Thursday, March 17, 2011

Surgery by Candlelight

Surgical Suite Module
Just check out those big lights. Do you see how big they are? Do you know how bright they are?

I know some of you may think I am being ridiculous.

I feel ridiculous, but just can't help how I feel with this stuff.

I vent in here.

Most of my real life people don't have a clue how I feel prior to going in to the OR. Well ...Mr SeaSpray does ...because he sees the squirrelly come out.

All the preparing ...which we all do if we have somewhere to go ...but this is more of a ...I'm gonna be ...nekked front of a lot of people I don't know squirrelly prepping for the OR squirrelly prepping. Not that knowing them makes it better. I promise you that I don't look forward to being undressed anywhere. Not in the grocery store. Not at the dentist. Although ...I'd rather be in the OR instead of the dentist. At least they knock you out. I hate going to the dentist, but of course I go. That smell ..those sounds! Ugh! No undressed at the DMV. No undressed at the bank. No undressed at the mailbox. NO! No, no, no nekked anywhere... well almost anywhere. :) But in front of strangers and you have no control over your body have to surrender yourself ...let go and that is a haaard thing to do. ..even if it is only south of the border and I'm draped or whatever they do in the OR.

And all those bright lights and in that OR ..even the BIRDS get a bird's eye view through the window. It doesn't help the situation when you hear a Sea Gull laughing when you're about to assume the Bajingoland position. I'm just saying. And, yes ...they do have a big window in the OR and while pretty ...natural light abounds... commingling with the bright OR lights, the problem is ...natural light abounds... commingling with the bright OR lights.

I guarantee you most women don't want to be undressed with OR spot lights AND daylight shining in on them too, commingling all over them. Why not just put us under a giant magnifying glass too and send the picture to YouTube? I'm just saying.

Now ...if I could have some patient input into the OR lighting ...I suggest candle light. Yes ...that's it ...candlelight. I recommend ...abooouuut 50 candles! (depending on room logistics, of course) And in all different shapes and sizes ...strategically placed for ambiance and well ...obviously the optimum light on the surgical site for the surgeon. Unscented for patients with allergies and scented for the others. Although the staff and patient have to be in agreement about the scent an that could be decided during the preregistration. We don't want anyone feeling repulsed by aroma. I choose a Sea Spray scent. A friend gave me some Sea Spray candles and they are so pretty... like the ocean. I love food scents in cold weather ...especially baking scents, but I sure don't want to have the aroma of apple pie wafting through the area after being NPO for 84 hours. Well feels like it!

It occurs to me that OSHA (Occupational Safety & Health Administration), may have an issue with this, but I say OSHA-SMOSHA! Think of those Press Ganeys for patient satisfaction. Think about the patient experience!

So, I need to shave, wax, pluck, moisturize -which gets UNDONE with this wipe they give you to sanitize now - TWICE you have to do it, set my hair and yes I know it will get mushed up under the OR cap. I just have to ..I feel better doing it. Hmmm ... it just now occurs to this SeaSpray ...that all this beauty prepping ...for the glam view of me sporting a hospital gown(at least it's a pretty aqua) with my hair mushed up into the OR cap and draped with those OR thingies - name escapes me, oh and lets not forget the little scuffies or stockings and then in in the Bajingoland position for my debut in the OR ...IS how I release the squirrelly. Some people smoke to release the squirrelly ...that undercurrent of pre-op anxiety coursing through their veins. Some people would eat or drink to release the squirrelly. I would like to eat and drink water ...but that darn NPO.

That's it! All this fixating on prepping releases the squirrelly ...instead of me thinking about everything. I'm ureterally stented BIG stented ...and so I am not running a marathon. But I can prep!

At the hospital I worked at, some of my coworkers would go outside to have a cigarette. Me? I would do my makeup at break time. I get so relaxed when I apply makeup. It's fun and I feel better. But ...the OR protocol - states no makeup. (I think there are so many ways a patient can and probably does get contaminated and I am guessing with worse things ..but rules are rules. *sigh*)

Mr SeaSpray is probably going to be relieved that I won't be whining in bed because the stent hurts, causing Godawful spasms. While on my side facing away from him ...if he was awake ...last night he would've heard me say, "I always do this! I can't believe I am again feeling nervous with all of this. I KNOW what to expect!" But, it's the control. The needles and IVs. The getting naked. And nausea and kidney spasms - post-op. Well the place I go to is real good with preventing any post-op nausea and my arrival home is uneventful. I really appreciate that! But, this time, with this stent ...because it's so big and been in me awhile, I can't help but to worry about kidney spasms ...the mother of all kidney kind of spasms, tomorrow post-op and into the night. Been there - done that.

Well ...that's the latest scoop and so I'll be back when this is over.

Oh and back to surgery by candlelight ...The candles should be lit prior to the patient being wheeled into the OR and the OR darkened and you know ...a little music or ocean sounds might be nice. I would choose Pachelbel's Canon in D major.

And another perk to having all those candles in the OR ...if the anesthesiologist gets bored ...he could make puppet shadows. ;)

See works for everyone! :)


Chrysalis Angel said...

Hope you are doing ok, Seaspray. Rest and I'll try to check back in on you.

Dr. Deb said...

This post was funny and touching. Hope you are feeling better everyday.

SeaSpray said...

Hi Angel - Yes I am now. Thank you! :)

SeaSpray said...

Hi Dr Deb - yes I am feeling better. I am glad you enjoyed the post. My goofy humor is my way of venting about things.

Touching made me think for a minute.

You of course are perceptive. I only saw the humor ...but all the prepping and concern and history of my dealing with this also comes through. It's been a journey for sure.

Now I am believing for the best. :)

SeaSpray said...

Angel - I hope all is well with you too. E-mail me when you can.

Today was my turn around day. :)