Monday, August 20, 2012

Warning - GROSS but Funny (since it wasn't you)

Saturday evening, did NOT go according to plan!

The plan changed due to a #10 on the gross-o-meter!

And this would be what I WISH I was wearing.

After dinner, I brought the little ones out to play. Myles and I were playing with a large ball, while Wrenna was playing on the Little Tike's play yard. Younger son had just gotten home from work and came out to join us.

The ball rolled in between the sheets I had hanging on the line and little 20 month old Myles went to get the ball. I could see him and the ball. What I did not see was that someone had hooked our dog up to her coated wire lead. And when we are outside, she always begins barking, announcing to us she is there and wants to come play with us. Some smell must've immediately gotten her attention when she came outside, because she was so quiet. She has an annoying trait of being a digger CHINA, if she could when she picks up on a scent.

But, withing seconds of Myles going for the ball, she ran right over, caught him up in the lead and pulled him down! He cried and I scooped him up, began swaying him ...holding him close to comfort him. And was really mad at myself for not foreseeing that, even tho it was an accident. Her lead also should NOT have been that long because she should not be anywhere near the clothesline.

Also, I saw a doggy surprise right near where the baby fell, but ...thankfully was all intact. He stopped crying as soon as we walked over to his sister, and began playing as soon as I put him down. I sat down at the picnic table and had a little more of the potato salad in a cup I had brought out from dinner. But, as I was eating it ...I was smelling that doggy "surprise" and oh it was a surprise alright.

I asked Chris, who was playing with his niece and nephew ...

"WHY am I smelling POOP?"

"I don't know Mom."

I put the potato salad down and looked at my hands. The fingers on my left hand all had POOP on them!!!!

"EWW! There is DOG POOP on my FINGERS!!"

I was HORRIFIED! (Yes - I am aware there is war, disease and real tragedies to be horrified over - but if you have a hangnail ...that hangnail still hurts YOU and poop on fingers ...EWWW and when holding your food and EATING???? GROSSED OUT HORRIFIED I tell you!!!)

Son grinning now.

"EWWWWWW there is POOP on top of my left TOES!! HOW did THAT happen?!!!!

Son chuckling now.

"MOM! Myles has POOP on his shoe and his shirt."


I walked over to see how much.

"EWWWWW ...oh NOOOOOO!!!!! GROSS ..he DID FALL in DOG POOP! I have to bring him in for a BATH! Just get his shoes off and "

"MOM! You have POOP a-l-l-l-l down the SIDE of you!"

I just SHRIEKED in utter dismay ...when I looked down on my left side and thick, softened poop was smeared right by my lower left rib cage, down my side, down onto my hip!

Son is now busting out laughing ...head tossed back and all.

I was NOT.

My voice was definitely escalated as I exclaimed, "THIS is just GROSS! DisGUSTing! We HAVE to get these clothes OFF! UGHHHH!"

"CHRIS! Get his shoes OFF! I have to get this OFF! UGHHHH! GROSS!!! I CAN"T BELIEVE this HAPPENED!!!"

Fortunately, it was only a little hot pink beach cover up dress that is strapless and is stretchy over the chest area and I could just shimmy right out of it where I left it on the grass. (I would've just thrown it out, but I like that it is as light as air - great for a really hot day. Then I got the shirt off Myles and asked son to please hose down the shoe, shirt and cover up.

He watched the kids so I could go in and wash off first.

I was still loudly complaining about this GROSS and ANNOYING debacle while carrying Myles into and through the house and getting him into the bathtub. Mr SeaSpray was on the living room couch watching TV. I KNOW he had to have heard every word I said, but he didn't utter a word or come over to help doubt because he too was secretly laughing. I know it. Because usually, he'd come to help. Heck ...I would've been too ...if the poop wasn't smeared ALL OVER ME! Or he was grossed and figured I had it under control Anyway, it didn't matter at that point as I was a SeaSpray on a mission and attacked it with Gusto ...although still lamented for a bit until I began playing with Myles in the bathtub? His extreme cuteness settled me down. :)

Mission accomplished! :)

It occurs to me that our neighbor, whom I had just said a cheerful "Hi Joe!" to minutes earlier was nearby in his backyard when this all transpired and had to have heard/seen it all and had to be laughing too. And the neighbors on the other side of him would've had quite the amusing show if they were out on their porch and they usually are.

Now, I do appreciate the humor of it all and is why I am sharing with you. :)

Oh and those sheets on the line ...that I just love hanging outside to get that wonderfully fresh outdoor scent when we sleep? DOG POOP scent on the top sheet because it dragged down over said DOG POOP!

THIS will NEVER happen again.

To be continued....


Chrysalis Angel said...

Mr. Seaspray was smart. He stayed put, stayed out of it, and claimed he knew nothing.....:) lol.

SeaSpray said...

Hi Angel - yes he was. I would want to too. :)