Friday, July 20, 2012

Sad Socks - Happy Socks ...Mystery Solv-Ed and Revenge of the Socks ;)

Just a couple days ago, I could've sent 14 single socks to this support group. I was folding Mr SeaSpray's socks and came across FOURTEEN unmatched socks! What the heck?!

Yes ...I've pondered over the missing sock mystery for years ...but, usually one or two out of some loads. It is a universal mystery among those of us who dry said socks in the dryer.

But FOURTEEN socks gone missing? It's like they've been caught up in the rapture ... right out of the drying process ...forever gone from this earth.

So ...assuming there was recently some mass sock exodus in which they were raptured to sock heaven ...I would encourage the sad socks to cheer up because their partners are now completely whole more stretched elastic, no more holes, no more fading frolicking as only socks know how to do in the complete sock restoration of their youth.

But, I digress. :)

So later that night, I noticed the socks Mr SeaSpray was wearing. One blue sock - one brown sock.

THAT's what happened!"

"Do you know that you are wearing one blue sock and one brown sock?"


"Well you are! No wonder you had FOURTEEN missing socks! Ha! This particular sock mystery is solv-Ed (spoken like Inspector Clouseau in the "Pink Panther" movies. :), and it didn't involve the sock rapture. ;)


"Never mind. You've got a week's worth of folded MATCHED socks to wear."

(I know - not exactly the most scintillating couple conversation ...unless maybe you're a foot person with a sock fetish - then I suppose it's titillating. ;)

Socks. Sometimes marriage is just about the socks - what can I say?

It turns out that after I admittedly, left Mr SeaSpray's socks in a chair without folding them, that he scooped them up (I appreciate that :), and put them away into sock chaos. It was a veritable sock free for all, I'm sure! No matching and folding. Just shoved in the drawer in one big collective mass of sock chaos. Then ..since he gets up at 4:30 in the morning and dresses in the dark( so he doesn't wake me - I appreciate that too :), he just grabbed socks. Apparently, he dressed for a week in mismatched socks. He probably didn't even know because he always gets undressed in the dark. Well actually, both morning and night he dresses by the light of his alarm clock - basically dressing in the dark. We have FOUR lights in our bedroom! It's just what he does. I don't know why. I mean I don't know why he undresses in the dark at night. He has a light right by his side of the bed and near the hamper. Oh and speaking of the hamper I strategically placed it on HIS side of the bed for his convenience in getting clothes IN the hamper. That little tidbit of info is beside the point ...but I've found it works best that way. :)

Anyway now occurs to me that these socks amidst chaos ...some of them grieving for their matched partners ...may also have decided to exact some revenge to teach Mr SeaSpray a lesson. Yes ...revenge of the socks! It apparently involved some self sacrifice. You know it for the cause.

"Maybe next time he won't be so quick to just shove us in here without our partners!"

Randomly matched blue socks in the chaos in unison, "Wait! Here he comes!"
Heroic brown sock, "I'm goin in! One of you matched blue socks, STAND Down!"

Sacrifice complete ...mission accomplished ...Mr SeaSpray obliviously went to work in one brown sock and one blue sock ...and so went his week of mismatched sock wearing.

No doubt that even amidst their struggles ...all the remaining socks ...along with the sacrificial socks were busting up with sock laughter only socks can laugh, pleased they had turned it around, taken charge ...especially the heroic, sacrificial socks ON Mr SeaSpray. I imagine them laughing all day ...with each step he took.

Laughing Socks of the office and everywhere he went. :)

Or did they giggle? No definitely NOT ...NO giggling would ever come out of MANLY socks!

Of course the sock revenge was misguided as Mr SeaSpray remained unaffected but, *I* received the message loud and clear and *I* will be the one to get those socks back together ASAP.

Of course ...maybe that was the sock plan all along. ;)

I'm just saying ...if socks could feel, talk, plot and laugh ...this is what probably happened. We all know there are more then our 3 1/2 dimensions we live in here on earth. (height, depth, width and time going forward) How do we know there isn't a sock dimension in which all these sock activities occur ...right in our midst?

Is anyone else hearing the Twilight Zone music playing? .....

I think it's no coincidence that the intro on this Twilight Zone video looks like the inside of a dryer exhaust tube...

I'm just sayin...

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