Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Waiting ...in the WRONG Wating Room!


LinkPhoto credit

Have you ever just been so sure of something, that you didn't need anyone to tell you anything about where your going? Because after all ...been there ...done that ...you know the layout. "Oh ...I know EXACTLY where that is." Except ...as it turns out ...you DON'T know where you are supposed to be. *sigh*

I brought a friend to a physician's office ...or so I thought. She had been there before too. We both have ...or so I thought.

Her appointment was going to take awhile and so I told her to go ahead, that I just wanted to put a little more makeup on ...painted woman that I can be. :) And I wrote a thank you note and all the while listening to information about the Supreme Court arguments ...which I find fascinating.

So ...there I am in the waiting room ...waiting ...with all the other people in the waiting room. I brought something to read ...but just couldn't focus on it. Ha! Focus ...interesting choice of words since I was waiting in an opthamology office. So I redirected my focus to items that facilitate focus ...their eyeglass store within the waiting room area.

I sauntered over there ...perusing the sunglasses. The next thing I knew ...I found myself trying on designer sunglasses (A SeaSpray can dream :), while chatting with the woman assisting me ...until we were interrupted by Pachelbel's Canon in D Major ...playing a bit too loudly for a waiting room environment.

"Huh ...it's my friend ...why is she calling me from inside?"

"Where are you?", she asks.

"Where AM I? I'm in the waiting room."

"You're IN the WAITING room?"

"Yeah, I'm trying on sunglasses."

"Your WHAT?! What do you mean Your trying on sunglasses?"

"I'm trying on sunglasses in their eyeglass shop. Actually I need regular glasses, but I really liked"

"WHAT eyeglass shop?!"

"You know ..where they sell the glasses in the waiting room? I'm sitting right here trying them on. You must've walked straight out and not looked over in this direction. Where are YOU?!"

"I'm standing out front looking for you! I thought maybe you went up to the hospital to visit someone."

"HOSPITAL?! No-o-o-o ...I'm right here! And my car is parked straight in front of you. Just come back in and"

"Where are you?"

Now getting exasperated, "I'm in the WAITING room you just left ...come back in and look to your right and"

Then there she was ...standing right by me ...still talking to me on her cell phone. Ha ha!

She said, "I was wondering, How much MAKEUP is she putting on? WHERE is she planning on going?" :)

She informed me that I was in the wrong office and then I was confused. After all ...I know where this opthamology group is. I used to go to there ...and not that long ago. And besides ...I even happened to notice their names on the sign right near the door and her doctor's name was on it.

"What do you mean this isn't the right office?"

She asked, "Didn't you look at the arrows?"

"WHAT arrows?"

"The little arrows by their name."

It turns out his little arrow went in the opposite direction. No ...I definitely did not process that.

While I was waiting in the opthamology office waiting room ...she was in the SURGICAL opthamology office or center a few doors down. Actually, I don't know what they call themselves since I never made it down to their door. The regular office always seemed so large to me and I just assumed they had surgical suites in the back somewhere.

After we left, we went to Cafe Pierrot where she treated me to a late lunch ...or as Seinfeld would say ..."Linner", late lunch - early dinner. :) It was yummy. I had the Tuscan vegetable sandwich, soooo good. I love that little place. And I love that we had a nice leisurely linner ...filled with good conversation and laughter. :)

Monday, March 26, 2012

I Stood My Ground

It wasn't easy for me to do either and you won't believe how insistent I had to be. Unbelievable! And in the cleaning room and then in the working room. Major resistance on my main dentist's part. Pretty sure he's mad at me ...if not definitely annoyed. But hey ...you know what? SO-AM-I!

I wrote more ...but there is so much to write. I made sure his staff knew what my understandable concerns. And I got the phone number for the Delta plan ...which I WILL be calling tomorrow.

By the way .... the whole stand my ground thing ...you should know that I am basically Jello ...that will melt on the floor with confrontation ...UNLESS it is for a cause ...an injustice. I mean ...I can certainly be assertive and am when I have to be. But, the idea of going against a doctor when he wants something done or not done ... feels really uncomfortable for me and in past I just always get quiet and go along. (Except for uro surgery and my urologists have worked with me and that is totally different reason why I resisted. I 100% understand the recommendations and both trust and respect those docs.)

But this whole dental thing ...something just is not right. I never want to believe the worst and it takes me a long time to accept that a professional or anyone I have trusted with a situation or outcome in my life, would not have my best interest as a patient or friend, etc., at heart.

I guess I haven't lost all of my naivete.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

And Yet Another Reason to Own a Dog ;)

funny dog pictures - hey u <span class=
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Our Dog would take this job on. And she wouldn't leave any spots either. ;)

Introspective Post - We Talked 137 Minutes last Night...


Photo credit

"Hello Sarah?" Thankfully I didn't have to climb up the telephone and talk for 5 hours ...I'm just sayin. ;)

...and almost THREE hours today. :)

I LOVE FaceBook! And ...I never thought I would ever think that. In August, I created a separate one from my SeaSpray FB account, using my real identity. I still was not all that into it. But ...recently ...I have become more active with it and I LOVE the new timeline because you can personalize it with your photos, etc., and it has a better presentation overall.

A few nights ago ...because of FB, I reconnected with an old friend that I had lost contact with ..other than the cards she faithfully sends every birthday and Christmas. I hadn't seen her since around 2001 because she moved to Florida in 1988. And even when she still lived up here ...our lives led us in different directions. We have been friends since I moved up here at the age of 14. We may've been 15 by the time we actually started hanging out. We became really good friends and we were in each other's weddings and helped give each other Baby showers.

I LOVED every second speaking with her! We shared so much because we had so much to catch up on. And we laughed. She has a terrific sense of humor and we just feed off each other and so definitely laughed a lot amidst the serious conversations too.

What was especially endearing to me is that she knew my family. Not so much my mother ..a little ...but she knew my aunt and uncle really well and also my cousin Lee and my friend Iris. She actually knew my aunt and uncle better than Iris did because Iris and I never lived near each other in those days.

It felt soooooo good to be able to share memories about my past from those earlier years and also that she would understand the present things with the past as a backdrop to a lot of the current things. And the laughs over things we did or I did back then. She even reminded me of things I did that I had forgotten ...like that I wrote things even back then.

It is so nice when you can share a knowing laugh with someone about things in your past history ...or share the sentimental things. I was missing that very much...from earlier in my life. I don't know why exactly, but I feel more anchored again. It's ironic that I just wrote how flat I felt when doing things with other friends (since Iris died) ...and now I feel so excited and upbeat after reconnecting with this dear friend. I wish we lived near each other.

Anyway ...I truly LOVED connecting with this dear friend again and we both agreed we will stay in contact every month. I have to say ...FB is really cool. And I've always had her phone number and address, but there is just something about FB that facilitates people in taking action to get together. Maybe it is having the visual and availability of messaging right in front of you in the moment ..not sure.

And now for a bit of navel gazing ...

Do other people feel like I've described? After their lives have been turned upside down and/or they lost people they loved? I don't know why I needed to feel "anchored", because I certainly have my family around me and my life in the present. The present is what matters most.

But ... it has to be a normal feeling after loss. I've just felt out there ...disconnected ...even though as I previously stated, I have my family with me. I am grateful for my present life. I would not trade any of it for my past. I'm glad to be here and with all those I love. I want to be clear about that.

But ...I'm just trying to understand my feelings.

It may just be that loss rocks me to my core in a way that it may not for people who grew up with a stable home life. I wrote about this before, that my mother left my father when I was 3 and not only did she leave him ...she cut me off from my paternal grandmother, great grandmother, aunt and cousins ...and I never saw them again. She thought she was doing the right thing to protect me from him. Being so young ..I forgot about all of that. We moved in with my maternal grandparents. When I was 9 ...I saw my first dead person ...it was Grandpa ..who had died in his sleep of a ruptured aneurysm. Then when I was 10, I woke up early one morning to the sounds of Grandma having a heart attack, tried to go out to see her, but was told to go back to bed. I laid there in my bed, facing my yellow bedroom wall ...praying for her to be alright as I heard all the commotion. She died en route to the hospital. And when I was 14 1/2 my mother sent me up here to live with her brother and wife and I was so hurt and angry because she was still down there. Our home life had gotten really difficult financially and so it really was the best thing for me, but it hurt so much to leave my friends, our house and the ocean.

I had a hard time accepting it ...resisting going to school ..or making friends. It was the antitheses of the friendly, happy-go lucky girl I had always been. I had a real knack for causing my uncle's artery in his jawline to pulsate. I loved them and I did appreciate they're taking me in, but I was angry and so I acted out. Not ever with drugs, sex or drinking ...but in resisting living up here. It was one of the most devastating losses that hurt even more than my grandparents dying. But, I actually think ...that my feelings of loss were so strong because being sent away also activated all the other loss I had experienced. It wasn't just the move ...subconsciously ...it was all of it. Every night for the next 5 months, I prayed for God to let me go back to the shore to live and cried myself to sleep. I was so brokenhearted. (Thank God he did not say "Yes" to those prayers) I even intentionally failed English ...one of my best subjects. This normally people pleasing girl, actually enjoyed defiantly looking at the teacher and telling him I did not do my assignment and did not know the answers when he called on me. (THAT was NOT at all the real me. She got lost in all the hurt, fear and anger. She ALWAYS respected authority.) So ..they set me up to meet with the school psychologist for the rest of my freshman year. I actually enjoyed that, as I was intrigued with the tests and learning about behavior, etc. and she actually did help to build my self esteem. I felt confident around her. I don't know if she was correct or how accurate IQ tests are over time, but at that time she said my IQ was 125... above average and I did feel good about that. (Yet I had math anxiety and struggled with that subject - go figure)

One of the first tests she gave me was to draw a house and a tree on a piece of paper. I forget what else I put on it. I don't remember exactly what she said other than her commenting that because I drew the house up in the air, I felt I wasn't connected to anything. I countered with it's just a picture. But, she said the my putting the tree on the ground, but the house up in the air demonstrated that I felt my life was up in the air. I don't think one had to be a rocket scientist to arrive at that conclusion ...but it was interesting.

I have been perplexed about not feeling connected or feeling lost ..which began when Mom died and subsided. But, then exacerbated after Iris died last October. I don't feel it 24/7, but I don't like it when I do feel it. I've assumed it is part of the grief process.

I just feel so much better after talking so long with my friend about things others would not relate to in the same way. It felt so good to be able to talk about my family and that someone remembered them and we shared laughs and also serious conversation. Being able to catch up on each others lives. And it was nice remembering her family and sharing my memories with her.

It was a great bonding time.

There is a scripture that says, "A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. " ~ Proverbs 17:22

It was healing to reconnect with Joyce. :)

Not to mention a real HOOT! :)

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Some Saturday Thoughts - Food/Confession of a SeaSpray/Flat/Intimidating Doctors - Stand Firm

Last night's dinner for son.

Last night was an easy dinner night ...you know ...the kind where you decide you will all just pick at whatever you want ..no big deal cooking. So ...I used up the last of the corned beef and made son a Rubin sandwich with homemade coleslaw. I would normally use a good quality Russian rye and more corned beef, but son liked it. I had a faux Rubin ...sans the corned beef. :) Mr SeaSpray had his favorite ...sausage. Anyway ...now we will not have anymore corned beef until next St Patrick's day. We love it ..but I only make it once a year. I don't know why. But, I think that is probably a good thing.
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SeaSpray confession time. I don't gave to ...but I am going to because maybe HUMILIATION and FEAR will get me back on track. I gained *SEVEN* pounds since St Patrick's day and that was as of Thursday. I will not weigh myself again until I feel like I lost it. I already do feel like I did ..at least lost some and I hope some of that was water weight from the salt.

What did I expect? I mean if I was gonna eat corned beef, cake, chips, muffins, etc for a few days ....this was predictable. Why didn't I stop myself after the main meal. i did so well at Thanksgiving.

The upside ...is that the former me ...back about 6 years ago ...would've said ...well you ate that and gained this ...you might as well just eat whatever you want and diet tomorrow. That was then. And the tomorrows never came ...but fleetingly for about 2 decades. So I gained.

The good news is that I do not do that anymore. Blogging does help keep me accountable ... conscious of what I am doing and consequences of my choices. I also no longer think, "DIET", but rather lifestyle change. And slowly (although too slowly) but surely ...I have been adapting a healthier lifestyle when it comes to eating. I am still not good about sleep (going to bed EARLY) and exercise. OA in my knees (bone on bone) is a major hindrance and holds me back more than I care to admit. That being said ...I have a Y membership that I don't use and I could be swimming and exercise on low impact machines.

So ...I have made the turn around ...and slowly heading on a better course ...but I have not gone full speed ahead. I think if I can just gain that momentum ...I will be less likely to deter off course.

I also credit all the on line tools and there is a health TV show that I find informative and inspirational. I will link it in here sometime.

So ...again the good news is that ...I have again stopped myself and am reversing the damage done. I've said this before ...if only I could STAY where I am after losing wait and then only go down when ready again. So much time and energy is wasted when we regain wait. You can ask any overweight person and they will tell you they've lost a lot of weight in their life because they regain and have to lose it again. I know I'm not alone in this and I will never give up. I just want to get myself focused and achieve the goals I have set for myself ...stop pussyfooting around.
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After the holidays ...I wanted to give up sugar. I had some baking I wanted to do and then I wanted to give it up until Mr SeaSpray's birthday. I am fortunate that I don't like sweet drinks. rarely anyway ...unless I get a yen for lemonade or a cream soda ...but that is so rare. Sweet drinks make me thirsty and I don't like being thirsty and I just don't like sweet drinks because they seem so much sweeter than sweet food - too much. (God as my witness ...my all time favorite beverage is a good tasting water ..and second choice coffee, tea - unsweetened. :) Anyway, ...best laid plans ... and I still didn't do that baking ..which I also want to do for presents - thank yous for some others. That all began when I began making food for the uro office and has evolved to where I make up pretty plates of goodies in smaller amounts for others. It is fun to do. :) I just couldn't get into it.

I admit ...I have really been out of sorts this past fall/winter. A good part of it is ...well I don't know exactly what ...but I suspect it has to do with grieving over my friend. It's not that I cry every day or am curled up in a fetal position under my mattress. I do not/am not. But, I realized recently ...that things I always derived pleasure from ...baking ...visiting friends or family ...whatever ...feels flat.

I can't really explain it and I don't understand why ...if I always enjoyed being with friends in the past ...when Iris was alive and I could go 6 months without seeing her and not talking ..even on the phone for a few months and just have fun doing whatever I was doing ...then WHY ...if I am at a friend's ...or doing something I always liked doing ...does it feel flat? I remember one night in particular. I was having dinner at a friend's house. There was good company ...good food and lots of laughter. I was having fun. I stayed with my good friend after the other company left. I was sitting in her kitchen ...enjoying a glass of wine while she was putting some things away. I enjoyed our conversation too.

But, what I didn't say ...that a part of me felt lost ..it felt flat. I thought about Iris and how I would've told her about that night. Okay, welling up with tears now. It will pass. And I thought about how that door is just closed. There will be no more conversations with her. But ..I just wonder ...if it didn't bother me to be separated for long periods of time before and I enjoyed other things and people ...why does it feel flat now? Is this what grief is? Just in a different form?

And those of you that have followed my posts ...know how hard I took my mom's death. And you also know how much joy our children and grandchildren bring me.

I am thinking that it must be ...because she is an equal. You expect that parents will die. It is the natural order of things. I miss her and there are so many things I wish I could ask Mom and tell her and do for her. And losing her did rock my world. But ..things did not feel flat to me. I could still go to Iris and talk to her. And I still have my other friends to talk with.

But ...I think it is because she was my ultimate go-to person since I was four years old. Amazingly ...we were best friends from back then as little girls and we only spent summers together. (She was the last person to know me from my past and my mother ..other than my cousins. But I hardly saw them and so she was the last connection to that far back ..close connection.) Then when summer was over ...she'd go back home and I'd go back to my shore friends. It must've been a meant to be friendship because we spent way more time apart then together over the years. I just always knew she was there ..somewhere there and we'd connect again.

After mom died ...my PCP told me that if I felt afraid ..that was normal. He said often after a parent dies ...a person will feel afraid for awhile. My world was rocked in a way I had never experienced. I wrote about it in posts here. And I did conclude that because I always knew she was there ...even if I didn't see her and her not being on this planet anymore created a huge void for me and did rock my world for a while. And I so very much miss her.

I'm thinking ...it is even worse in one way ..losing Iris ...because I confided almost everything in her. Everything except things that involved others I could not tell. But ... we both shared very personal things ..girly things all kinds of things ...silly (I miss the silly - we could get so silly over the dumbest things like I could with no other) and had a long history shared between us.

And I especially think that the "flat" ...comes in because no matter what I did, who I did it with and where ...I ALWAYS came back to her and shared all I was doing ...always. Okay ..tears welling up again. It's like this major part of my life just is not there anymore ..well not like ..it is-not-there ..she-is-not-there...here.

And I DO appreciate my other friends. I just wish I could not think of her when I am with them. Aha! Being with other friends ...reminds me I can no longer be with her or talk to her. And never ...on this planet is a long time. I guess it comes down to the fact that this loss is still fresh and will take a long time before I am used to it. It is what it is.

And to be clear ...I am not sobbing and I do participate in things, etc., I just feel like the duck that lost it's soul mate and is looking for it. And even though Iris and I did have our significant differences ...we were girlfriend soul mates ...kindred spirits in ways that mattered most. I also know if I keep looking back ...I am not allowing other people to come in to my heart at that level. I miss hearing her call me Patty. Only people that knew me from when I was little call me that ...except for a random stranger now and then. :)
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And last thought for here ...I hope to write that dental post ...if I get a chance to and can focus on it because thee is a lot to write.

The reason I want to write it by Monday is that I have a scheduled cleaning on Monday and I KNOW I have to have a root canal and a cap on a tooth that he worked on a few weeks ago. he only gave me a composite over a very badly broken tooth ...telling me that he goes conservative first. I went back in to say that I can't chew on that side ..that it is sensitive inside ..with every bite. he said it looks good. (he did do an excellent job and it looks like a real tooth.) And he tried to move it and stated it doesn't move and didn't think anything is wrong. So ..I said I would give it more time.

Well ...it has been about a month ..I think and I cannot eat on that side. I know what is happening because it happened with a big molar in the back after the main dentist did work. I don't want to get into that now though. I KNOW that it is not stable deep down and is somehow moving deep down. Something is not right or I would not feel a sensitivity deep in there. And I would be able to eat on it. Grapes, gum, oatmeal, bread, cooked vegetables, fruit and I could go on ...allll bother me. never mind that I can't chew nuts, meat, or anything of substance on that side. it is the tooth right behind my lower left eyetooth and so it precludes me from using even my molars on that side.

I am not a crazy person. And A-N-Y medical professional that knows me ...knows I am afraid of pain and will do anything in my power to avoid it. And my dentist knows that I HATE being there ...even for cleanings. I cannot stand having any work done in my mouth.

And so KNOWING this fact about me ...why then ...would *I* want ...ask for a ROOT CANAL and all the work involved in getting a permanent cap made and the expense of it all ...which let me tell you ...even with our dental plan will cost more than a few hundred dollars out of pocket? Money that could be better put to other important things.

Why would I request that torture and expense?

And now ...because he went conservatively ...that waste of time costs us an additional 75.00 out of pocket for that composite. Unless ..I would've had to have that anyway ...until the cap was done.

So ...here is why I want to write the whole story. Because I have to gear myself up to stand my ground and go against the dentist. Sometimes ...doctors intimidate me. And so I won't speak up. I don't want to be a bad patient. I don't want to act like I am a know it all and cause hard feelings. Or get them mad.

It is really hard to tell a doctor you disagree... particularly if the Dr seems to get annoyed with you for speaking up. I can't tell you how many conversations I've had with the main dentist wanting to know why he doesn't pop a cap to check on an odor or cap a tooth, etc.

The only exception for me doing this (going against advice) is with the reconstructive ureteral stricture surgery. I knew it was high risk for me and I felt like I was fighting for my LIFE in resisting it. Otherwise ...I would not have the courage to go against recommendations. And thankfully ...my urodoc is a good listener and has worked with me. There is no comparison between him and my dentist anyway. He would not cheat me. He would not avoid doing things for my insurance money. And he would look out for my good ...and I know has always worked on my behalf. I am certain of that. I realize that I am making a large assertion here ..that my dentist wants to keep the insurance money and is why he does not do the work I need when I need it. I do not know this for a fact ...but it is the only thing I can conclude ...given what my past experiences have been ...that explains his choices with my dental care.

So ..I'll stop here. I'll try to right the rest of the story before Monday, but ...whether I do or not ...I do have to stand firm ...be assertive with my request for this tooth to be fixed and not allow myself to be talked out of it ...because I KNOW what *I* feel.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Friends are like bras....

I put the following up in FB today. Ha! I got two likes and a comment from guys, but don't know where the girls are. not my girls ..girlfriends. ;)

Now that warm weather is upon us, it's time to hang the girls out on the line again. Not my girls but their bras. I always like seeing the pretty colors on the line. I don't know why. A girl thing I guess. ;)
!

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Weather and other Things On My Mind


Lilies from our Garden (last year)



I didn't know what to call this post because I can't articulate how I feel about it. Weird? Crazy? Don't know what to make of it? Go with the flow? When in Rome ...

What am I talking about?

The WEATHER.

It has this SeaSpray - Jersey girl longing for the snow ...feeling like something is missing. I'm one of those people who thrives in frigid temperatures and loves the winter landscapes. Instead it has felt like one long warm November. Heck ...Novembers are usually more like winter than what we've had. I don't like the hardships cold, snowy winters bring though. Where people have accidents and energy bills are through the roof adding additional financial hardship to strained budgets.

I am extremely grateful for the lower energy costs because the electric and oil are large bills in our budget. I know that is true for so many people. And it affects businesses too ...adding to their ever increasing overhead. And then the whole trickle down effect of that. I could get all political about it, but that would be digressing. Suffice it to know I think that the current energy policies that do not allow for taking action in the present ...while still researching other alternatives, are seriously hurting most American people at all levels. Middle and lower adversely affected the most.

Anyway, this past weekend ... I actually wore a strapless beach cover up and flip flops because I had nothing cooler to wear. They put the a/c on at the vet's office while we were there and it felt sooo good. It was only mid march! I sat in the sun last week. I think tomorrow I will again. I know the sun is more intense in April than in the summer and so will be mindful to use sunscreen. Our windows have been open ...even at night. the peepers sound wonderful. I always think of my friend Iris when they and the summer locusts first come out because she is the one who first caused me to notice them with appreciation. :) Ducks came back and were swimming on the pond a few weeks ago. Flowers already blooming. The cherry trees are already blooming in Washington.

And Mr SeaSpray planted peas yesterday. Well ...you're supposed to plant peas in March ...but he's never done it in just an undershirt. Herbs. I'm looking forward to expanding my herb garden.

And sneakers our cat is just loving this weather ...spending more time out than in.

Sneakers in the Hostas

It got so warm in here after I opened the windows today and so I asked son to bring some summer clothes down from the attic. And I am wearing a casual cotton sundress now. It is just soooo weird.

I remember my uncle telling me that Fairhope, Alabama is just perfect in March. Nice temperatures before it gets unbearably hot. I wonder ...are the southern states unseasonably hot right now if we are so warm up here now? And ...I was thinking it would be so NEAT if we could open our swimming pool next month if this keeps up. Just put a solar cover on it. I am also wondering if we SHOULD open it up sooner even if we can't swim because all this heat may turn the water all green with these warm temperatures. I did hear on the news that it will be more "insecty" ...yes the male talk show guest said "insecty" and is not a SeaSpray euphemism this time. :) he said to watch our plants carefully and take action if needed. We never use pesticides, so I hope it won't be all that bad.

Even though I missed the snow this year ...I don't want it now. I even took all our snowmen winter scenes down earlier. I keep displays and white lights on trees in the windows ...as another excuse to keep white lights on because I like them. :)

I do feel this intense urge to spring clean too. And tackle outdoor projects. I want to either re-stain or paint our Adirondack chairs and can't decide which way to go with that. I'm bummed that we never got to use our pressure hose. We loaned it to friends for a weekend. Didn't use it right away, but when we did ..it didn't work. :( So ''I'll have to hand sand. Wait can you "hand sand" or do I have to sand by hand? Either way ...hand sand is fun to say. Go ahead ..say it. hand sand. ;)

Younger son (on spring break) took our dog, Faith, and is out hiking with his friends. (I just noticed he left her leash on the counter. I wonder how THAT is working out?) Gorgeous day for it. She's loving it, I'm sure. :) He will be graduating college this spring. Wow ...that went by soooo fast.

And last thing ...I saw this neat book in Costco the other night. I skimmed through the pages and I wanted to do all of it and make all of it. It was a good sized hard covered book with fabulous pictures of different kinds of different picnic themes. Now I want to go on a picnic!

It has been so long since we did anything like that and we have 3 pretty parks in our area and the Delaware water gap isn't that far either. And God knows I have so many baskets to fill up with some tasty food. I mentioned it to my d-i-l the other night. It would be fun to bring all kinds of food, blankets, balls, fishing poles (has to be water near by - that is a SeaSpray picnic prerequisite. :) Books, cameras, bubbles, kite, Frisbee, ball, sand toys ...whatever might be fun. the only thing I would like to see left behind is ALLLLL electronics. If they come along ..then I know some they will be checking messages, playing electronic games, etc. I think it is important to totally get away from the world for a few hours. Just enjoy each other and nature with no outside interference. I honestly don't know if the kids will agree though.

So ...I guess when all is said and done ...I am liking this balmy March weather. But ..it is such a weird feeling. Although, it was officially spring yesterday.

Happy Spring to all! :)

PS - It will be fun to put more pictures up once I scan some or add more to my folder. These pics were from last year.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Out of the Mouths of Babes. :)

Cute little story: last week while changing baby Myle's diaper ...his sister Wrenna came over ...watching intently ..with precision focus. Just as I was about to put his diaper up, she pointed and exclaimed, "JELLY BEAN!" :)

Surprise Creamer and the rest of the story :)

The title to this post isn't about the Irish soda bread biscuits I made - they were really good. The oven wasn't free for me to bake the round and with a cross in the center, Irish soda bread like I usually do. And I had to cook them at a lower temperature than the recipe calls for. So, I improvised making mini muffins instead.


One of our aunts likes to have evaporated milk in her coffee. I didn't buy any the other night because I saw a can in the closet. So, last night I made a pot of coffee when we were about to have dessert. I shook the can. Then ...I got the opener and put too openings in the can, flipped it over and nothing came out.

Perplexed ... I said, "What the heck?!"

I flipped the can back over ...saw red and then loudly exclaimed, "EWWWWWW!" I was so put off by seeing something dark red in the can and immediately thought of blood. Mind you ...awful yet undefined images were flying through my brain as I am attempted to process what was in that can, wondering how that happened. ??? Also, simultaneously bummed because now she wouldn't like her coffee as much with out the evaporated milk. You know how our brains work. I process everything so many thoughts simultaneously and far more quickly then the words could all come out. Doesn't everyone? Or is that the female brain in action? ;)

And then I saw it.

After looking back into the can again, I saw the color for what it really was and then read the outside of the can.

I exclaimed, "Oh NO! I opened a can of CRANBERRY SAUCE!", at which point we all busted out laughing. :)

Turns out the can colors were similar and the can was turned around in the closet and I assumed it was evaporated milk. On autopilot ..I just opened it and poured without ever really looking. :)

Also, I made THE-WORST-COFFEE-I-EVER-MADE-IN-MY-LIFE! (Except that time I was new at making coffee other than INSTANT tasters choice and used coffee that was already opened and sitting for years in the closet - that was the worst. And no one said anything. They didn't drink it either. I was so embarrassed.) So this was THE-WORST-COFFEE-I-EVER-MADE-IN-MY-LIFE since then. :)

I could smell how strong it was and then the spoon stood straight up in the middle of the mug. :) It was a different brand and I knew it said bold, but when I made it I still used heaping TBS when measuring. The ED staff I worked with liked their coffee strong and they would measure with slightly heaping TBS and I do the same when making my coffee. But, it didn't work out so well with this brand. I told them I was going to make another pot, but they insisted it was alright. And my m-i-l drinks it black. Fortunately for my aunt, I was able to save the day with a Baileys Irish creamer. However, I could not handle drinking the coffee, even with milk.

Other than these faux pas, the dinner was delicious and people went for seconds and more. That always warms a cook's heart. :) But, I don't know what I was thinking because I made wayyyyy to many vegetables and we have a 2nd corned beef roast left over. I filled the turkey roaster with the larger corned beef, 2 heads of cabbage quartered, handfuls of baby carrots and about 8 lbs of potatoes. Then boiling on the stove, the smaller corned beef and the rest of the vegetables. It was enough to feed an army. Guess what we're eating the rest of the week? :)

Even so, I commented to a friend ..I don't know how we'll eat all those potatoes and she suggested I make mashed potatoes out of them and so that will work. Mashed potatoes seem to go more quickly. Of course then you're eating all those potatoes. I am looking forward to making a Rubin sandwich though. Then I won't make corned beef until next St Patrick's day.

And true to form, I burned my hand again. My joke is you can tell I've been baking because there will be a new burn on my hand. It usually happens because apparently ...I have an aversion to oven mitts and pulling the oven rack out. I don't know why. But yesterday, I did use regular pot holders when I pulled the muffin tray out. Then it slipped and burned my index finger and blistered because I could not take time to apply ice at that point.

Oh and I always make Irish soda bread every year. Friday, I decided I would buy it, flipped the bag over to read the contents and when I saw all the additives, I decided that I could make it and would be all pure ingredients. I like it to come hot out of the oven for the meal, but since I was roasting the corned beef this year and at a different temperature ...decided to make it in miniature muffin form. They turned out great!

Then later ..just before people were going to leave ...little Wrenna appeared with no tops on. Remember ...she was our little Thanksgiving streaker (through the house for all to see) when we were having desserts? Well ... yesterday ...I was surprised she kept her clothes on so long! Ha ha! She never fails to entertain. :)

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Why I 'm Excited (on top) and Why I'm Not Singing Stent Free (down below) *REVISED*



(I did not intend to turn the background green and don't know why it happened. ? But ..since it's St Patrick's day, I guess it can stay.)

Okay and maybe I need to get a life if this excites me ...but it does. Ha ha!

Last night I finally decided to learn to upload pictures from my camera. In my defense ..the cord to my other camera was thrown out. Still ...I've had this awhile. Anyway, younger son showed me how to do all the things I want to do. Mind you ...I could've read the manual or watched the CD at anytime ...just never did.

I've been building albums in my private Facebook - and experimented in this blog.

I got so into it that I did not get to Costo last night because time flew by. Nor did I go yet today (I am annoyed at myself for doing this) and so now I HAVE to tear myself away, because we are having our family St Paddy's Day dinner tomorrow afternoon. Maybe I'll take a pic of the meal. I see Ramona's and Dr Deb's food pics all the time in FB and always want it for me too. :) Now I can do that if I want to. I don't have the phones that can do that. Everyone's phone pics look so neat and must be fun to do so spontaneously. I have a separate SeaSpray FB account and the med blogasphere folks are always putting up there posterous photos. They're always fun to look at. It is just so neat that I can view what they are seeing in another state or from another part of the world ..instantly if there to see it go up.

Off topic a minute... but, I am always reading in the ED blogs and I've seen it myself ..how people that can't afford to pay for Tylenol, etc, basic stuff ..have I-Phones, etc. I just don't get it. HOW do they do it?! Because, I have never felt I could splurge on the latest technology or even have an Internet account on my phone. And now ..I don't even have texting because I pared down my cell phone bill as far as I could. I'd think I died and went to heaven if I could have a laptop. Oh my. I'd so enjoy kicking back in comfort and reading all the blogs I want to, etc. :) And even when I am fortunate to have a good job, I will not be able to splurge on those things because there are other priorities, at least for a good while. How do they do it?

I just love that I can put up my family pictures or whatever tickles my fancy that I took. Now I can also more easily participate in WhiteCoat's, "Flat WhiteCoat'" daughter's project. :) I am wondering where this Jersey Girl can take Flat WhiteCoat. ? There is a part of me that really does want to share more personal photos and be more open with my life. But, admittedly ...I'm ambivalent. Maybe ...I just need to create a family blog - one with actual real time events a true diary with pics. This one has had so much of my medical experiences and I don't share it with most family.
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The Irish Cottage is packed today! I love the thatch roof on that place. I don't have any green to wear (except for Christmas) because green looks awful on me. Forrest green is doable - but not the best color. My living room is decorated with sage and I have some sea foam towels, but green is extremely rare for me to wear as it seems to sap the life right out of my face ...IMO. So ..I went with AQUA! :)

And NOW I can sing my "I'm STENT FREE" to the Free falling lyrics when I drive to Costco. ..um locally. I STILL played around with the pictures too long today. Um ...no now I'm not singing that with the sunroof open while driving locally. On the open highway or back roads is one thing ...but stop and go in local traffic ...not the same. Not with my Jerry McGuire talent singing. I've got all the enthusiasm ..just not the voice to be caught singing by someone I know or anyone while at a stop at a traffic light with windows open. I never sing loudly with windows down locally and Murphy's Law dictates it would go viral on YouTube for sure if caught. ;)

I don't dare go near this computer until later ...AFTER all my errands and chores are done.

Oh and what a GORGEOUS day it is!

Enjoy your weekend! :)

Thursday, March 15, 2012

One Year Ago Tonight - Pre-OR Squirrelly & Tomorrow - HAPPY I Am Still Ureteral STENT FREE:)



When I leave to go down to Costco in a bit, I'm gonna play this song blasting, with the sun roof open, my hair blowing all over, while singing ..."And I'm FREEEEE ...STENT FREE ..EEEE ..eee ... and I'm FREEEEE ...STENT FREE ..EEEE ..eee! " ;)

(This post was written last night and today - St Patrick's Day. OOPS! Correction! Actually, with leap year, St Patrick's Day is tomorrow. Sooo ..then ...what I thought was a year ago tonight (last night) is really a year ago TONIGHT. And when I thought I was celebrating being stent Free on St Patrick's Day ..TODAY ...is really celebrating being stent free on St Patrick's Day TOMORROW. Okay, this is messing with my mind now and I have to get out the door soon. LEAP YEAR! Bottom line, St Patrick's Day is now my stent free celebration day. :)

One year ago tonight ...at about this time ...I was writing this post - "Surgery by Candlelight."

It's a humorous post (says me - it's how I vent :), about how I was feeling squirrelly about going into the OR the next morning to have the ureteral stent removed. And y-e-e-s-s-s ...I know ...for a frequent flier to the OR who knows the drill ...one would think ORs are blase for me by now ...but, they are not. And I'm pretty certain it's about the whole getting nekkid somewhere on my body and surrendering my control. Breezy would be fun ...if I didn't dread the loss of control. Heh ...I can be breezy sans medication ..magnify that and ..oh boy ..what DID I say??? :) Basically, I have this whole routine I do at home ...my own kind of OR prepping, before going into the OR. Okay that sounds weird - a patient having an OR routine. You expect the OR staff to have an OR routine. Not so much the patient.

However, thanks to that one big kidney stone that that got stuck in my ureter back in May, 2004 ...this patient became a frequent flier to the OR. Why couldn't it be a frequent flier to a beach house? I'm just sayin. Yeah ...that's it. You get a horrible kidney stone and the way to get rid of it and stay healed is the surgeon tells you to go the the beach and you must have repetitive visits to a beach house on the ocean. This is because inhaling the salt air and becoming one with the sea would facilitate a supernatural salt water osmosis process causing stones to dissolve internally, while simultaneously preventing any ureteral scarring. Something like that. I mean, urologists learn that in Basic Urology 101 ...right? Oh! And once your health insurance deductible is met, insurance pays at the UCR rates for your beach area until you hit catastrophic, at which point they will cover the beach house visits at 100% for the rest of the calendar year. A SeaSpray can dream. ;)

But ...I digress.

So a year ago tonight, I wrote the Surgery by Candlelight post. By the way, I still support that idea. After all ...ambiance and additional privacy facilitated by low light is everything. ;)

And tomorrow is St Patrick's day. Happy St Patrick's day!

This day now has another significance for me and that is it is now my one year anniversary since I had the mother of all ureteral stents removed. One whole year and I am still stent free ...YEEHA!

It is important to me because I had a ureteral stricture relapse after only 7 months post stent removal. And that just never happened before. As a matter of fact ...I was so taken by surprise that I truly thought I had a kidney stone. I was genuinely shocked and then grieved over it.

BUT ....here I am at 12 months post stent removal. :) And like I stated in a post last summer ...for the first time ever since this all happened, my lasix renal scan I had last June showed that kidney function in my right kidney went up a little. I take that as an encouraging sign. Thankfully, my left kidney has never had stones and all is well. My right kidney could keep me off dialysis ..but each time I had the ureteral stricture relapse ...function went down, even though I had been stented. It did not after this last time. It went up a bit. That never happened before. 'Tis a good thing. :)

I believe all healing comes from God and that while miracles do happen, he usually works through physicians to facilitate healing. I know I've said this many times before, but I am so very grateful to my wonderful urologist for working with me on this. I am also very grateful he gave me the option of having a larger stent put in after the smaller one was removed.

I know many people (4 surgeons, some family and friends) believed I should have the ureteral reconstructive surgery. I've just NEVER had the green light in my spirit. I tried to. Okay, one day I even said I did, but I think that was just me trying to be positive. The light went Red again. It would've been a high risk surgery that I just was not willing to do. I am so grateful that I have had more time with my family, was here to see our new grandson and able to be available for my dear friend, Iris, to get her to most of her appointments while she was being treated for stage IV lung cancer. I am so glad we spent all that time together.

I'm just so grateful I did not have to do it then. Admittedly ...there are some other time frames I have to surpass in which relapse did occur, but, I am healed and I thank God for that. I thank my urologist for listening to my concerns and working with me. God knows ...that dear urodoc has done everything in his power to help me and I know has gone the extra ten miles to facilitate healing in me, been patient with this patient and emotionally supportive as well.

And let me tell you ...I paid my dues with that big stent. It was uncomfortable with a capital "U"! And it was in longer than we initially planned ..so that by the time it did come out ...I was soooooooooooooo ready to be de-stented. I know ...I made up another word. I like it. :) And I am so glad it worked out that way. I would do it again in a heartbeat if it meant keeping me forever away from that surgery. But, I won't have to because I believe this is it. I'm done. :)

My urologist cleared me last summer, based on the renal scan and I am still happy about that. :)

If the stent didn't, work ..then the writing would be on the wall for me. And ...I know ...some of you that are familiar with my case ...think you've seen that writing on the wall and that I just did not get to that room yet. Anyway, THAT stent would do it or nothing else would. I know that. Unless ...they came up with a new kind of stent that had a coating that permanently dissolved scarring along the ureter while in there ..I'm just saying ...or some new minimally invasive uro procedure that could do the same.

And because I am a person of faith ...I seriously believe in miracles. I always did. I know God heals directly, through physicians and medicine and sometimes never. I also think that even though medical intervention is needed ..the actual *healing* process is done by God. Also, I don't pretend to know the mind of God. But, since last winter ...something clicked ..after I read a particular book which inspired me to strengthen my faith that God healed me and then last summer ...another book has greatly impacted me on that subject. I will at some point share about those two books. I think that regardless of your position about God, you will find the stories to be compelling and certainly something to contemplate. I have been applying the principals to my own situation and I believe they help.

I would also say that just because a person is not healed ...does not mean God failed or does not care about a person. Sometimes things happen for reasons beyond our understanding and we just have to trust it will ultimately have a good outcome ...for a higher purpose.

However, while I am mindful of the need and thankful for medical intervention ...I wholeheartedly believe it is key to remain positive and believe God can, does and will heal a person and in this case me. It's in his hands now and I will just continue to thank him for healing me. My urologist cleared me last summer, based on the renal scan and I wholeheartedly embrace his words, based on my test results. :)

Excuse to Slap ;)

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, "MOSQUITO!" ;)

Just another something I saw on Facebook.

It could work ...I'm just sayin. :)

(Author unknown - emphasis mine)

Sunday, March 11, 2012

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We had a great family day celebrating Mr SeaSpray's birthday today. I'm glad he is over the worst of his cold now.
We missed having Aunt Margie. She is still under the weather a bit from her cold too. We sent a plate of dinner with birthday cake over to her and a get well card that we all signed. Little Wrenna had the most to write on the card (She was so serious about what she was writing - too cute :) and Devan signed her name for her on her "writing." :)
We had chicken Parmesan, vegetables, angel hair pasta and warm wholegrain Italian bread. Mom (Jim's mom) made his birthday cake. It's been tradition for all these years that she makes most of the birthday cakes - YUMMY. (Her birthday is next ...at the end of the month:) I like mine the best because I have a June birthday and so she always makes me either a strawberry and whip cream angel food cake or a Hawaiian wedding cake (pineapple, whip cream and pudding, etc.) and I love them both. Jim's was chocolate cake, chocolate pudding and vanilla icing.

I had THREE pieces! With ice cream. But that is because ...when I left the area the first two times ...Faith ..our dog ..jumped up and took them! It is a new bad habit she started a couple of months ago. So ..I finally got my THIRD piece of cake. Yeah ...that's it ..I had THREE pieces of cake because of *the dog*... never mind I did have some bites out of the first two. ;)

2 1/2 yr old Wrenna ..after just sitting down to eat dinner ..exclaimed, "I L-O-V-E din-ner!" And was continually appreciative through the whole meal ..so sweet. Devan ..still our official cake tester of the icing ...once again gave us her approval that the cake was edible. Another birthday tradition we have. And Myles ...as cute as ever. He was singing a lot when he first got here ..so cute.:) And a bit fussy at the end ..probably tired. I love that he almost fell asleep on me when I was rocking him ..but had to get up. Later ..Devan handed her Pa pa his birthday gifts. She's always such a good helper. The girls each made him birthday pictures and he always saves every card and picture they make. Who says men aren't sentimental? :) And then their Dad Jonathan ..helped me with the birthday cake. he always brings the cake out singing "Happy Birthday" louder than anyone (Thankfully the apple fell far from the tree and he CAN carry a tune :), and keeps the last note going until all the candles are burned out. Love it! Uncle Chris ..as always was great playing with his nieces and nephew. And Peggy (our d-i-l) is a great cook and so it warmed my heart knowing she thought the chicken Parm was good. She can cook for me any day. I WANT some of her Chicken Marsala cause I know it has to be some kind of good ..all her stuff is. I LOVE Chicken Marsala. Actually ...I like wine in cooking better than drinking it. :) And I got some great shots on the video camera. And when they were leaving ...little Wrenna had to run back just to say she loved me and good bye again and then she shouts it from the van. She's got me wrapped around her little pinky finger I tell you. Ha! they ALL do. :)

And I was mindful that it was Aunt Dee's Birthday today. I really missed her and my mom being here. Hopefully they got a peek from above. I think God somehow works it out that our loved ones see the special moments. I remember hearing Billy Graham saying that once.

Life has sure presented some challenges these last 6 yrs ...but I'm so grateful for all the blessings we still have.

Well ..gotta go - watching the Apprentice. I DO love that show! And the kids will be here in the morning and I need to be bright eyed and bushy tailed when they get here. Night. :)

PS - Apprentice over. I really wish Adam didn't get fired. I'll miss his humor. Boy he's funny. Gotta give him credit though ...he felt he should take the hit for the team because he was the project manager, even though he did a good job.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

:)

A Different Dental Experience

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I went in to have a tooth that was just worked on, reevaluated. I am having a hard time biting down on it. I do believe it needs a cap and instead he used composite to just fill the broken side. It looks good ...but I get this odd sensation that prevents me from wanting to eat on that side. Monday will be 3 weeks since the work was done. He said it is stable. I know what I feel and the last time I went through this, a tooth broke. I will talk about that when I write the serious post about all of this.

Anyway ...he ended up working on another tooth ...also broken on the inside ..that the other dentist has refused to cap ..stating, "Lets just watch it and see how it does." This doc ..at least filled it with composite and it looks better and will at least be stronger.

So ..that job was more involved yesterday.

I l-o-a-t-h-e being at the dentist. I am definitely anxious about anything a dentist would do to me. Ah ...see my choice of words. "Do TO me." A dentist is working FOR you. And I greatly appreciate their services. It's just ..just like the first two times my first urologist YANKED those stents out in his office ...set me up to be forever guarded about any procedures done in clinic vs under anesthesia. So ...it is with the BAD dental experiences. It mostly goes well ...but you just never know when you will be subjected to the most excruciating pain.

For me the absolute worst was the night my main dentist was doing a root canal. He intentionally touched the nerve to see if I'd react. OMG! I cried out, tears instantly streamed down my face (happened with the ureteral stent removal too) while simultaneously slipping down into the dental chair. He did apologize ...but that jaded me forever.

Admittedly ...I am one of those patients that you have to assist her in prying her fingers off the dental chair when it's over.

So, yesterday it was his partner that was going to do this work. Just as he was about to do the Novocaine ..I said .."Wait!" and proceeded to tell him to please use plenty of Novocaine because I really am very sensitive to dental work. He said everyone is and that he would.

BUT ...the last time I was there he didn't use enough and I could feel it a little and his assistant told me he uses as little as possible. I want as much as is truly needed so I don't feel a thing.

Anyway ...this dentist is sooooo gentle in my mouth. It is like a feather is doing the work. He had to drill. She had to do the suction thing. I had to hold my mouth open. He had to put that clamp on, etc.

The FUNNY thing is that this SeaSpray who is mortified ..totally anxious and non trusting of what will happen when dental work is going on ...almost fell ASLEEP. That just NEVER happens.

I was soooo relaxed, enjoying their conversation and he was amazing working in my mouth. In the past ...even though I am numb ...it always feels like a construction crew is working in there. Yanking, drilling, pushing, etc. But, not yesterday. Instead, I was right at that point between reality and falling asleep and was not gripping the chair as I always do. It was like someone cast a spell over me.

But then ...I suddenly cried out in pain! Because the drill slipped and put a little hole in my upper lip. He said he was sorry. The whole time I was wondering, Is it a scar ..is it bleeding?" And it stung. Is it any wonder I feel apprehensive about going to the dentist?

It feels better today and did heal over. 'Tis a good thing. The tooth looks good. Despite the drill accident ...I prefer this new partner over my other dentist. And I really am pretty sure my dentist has opted not to fix things because he wants to keep my ins money. But, more on that another time. And why stay? Because he is only one in the area on this dental plan. But, I haven't checked on that in a few years and so I should again.

I have a lot to say about my experiences and admittedly was a bit slow on the uptake. But, I prefer to think the best of someone and so it takes me awhile to acknowledge a situation. Plus ...I trust doctors to do what is best for me and to care. It's weird how fairly recently ...my eyes have been opened to some ...less then stellar medical experiences. Which I knew ..logically ..we all know that there are quality and not so quality people in every profession. I just have had way more positive experiences and I am grateful for that.

And I do hesitate in writing something negative. But, I have written mostly from a patient perspective in this blog. Mostly positive ...downright GLOWING about some physicians and medical experiences. However, if I am honest with my writing ...then I should tell the other side too.

Anyway ...except for the drill incident ...this dentist really feels like a feather is working in my mouth and that is simply amazing.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Does Life Get Any Better? :)



Awww ...look at little Wrenna ...wearing her glam glasses ...her little hand clasping her cake pop.

Total bliss I tell you. :)

I LOVE this picture.

The world must be so AMAZING when you're two.

"Upside Down ...Like a BAT!"

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That is what Mr SeaSpray said about his experience in the dental chair last night. He said he went into the exam room at 6pm and didn't come out until 7:30 pm. He had to have an impression done to get a cap made and then have a temporary cap made and filed down.

He said the dentist had him reclined all the way back ...so that he was almost upside down. That's understandable because he needed to work in the upper mouth area. But, the dentist continually left ..stating he'd be back in a minute. But, he didn't return for long periods of time. However, he never put Mr SeaSpray right side up or at least elevate his upper body somewhat. Of course Mr SeaSpray could've asked them to do that. He didn't. I don't know why. So for at least an hour and probably longer ...he was in that, "Upside down ...like a BAT position."

The last time I had that particular dentist to have some work done, he did the same thing to me. He never did it before and I've been going to him for over a decade. Well ...after about 15 minutes ...I called out to someone, anyone that could hear me because I was uncomfortable. The assistant came in, apologized and elevated me. Then the next time he left, I asked him to please elevate me more and he did.

But, what the heck? Is that to save time? Save electricity? Why would anyone leave their patients upside down? Is it even good for you? I used to purposely stand on my head for periods of time when I was in my teens and twenties. I thought it was good to do ..a Yoga thing. But not for an hour straight. I suppose it helps circulation ...but what about all the blood in your head now? I would think it might be harder to pump the blood back up through your body if left that way for an extended period of time. And what if you're hypertensive - does that matter? I'm just wondering. ???

Monday, March 5, 2012

Why I Pulled the POst ...Temporarily

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I've temporarily pulled the dental post because writing it is more involved than I have time for now. It involves a series of events going back at least 7 -8 years. I never want to think the worst of someone. And certainly not a DOCTOR! That I go to ...TRUSTING him to do the right thing for me ..to do what is best. But, ever since one incident ..then followed by others ...it would seem my instincts have been right. (NOW, I also wonder if he did the right things for my husband. ? i did not realize something about Mr SeaSpray's dental work, until the other day. ) It is EXTREMELY awkward for me to have to deal with. I wish I had the courage other people would have. I actually want to be wrong ...but then this latest thing has me wondering all over again ...about their office policies. Even though it involved a partner a couple of weeks ago, who took me in as an emergency because I broke a tooth. I actually liked him and almost wrote a dental post afterward, entitled, "Feather in My Mouth", because he was THAT good. When he finished ..I ...the always anxious dental patient said, "That's It?! We're DONE?!" I couldn't believe he did any work in my mouth and secretly wanted to switch to him on the spot. Actually ..I said it to his assistant ..and again ..AWKWARD. But ..hurt feelings aren't what this post is going to be about. It is about violated trust. Taking advantage of a patient. Conflict of interest. I want to be wrong, but I just don't see how it can be any other way.

NOW ...it turns out because he did not do what I believed I needed ..it will cost me more ...because now I will have to pay for the resin surface and now a cap. When it should've been the cap in the first place. If he says no I will get a second opinion outside the office ..even if I have to pay for it. I think I understand now why my files were mysteriously "LOST" a few yrs back and why ... I heard the partner and his assistant comment that 2 other broken teeth are not notated in my current chart.. and now those fillings are lose. I am getting way ahead of myself now.

I called today, to inform that I cannot even eat a grape or oatmeal on this tooth, which means I am now having to eat everything on the other side of my mouth... which has the loose fillings I was told to wait to be evaluated for when I go in for my cleaning at the end of the month.

I am going in to see the Partner on Friday. In the mean time ...I am going to look for other things I've written about my dental experiences that I didn't post (will save me writing time) in which I questioned his telling me to "wait" regarding treatment ...all that I went through as a result.

There is that saying ..about the Foo foo bird ...you know ..the bird that leaves that surprise on your head and so you say .."Shame on him." But, if he leaves that surprise on your head again, "Shame on me." Well ...it would seem that I've allowed that bird to leave the surprise again ...and again ..and again ...and again ...and well you get the picture ...probably better than I do ..even at this point ...because ...I DON'T want to believe it.

So ..when I gather all my info ...both written and after calling insurance company and my next office visit ...I will write about it. And if I am wrong ...I will happily tell you so. Sadly ...infuriatingly ...I don't think I am though.

To be continued ...

Thursday, March 1, 2012

My FB Post - Gemini and Pisces DO Mix - About Birthdays, etc.

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Iris and me. I actually grew to 5'8" (an inch taller as adults) - funny how much difference a year makes when you're little.


The following post is something I just put up in fb today and so yes ...getting a 2 for 1 post today. And yes ..I know we're not supposed to write much in FB, but briefly comment. I'm still a blogger at heart and always will be - writing is a passion for me. I had better get making that stew beyond browning the meat or for dinner, Mr SeaSpray is going to have chunks of meat with a side of vegetables on a plate ...with raw brownie soup for dessert. ;)
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Sharing my heart (Birthday wishes for husband and friend): Happy Birthday to my husband Jim. He doesn't know it, but I am surprising him with stew (he's such a carnivore :) and Ghiardelli (sp?) brownies for dinner tonight. We are having our family celebration on Sunday and I am thinking I will make chicken Parmesan because he loved it a couple of weeks ago when I made it. My family never did a lot to celebrate birthdays. We exchanged birthday presents and had cake ...but it was pretty uneventful. Jim's family has always made EVERY birthday a special event and I LOVE it! We all do. :)

And Devan, now 10 has been the official birthday cake tester since she was about 3. before we cut the cake ..she tests the icing using her finger (she gets that slice) and has always given her approval that the cake was good and ready to eat. :) I have so many cute pics and videos of her doing that. I imagine she will be passing this important job down to Wrenna pretty soon. :)

And Happy Birthday to my dear friend Iris, in heaven now. Hey I, do you remember the time I made a birthday cake for you and Jim? to have after dinner and you were both in early 30s and so I put 65 candles on the cake ...and by the time I got it over to the table to sing and have you guys blow out the candles ..it was like one big flame was shooting up from the middle of the cake and the fire alarm went off, but we still did it. We were concerned and laughed so hard. I have that pic somewhere. :)

Yes ...I actually stopped to take a picture *before* they blew the cake fire out.:)

Also, I don't follow astrology at all, but if I had any doubt ...all I have to do is remember that the astrological advice for a Gemini is that they are not compatible with a Pisces and yet my husband and lifelong friend are Pisces. Air and water don't mix. That sure wasn't true.

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Friends forever :)

Anyway ...I do *love and miss* you my friend. And when you see your parents or my Mom and family and Mrs Berry (the lady that led us to salvation in Christ when we were little girls of 9 and 10) - give them a big hug from me and tell them thank you for all that they did for and meant to me down here. :)

I imagine the birthday celebration up there is awesome. Desserts heavenly perfection and non caloric too ...of course :)