already thinking of not posting this one. Maybe it is a sign that I should take a major break from it. And I do have some personal distractions right now.

Anyway ...four years ...a lot has happened in these last four years.

Blogging is here to stay with me. I do love it. And in the end ...I guess we bloggers are really writing for ourselves. But is is fun to know other people enjoy your writing too. Actually ..I think it's amazing! Thank you to those of you who have followed my blog. Welcome to the new readers.

May we all have many more blogoversaries to come. :)

6 comments:

Chrysalis Angel said...

Happy Anniversary, Seaspray!!

Just write what you want to. Your zaniness makes me chuckle. You're sweet, kind and you bring some light hearted humor into our lives.

SeaSpray said...

Thanks Angel. :)

WarmSocks said...

Happy blogiversary. :)

I agree with Chrysalis. It's your blog; write what you want.

Dr Synonymous said...

Happy Blogaversary,
Your name SeaSpray makes me think of great times with family at Myrtle Beach. Your words are uplifting with honesty.
The 5th blogaversary will be here before you know it. Blog on!

rlbates said...

Happy Blogiversary, SeaSpray!

SeaSpray said...

Thank you Dr Synonymous, Warm Socks and Ramona. :)

I know some bloggers go dormant after a few years. I will keep blogging. I think I am distracted. And restless.

I think if I can accomplish some goals ..I will relax more.

I don't know if other writers do this ...but I have to feel the post. Not all ..but the ones I put effort into. And lately ..I feel it when writing and then don't *after posting*. It's a phase. And I am distracted. And the surgery is still on the table ..no pun intended. Although I am opting for another ..larger stent one LAST time. I need the time. And ..yes ..still praying, believing for the miracle and am working on my faith ..not just for a miracle healing ..but for acceptance if that is my destined path.

This stuff is a constant undercurrent and so is perhaps my main distraction.

Blogging is fun. My feelings/creativity challenged lately.

Thanks all for the encouragement.

Dr Synonymous - beach memories are some of the best! :)

Most people probably think of SeaSpray as the water that shoots up with pressure. Actually, when I went with the name ..I was recalling the pleasure of lying down near where the waves break and feeling the gentle mist from the crashing waves land my face. SeaMist. Or maybe it is the last traces of the spray. :)