I had a physical with my new internist today.
I like the particular.
Particular causes me to think he is on top of things.
And even though I don't like something I have to do ...if I do the other things I say I will do and have to do ...I won't always have to do what I don't want to do right now. That's a bucket full of incentive right there.
I appreciate his tenacity in making his point and getting me to let go of my resistance. I'm still not thrilled ...but I will comply.
I appreciate his listening. He really listened. I wanted him to know some things up front about me and some personal history. It is so hard starting over and I was stressed about going in and admittedly got teary eyes when I said I missed my former pcp and I know we can't know each other the way doctors and patients do after 20 yrs, but I just wanted him to know a little more about me personally and I said that I had a bad medical office experience last week and it caused me to be afraid to come into him ...even though it had nothing to do with him ...it just caused me to really miss my former pcp.
*And it wasn't a hideous physician encounter, but he was condescending and contradictory to the precedent already set with former visits and it his staff that did not get back to me about a test and it was his staff who told me I HAD to go in. And none of that would've been all that bad ...except his cold ...confusing attitude ..condescending attitude. If you were there ...you'd understand. I have a good rapport with my docs. This threw me to be treated like I was the melon that forgot to get back on the truck. And I was affected so much ...that I don't want to go back and so that is a problem since he ordered two tests.
So ..I told this doc ...omitting the other doc's name. He was supportive and I won't say everything discussed ...but I felt really taken care of. He does want me to just get the tests though and so I will.
And what impressed me ...really impressed me and now I know for sure I am in good hands ...I said I even hesitate mentioning this experience because your colleagues and he made it clear that does not matter ...that he wouldn't care if it was his partners. And I know of an incident with a friend that goes to him in which he really went to bat for her against some surgeons. And when I mentioned another doc's opinion (he's not around anymore either) ...about something ...a couple of things ..things ...he made it clear to me that that doctor was not right about some things with patients and so it is most likely I do not have autoimmune diagnoses because my labs always come back good ...thank you God. Even my former pcp told me that when a Dr uses "syndrome" it means he doesn't really know for sure. So ...that is real good news.
My labs were good again ...except for the a-1c and so he is following that closely now. I hate it ...but of course appreciate it. I am ready to partner with him and do whatever I need to do to reverse those numbers and just improve overall health. I am good ...but I need to lose weight.
Oh and while my lipid profile is really good ..the HDL is low. I think that means I need to increase exercise? Is there anything else I can do to increase that? I forgot to ask. I can google. I was pretty much middle of the road with results ..all good.
Anyway ...I have complete confidence in this physician now.
I should not have let my experience with the other physician affect me as it did. I LOVE that this doc will go to bat for me if meed be and is so dedicated to my well being.
I left that exam room feeling so much better than when I walked in. It is like a weight was lifted off me emotionally since my encounter with the other DR. And I feel after talking with him ...he knows me better and I have more insight regarding him.
A friend called me this morning ..my spiritual mom. A lady with strong faith and never says a bad word about anyone ..never. I told her what happened with this other doc last week and she said that she is hearing about a lot of doctors that seem to be lacking compassion lately. She happens to have 2 amazing docs. I know them from when I worked at the hospital and she is fortunate to have them. They have taken such good care of her.
I hope it's not true ...that more docs seem to be lacking compassion. I know of so many good ones.
Anyway ...thank God for the docs that treat their patients with dignity, respect ...and compassion.
I apologized to him because I canceled my physical 3 times and explained why. I even told him I would never be irate with him if I had to wait or if he needed to rescheduled last minute. I wanted him to know that I understand he could have emergencies or other things going on.
I told it it was important for me to feel understood and to bond over time. And also that I know I can be chatty and that I even told my ortho doc "If I get too chatty ..just reign me in." and that doc busted out laughing when I said it and this one smiled.
I absolutely do not say these things to all docs and don't have to bond either. But, if a doc is going to be working fairly often ...then I think it is important to have a good rapport and mutual respect and understanding. Well always respect. I also believe it facilitates trust and healing and particularly if challenges come up.
This morning ...my friend also said that she feels like her doctors are friends. I feel that way too ...about certain doctors. Now ...it is only withing the scope of the medical relationship, but if you feel you are friends with your doc ...it is a blessing for both of you. That is my experience anyway.
***I've been blogging often lately and so if haven't been in here ..check out other posts if you want to. Funny how that works. Feel that blogging fire again. :)