Saturday, December 4, 2010

The Honeymoon is Over!

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2102/2186636250_b14be660a8.jpg

You haven't lived until you've pulled something out of your dog's butt. Yes ..I said that. I'll come back to it.

Suffice it to know that our sweet puppy ...as amazing as she is ... crossed the line when she chewed up my prescription glasses this morning! (I had left them on the end table next to the sofa in the family room) No ..I didn't yell at her because we didn't catch her in the act and I've heard that dogs don't know why you are upset because they quickly forget what they did wrong. To make the connection ..your reprimand has to be within seconds of the undesired act.

Oh and the sofa ..specifically the love seat ...last night she chewed the foam stuffing out of a section on the foot rest part. Why??? I stuffed it back in. I don't know how to repair it though. :(

I have come to terms with the fact that her main mission in life ...next to playing with anything and everything (which we love about her - her antics are hilarious) ..is to secure the cat food any way she can. She is relentless. She's cunning. She lies in wait for the very second we are distracted ..and then with lightening speed ...comes in for the inhale.

We probably should not laugh when she comes out with one of our shoes. And I probably should not have given back Mr SeaSpray's chewed up slipper for her to totally annihilate. She has a chew bone and several toys. What is it about the shoes?

But I have to tell you ...that I draw the line at canine roto rooter service after having to pull a stream of paper towels out of her butt last night! The honeymoon was on shaky ground right then.

But this morning ...let me tell you ...the glasses ...finalized it.
PRESCRIPTION glasses!

Honeymoon OVER!

Son brought them to me. I exclaimed "OH NO!" Then I just stared at them in disbelief before I even reached out for them.

Son remained silent.

I looked up at him and back at the glasses. I took them into my hands ...still in disbelief. She even chewed the part that goes over the ears. But one side wasn't good enough. No ... evidently, she's an equal opportunity chewer. One side still had the curve for over the ear...although chewed down to the bare metal. The other side was mangled kind of straight.

The lenses had scratches and what I thought were droplets of spit.

Son still silent ...not saying a word.

In utter frustration ... I looked into the family room to see where the chewing canine machine was and of course was nowhere to be seen. I looked back at son ...opened my mouth to say something ...anything ..but I was speechless and just looked back down at the glasses.

Then I put them on ...just in case I could still use them at home. I looked up at son ..trying to see him through the destruction

Then... son LAUGHED!

It was like looking at a windshield covered with raindrops.

And there were sharp ..tiny sharp pieces of plastic poking the top of my ears ...and they were sitting all kinds of crooked. I took them off ..trying to straighten them a little more.

Then I turned toward the sink and thought maybe washing them would help.

Suffice it to know that those little raindrops that I erroneously thought were saliva ...were actually all her little tooth marks all over the lenses. She also cracked the upper corner where it fastened to the frame.

The glasses are NOT ..I repeat NOT salvageable!

I would've tried to wear them for TV though. Not gonna happen.

Thankfully ...I still have my prescription sunglasses. Oh ..you'll recognize me on the road at night as the lady who drives at night while wearing her SUNGLASSES!

Lucky for me, the only time I use them is for TV and driving. Lucky for her too!

Oh and back to the paper towel, grossest thing I have ever had to do in my entire life moment and it was freezing outside!

It was like we were a magic act and I was the magician pulling all the scarves out of the sleeve ...except it was my dog's BUTT! If only I had white gloves ...or could've made it all disappear. We were under the back yard spotlight. I wonder if any neighbors saw us?

I have learned that no one wants to see anything hanging out of their dog's butt.

This will be with me for a long time.

It is also going to make me hypervigilant with ...EVERYTHING! I thought I already was ...but apparently not. All day today ...like a new mother listening for every sound ...I've been on alert. Just now ..as I am typing ..I heard her mouthing something, called her over and she just dropped the wrapper from a roll of toilet paper, Q-tip and a cotton ball. She's got me so that I can hear the sound of her swallowing *saliva* 2 rooms away. I should sanitize this keyboard after extricating things from her mouth all day. And I've become quite proficient at the finger sweep in the back of the throat. Seriously!

Back to her BUTT. It was a stream of paper towels that I had left all connected. I know exactly what they were from. Wednesday night, after making the Turkey soup ...I took a bunch of paper towels and sopped up the remaining broth that was on the turkey platter. Then ...I discarded them, but forgot to close it back up because I went on to something else.

She is stealthy too. I was right there!

Thank God she didn't get an obstruction(why not?) and have to go to the vet for surgery ...or *I* would be in the dog house with Mr SeaSpray. (Remember - he told me NOT to bring a dog home? It doesn't matter that he loves her too. You know ..how when the kids are bad ..suddenly ..YOU are the ONLY parent because YOU conceived them ...even if you're a man ...through the immaculate conception or whatever and they are YOURS and only YOURS? YOUR son.. YOUR daughter. It would be "YOUR dog." Love has nothing to do with it. :)

I have never experienced a chewer like this. NEVER! And we've raised 3 smaller puppies and had 2 other adult dogs. I still want to get gates to close her off when we leave, but I am afraid we'll come home to massive chewed destruction. I think I'm gonna be dreaming about this stuff. She is getting *ME* trained!

Is this a phase? Tell it to me straight.

We really love her and are spoiling her so much. Lucky for her ..she has endeared herself to all of us. You'd fall for her too. :)

I was going to keep her on leash for 3 weeks as part of her training in the house because it teaches them to look to you for everything. We learned that from a personal dog trainer that we brought in for Bob because he was a very domineering, strong willed dog when he was a teenager. All of our other dogs were easy to train ..but Bob was strong willed. Keeping them with you or someone else in the house or crate them when you absolutely can't keep them at your side works so well. We became the alpha dogs and he looked to our every move. They are with you everywhere you go. For three weeks, they sit when you sit, etc and it teaches them to look to you and your every move. I started with her, but she chewed the leash. That's not why I stopped though. I stopped because she is actually very obedient and does listen and is well behaved.

But apparently not when out of site ...with the chewing. She even took an earring off my vanity. Little tiny dangling Christmas wreaths. I found the one by my computer desk, on the floor. I can't FIND the other one. ???

And I am wondering what else has gone MIA that I don't know about?

For peace of mind, I am thinking that we need to contact the TSA and see if we can get one of those airport scanners ...as a loaner ..just until she gets through this phase.

"What? Can't find your keys, my jewelery, the cat, or the door to the bedroom? Going crazee looking for something?

Scan the dog!"

Mystery solved!

And we have the Christmas tree ... sitting in a bucket of ice ...that in my perfect world will go up in the stand tomorrow night. Hundreds of ornaments ... all those dangling ornaments.

Fa-a-a la la la la la l-a-a-a .....

9 comments:

Chrysalis Angel said...

Oh my land...I can just see Mr. Seaspray now! Sorry about your glasses. Thankfully the dog didn't require medical intervention.

When they are teething they will chew on anything. They are like babies...vigilance. :) The best thing you can do is wear that puppy out. They respond well to exercise. We should ask Dr. Jeff to take that puppy on a modified run. Exercise, discipline, love.

She will grow out of this stage, but it is a challenge until they do. They will wear you out! How old is she now?

I bet Ramona would have some good tips.

SeaSpray said...

The lady at pound thought around 9 mos. Hoping vet might know. I want to get her spayed asap. praying she didn't come into heat when wondering. We adopted an old dog once and she ended up having 3 puppies.

She's a good size, just wondering how much she will grow.

She is hilarious. All our dogs were great ..but she is the funniest one ever. And I love that she is a leaner.

I am worried about leaving her alone. And I am worried about crating her. We have to buy one. She is very dependent on being with us.

But I am worried about the chewing. So far someone has always been here... and she still gets into trouble.

I was paiinting all day and night today and had a paind fiasco with her chasing the older cat when I was in the bathroom. Yellow paw prints on tile everywhere. Thought I'd die. cause so sore (still stented) and pushed myself and then this to clean up. My fault. I left the almost empty paint tray on the floor and was coming right back.

My flank and ruq so sore from straining stretching and pushing paint stick. Big kitchen. More to the story ..maybe a post.

She does get played with a lot and runs around ..but no jogging. Older son has a choc lab and he runs with her or has. She's older now.

Yeah ..I would like to cyber her right out to Jeff to run. :)

I welcome all insight. :)

And darn ..all done but one remaining wall.

I love/hate the color. depends on light or maybe just have to get used to it. :)

Chrysalis Angel said...

I'm not a fan of painting...so I feel for you. Bad enough when you feel good.

If she's 9 months, she isn't teething any longer, I wouldn't think. A vet can get a pretty good idea of how old she is. Puppies are a handful, but they are a ton of love, too.

SeaSpray said...

Oh ..then maybe she is younger ..which means she's still growing. ?

Bracing myself to finish last two walls and carefully paint with artist brush around the fire alarm.

And go back over where I see it needs another coat and paint a little vent.

Weird tho ..I like the ceiling better than the walls and all same color.

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StorytellERdoc said...

Hey SS

You brought a huge smile to my face as I read your funny, ridiculous story. Our Ruby is 4.5 years now and finally, i can leave my keys to the car on the counter again! LOL A pair of reading glasses, though? That's a skill you might need to market! LOL

Hope all is well with you!

SeaSpray said...

Hi Jim! Ruby ..what a sweet name or a dog.

I actually considered it because mom's name was Ruby, but then thought it would be bittersweet and also people might not understand why. Although Mom would've loved it.

I am glad you got a chuckle out of the post.

Driving glasses. And now I am watching TV with sunglasses until I can get to picking out new glasses. :) I do have older clear ones I always keep in the car and use for driving now.

I'm good thanks! Hope all is well with you too. :)

cyrell said...

Is it better now with your dog?

Sometimes when dog are heavily chewers they are missing nutrition.

Like with PICA when people start to eat dirt and other stuff because they miss minerals and their body tells them to eat strange things which may contain the missing nutrition.

And yes, you also made the mistake to give her old slippers to chew up...if they once get something to chew on they think all similiar things are ok too.

And no...dogs can recognize what they did wrong if you confront them with the thing they destroyed.

They are not demented..they just do not realise what they did wrong when they do not see the havoc they created.

So take the slipper,hold it in front of your dog and scold her in a growling, angry voice.

She knows the slipper/book/whatever as the thing she chewed on ..who would not recoginze the evidence wth salvia and bite marks?


I think some things come together...nutritional deficite..so make sure she has no parasites..and then feed her a couple of teaspoones with good vegetable oil every day.

Like cold pressed rapeseed oil or lineseed oil.

And buy brown algae meal..it is rich in minerals and vitamins without the risk to poison the dog like it can happen with pills.

Also dried brewers yeast is excellent.

I had it with my dog,he would chew and eat anything..i bought a box of yeast tablets and he gorged on them, snarfed down half the box in two days and then it stopped..no longer eating everything or snarfing down the yeast pills.

He got ten yeast tablets per day and we no longer had problems, he also got the oil.

He was a colli-shepherd mix and had sensitive skin and long hair..and that needs a nice ammount of micronutrition to keep healthy.


And how to train her not to chew things when you powered up her nutriton and made sure she had no parasites ....

Get some cheap slippers and other things she chews on, lay it on the ground and watch her, when she steals the things shout at her, maybe even throw a slipper or a magazine or use one of the spray collars.

They will spray water into the face of the dog when you push the controller, it will scare the dog and when you shout at her in the same moment she will learn rather fast to not to chew on things.

It will take time to teach her that she can chew on certain things and not on others, but it will work.

After two or three shout attacks you can give her a chew toy and speak nice to her until she chews away at it.

Chew toy=nice
not chew toy=cold water and bad voice

SeaSpray said...

Hi Cyrell - No ..I can't say that it is. I will be doing another post on her latest and worse destruction. Well toss up between that and my glasses. they were old and so I wasn't as upset. but this I am.

We give her Purina One dry dog food ..recommended by the vet for our last dog ..german shepherd, Bob. he thrived on it and didn't look his age at all.

We had a shepherd-collie mix once and one flea bite and she'd pull her fur out and bite to raw skin. Allergic to fleas.

Loud voice didn't impact her because I did catch her right in the act and she ran out with tail between her legs. Then next night right back at it.

i will print your suggestions out and go over them again. Thank you for sharing this info. Where do you get those collars that squirt water and are they real messy ..near wood/furniture?

Sje also got my husbands *new* slippers. I am so paranoid about where she is that I try to keep her with me ..but like even now ..she is off somewhere and I have to check. She got sons running/gym shoes, ornaments,and forget what else. The big thing was the loves seat. Now has about a 5x7 tear down to the wood/stuffing pulled out and I am beside myself.

She constantly gets into the cat food and gets other treats. She is a good eater of the purina one and a good weight.

She is also a digger. never had a dog do that. basically ..she cannot be left unsupervised.

Other than these perplexing traits ..she is a sweet, fun loving affectionate and hilarious dog. Such a good temperament.

I would be curious to know what other breed might be in her beside shepherd, because I'd love to read up on traits of those breeds.

We've had a springer spaniel (short kind), a German shepherd, border collie, shepherd -collie mix (border collie's daughter), and now this shepherd mix. I see shepherd coloring/marks, but she is smaller and shorter snout. Pound said rottweiler too, but I don't see it. I think maybe hound dog of some type, because while she barks ..she also howls when she wants her way. And she is jowely (sp?) and wrinkled brow. Cute!

I will put her pic up at some point and maybe someone can tell.

Thank you for all your input Cyrell. :)