Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Where Are We?
A couple of weeks ago, a friend and I decided we wanted to join a new group that was starting up in our church one night a week. But ...I do have a difficult time with this ureteral stent because it's a large size. And I just wasn't feeling up to it the first night the group started and so we didn't go.
Then we thought we would try again last week. I agreed, but as time got closer to leave ...I was pretty much feeling like I had been riding a big horse all day and wasn't comfortable walking or sitting. Now ...that happened because I was on my feet too long earlier, which causes added stent pressure. Just not a good feeling and puts a damper on most activities. Best laid plans ... brain willing and my bladder hollers up to me ..."Um no. Are you KIDDING? No you are NOT doing that!" Bossy bladder gets the last word with major and long lasting repetitive spasms and so wins most of the time these days. And if I ignore my bladder ...it's not long before my right flank or some other body part chimes in and I give up my plans because I am down for the count.
I'm not complaining. It's just the way it is for a bit longer. And I am grateful for the opportunity to hopefully heal my right ureter.
Anyway ...I told my friend I wasn't going. Then because she was disappointed and I really did want to go ...I said I'd think about it and we'd talk in a half hour. Then I still said no. Then I said okay ..yes. Another no. Then finally ...okay I will get ready and I'll be out front in 10 minutes.
We got to the church 15 minutes late. We weren't exactly sure where the meeting was being held. We had the right building, but almost walked into the wrong meeting. I think it was a prayer group.
So we stealthily walked into the stairwell at which point my friend went ahead of me to scout out the downstairs. She hollered up for me to come down because she thought she had the right meeting.
We opened the doors, walked into the meeting already in progress, but were warmly greeted by the leader and the others sitting in the meeting. But we weren't sure it was the right meeting. I sat there taking in what the leader was talking about ...actually trying to figure out what he was talking about (It sounded good, but missed the beginning of his story) and again wondering if we were in the right place.
And then it happened. My cell phone ...set on the highest volume blared Pachelbell's Canon in D and do you think I could find it?! I rarely get calls because I rarely use the phone and that is why I forgot to turn it off. It was my family doctor returning my call. he is the one who closed his practice and so of course I wanted to take that call. I excused myself and talked with him in another room.
The group was singing when I walked back in. The man I had been sitting next to was sharing a music sheet with my friend and I was sitting in between them and so I held the sheet for all of us. I was singing ...mindfully ...because singing is not my strong suit. Well I like to sing ...it's just not all that good. And while I was singing ...I was having this whole other dialogue in my head ...wondering, "Where are we? Is it the right group? The people seem nice. It seems like it will be interesting? IS it the right group? I like what he was saying earlier. Maybe we'll stay even if it's for something else. Where are we anyway?"
Then finally, I just couldn't stand it anymore! I leaned over to the singing man standing next to me and whispered, "Is this the such and such group?" Smiling warmly, he assured me that it was.
It just struck me funny that we could be participating with the wrong group, but were liking it and contemplating staying anyway. :)
I am really looking forward to doing this with my dear friend and making new friends along the way. I also look forward to the positive growth experiences ahead. I think it will be fun and most certainly interesting. :)