Wednesday, June 27, 2012
That happened to me once. I remember being on my side ...being upset - gagging and the low florescent lighting in the room ...or it was from the computer screens ...not sure ...and then being back in my area again ...feeling just fine. May tomorrow's procedure be uneventful ...please.
I'm already anticipating being NPO at midnight.
I've previously written that I get all squirelly at the idea of not being able to drink water and will become instantly thirsty ...even though I will have consumed so much water just prior to midnight.
That is what I have learned to do to be sure I am hydrated as much as possible for any surgery/procedure. I had been such a frequent flier to the OR thanks to urology issues that I actually developed a pre-OR home routine. (I've written about it elsewhere.) Drink all day/night to be so hydrated that I won't be thirsty. Just before midnight I drink down about 32 oz of water. Don't care about the food ...but cannot stand thirst. I am just like the person who feels the tickle before even being touched ...I get thirsty at just the thought of water deprivation. I know ...WEIRD. And I REALLY want that forbidden fruit ...um water. Totally psychological on my part. Sometimes I am like a camel during the day and don't drink ...either because I get busy and forget or I don't want to think abut bathrooms when I'm out ...and I don't feel like I will die of thirst ...even if I am thirsty. And ...I know ...that behavior is not advisable if trying to avoid kidney stones. At least I'm not as bad as I used to be with that.
Anyway ...earlier this week, I was in the dental chair ...feeling tense and miserable because I loathe having work done at the dentist and I was thinking how I would rather have the EGD. And I hate that too... because I remember gagging when I had one before. Still ...better than the dentist office ...I'm just sayin. Heck ...I'd almost rather have a in clinic ureteral stent removal over being in the dental chair. Although, the operative word there is "almost" ...but, not really.
So ..why the EGD? I've had stomach pain since last November and finally decided to get checked out earlier this month. It was intermittent and I thought maybe it was just having medication and coffee on empty stomach in the morning. But, even when I realized it wasn't ...I didn't act on it because it was not all the time. And I forgot to tell him when I had a routine colonoscopy in December.
But then by spring ...I began having nausea every day and by May ...all day and feeling intestinal... so much so that I was concerned about attending son's graduation - but ..thankfully ...no problem that day.
It reminded me of how I had nausea every day ...all day in March 2009 until June 2009. I thought it may've had something to do with my inadvertently drinking my mother's cat's water ..that I picked something up.
(I know - I never did put that post up. I had forgotten about that funny story. I only remembered recently when reviewing copies of my med recs from my retired pcp that I picked up from new pcp's office. What must my new pcp have thought when he read my former pcp's letter to the gastro doc referring to my drinking the cat's water? And what must the gastro doc have thought when he read it? And then ...I referred to it when I went in to see him in a recent follow up visit and I saw him holding back a grin and his eyes betraying his amusement as well. Why don't doctors just laugh? It is so much more weird when you see they want to ...but are holding it in. I'd laugh with them. :)
Anyway ...back in March 2009, former pcp did have me do a parasite test which came back negative. Tested for ovarian cancer ...also negative. Suggested I have a colonoscopy to gastro doc, but because everything functioning normally, and I wasn't due for one yet since I had a normal routine one in 2006 ...he didn't have me do that. He thought that because I had been experiencing stress with profound emotions over my mother's decline in health and all that entailed, during the last 8 months of her life and then her dying that April ...that it might be emotional in origin. He said that he felt it in his stomach when his parents died. I did get better ...until last November ...except in November ...the pain - like stomach spasms, was new. Stomach pain that did pass after a few minutes.
He recently thought maybe it was IBS. I also explained that my friend of 52 years, Iris ...died last October. And that I have other stresses/concerns in my life as well. I will say ...it is interesting that it started in November ...only a month after her passing.
He had me take samples of Nexium ...one each morning. The nausea left ...for the most part and so did the intestinal part. Not 100% ...but much better ...until recently. He decided to do the EGD because it hurt when he pressed on my stomach above my navel. Sometimes it hurts ..like a tender discomfort feeling.
If this is stress related then I have got to focus on more positive things more often. I KNOW what to do ...but ...I guess I still feel too much ...emotionally speaking. And I have some wonderful blessings in my life. Then the negative is significant and I think I always have this undercurrent of things I have concerns about. I keep a lot of things in that I don't discuss. Wish I could ...but, I can't.
See ...even now ...thinking about a more recent event ...I feel my stomach churning ...tense churning. I never used to be that way. And I have been through a thing or two in my life. So ...why now? Why are things getting to me now? I know in the physical and spiritual ...I have to reject negativity and embrace spiritual, emotional and physical healing. All things are possible with God. I really do believe that.
Anyway ...if anyone feels inclined to do so ...your prayers and positive thoughts are appreciated. :)
It's now 01:40 and finally going to bed. The down side to drinking so much water just before midnight is that you might as well sleep in the bathroom. NOW ...I'd appreciate a foley catheter. ;)
And a big ice cold glass of water. :)
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Happy Father's Day to all the DADS out there!
Happy Father's Day to Mr SeaSpray and to our older son! Mr SeaSpray and I are very proud of what a terrific DAD our son is with his three children. He is a definite ...DAD ..in every way ...and loves them so much. :)
Here is a link to an interesting article, "A Father's Love is One of the Greatest Influences on Personality Development"
Fathers and stepfathers, grandfathers, and uncles ...you are so important in the lives of the young children and adolescents you know. You are important during their formative years ...right into adult hood. (I loved my grandfather and uncles ...so very much. I never stopped learning from them and I wish I could still talk with them.) Even a male neighbor/friend ...a teacher ...men from all walks of life ...you can take a fatherless child under your protective, mentoring wing.
Do your children have some friends that don't have dads in their lives? Include them when you do family activities. You probably do since they are your child's friend. But, give them some fatherly attention. I was blessed to have my girlfriend's father, Uncle Charlie in my life. He was such a wonderful role model for me.
He was Iris' father. I've written about her before ...that from the time I was four and she was five ...when they came down to their summer house at the shore ...she and I were together practically every day ...all day until after dark. We were like two peas in a pod ...practically inseparable. Her parents included me in everything. I was always riding somewhere in the back seat of their Cadillac. Her Dad always drove a Cadillac for as long as I knew him. He even drove Mr SeaSpray and me to our wedding reception ...in his Cadillac. :)
For 11 summers, I was blessed to have his influence in my life almost every day , until I moved up here. He was always teaching, guiding and helping with something. And the rare times Iris and I would have a fight ...he'd diplomatically help resolve it ...usually ..in her favor. Ha ha! But, he was so good at it ...I'd surrender pretty easily.
Does anyone remember when the boardwalk arcades had these wooden crane machines that for a penny ...you could guide the crane over these little tiny plastic treasures you hoped it would pick up and it almost always picked the little toys up. (Today ...they usually drop most things) Anyway, after we got home one night we couldn't wait to go sit on her little wooden picnic table on their back porch to play with our new little toy treasures. (I wish they still had those machines :) It turned out that I had a little plastic blue fish and she had a pink one. We both liked the blue better. Blue was always my favorite color. She wanted it. I wouldn't give it up. A squabble ensued. But, Uncle Charlie came to the rescue. He diplomatically talked me into wanting the pink fish. Then...with the conflict resolved ...we happily resumed playing with our little toy charms. I don't think that was a good lesson for his daughter ...but I'm pretty sure ...I learned diplomacy from him over the years. He was a very patient man. He'd have to be to have put up with some of my crazy teenage shenanigans and daredevil stunts. He was so devoted to his daughter. I've never seen any father so committed as he was.
Last summer, while Iris was going through all the cancer tests and treatments, I was helping her ...every way I could and was with her as much as possible. I was floored when one day she said to me, "Patty ...no one has treated me as good as you do. You're like my FATHER!" I have to tell you ...that was the ultimate compliment ...because her father was amazing. And she said it to me twice last summer. I didn't expect it. I was doing what my heart told me to do. I am so glad I did.
Well ...I didn't intend to go in that direction. Or even talk about my friend's Dad. I could tell you so many good stories stories about him. I guess ...this makes my point that even if you are not related to a child ...you can still have a positive and lifelong influence on them. Or even if a child has a father ...sometimes they may not be the best influence on their own child. Mine would not have been had my mom stayed with him. So ...I would say to all the good men ...you never know who is watching you or in need of some fatherly guidance and support. Of course your own children are your number one priority ..but ...if you can ...make room for a few more kids every now and then.
And if you happen to be a man who has made mistakes with his children ...we all do in varying degrees. There are no perfect parents. It is never too late to do the right things ...the important things that make the difference between a loving dad and just a sperm donor.
And if you have had the blessing of having a fatherly role model in your life that you aren't related to ...if you haven't already ...give him/them a call today or as soon as you can ..to say "Thank You" for the positive ways he/they impacted your life. It's always a good feeling to know you've helped another person. He may be surprised ...but also happy to know how you feel and that he made a difference.
I am so glad that I often told Uncle Charlie how special he was to me while growing up. He would graciously say ..."Well ...THANK you-u-u!" and I think may've felt a bit awkward (like men can sometimes be when feelings are involved), but I could see he did appreciate it. :)
I had no idea I would go off in this direction of writing. I was so blessed to have had my uncles and grandfather ...and even a dear marriage counselor when I was in my early thirties ...who also took me under his wing in a very special way. we talked about my past too and I feel that due to his excellent counseling ...I grew up in his office too as he also facilitated healing regarding my childhood abandonments. I realize now that he even parented me concerning current issues at the time.
Even though I did not always have the benefit of my father in my life ...I know that God put me on the hearts of the other special men that have been in my life at different times and for that ...for them ... I shall be eternally grateful.
My birthday is always around Father's day. It would've been neat to have a DAD that we could've celebrated our special days together sometimes. A barbecue is always nice in June. Men are often the grill masters and cookouts are always fun. :) But ...it just wasn't to be ...I guess. (I never thought about that until recent years) Anyway ...I wrote about my father in June 2008 that you can read HERE ...if you'd like to know about him. I think I said all I know about him in that post - not much.
"Anyone can be a father... but it tales a special person to be a DAD." ~unknown ~
Saturday, June 16, 2012
That previous post was inadvertently published. I was actually writing it for my fb coworker friends to see regarding the luncheon we just attended and I want to suggest submitting a photo and story for our local paper. But ..because too tired now and want to tweak it ..I decided to move it to my ss drafts ..but hit publish instead of drafts. OOPS! Anyway ..I do think it's a nice idea - don't know if all will agree tho. :)
It is such a beautiful, sunny day and I finally feel like moi again (since the renal scan). I just don't know what to do first ...after blogging with my morning coffee. I was going to go out to get flowers at Home Depot and then down to Costco. But ...it's so nice and sunny ...I think it will be a pool day instead ...after chores. And because I like to streamline errands - I will go to Costco after church tomorrow and then Home Depot on Monday, after an afternoon doctor appointment. And so today ...is a day at home to do whatever. It will involve playing loud music while doing chores (no one here :) and on a day like this ...Credence Clearwater Revival (reminds me of happy weekend times at my aunt and uncle's lake house) and the Beach Boys for sure. (I see the Beach Boys have a hit that is number 3 this week from their new album and they still sound great. I always feel so upbeat when I hear their music. Of course ...it is also synonymous with the shore and I also think of my dear friend Iris. it is my first summer since I was 4 without her. That might have something to do with my not wanting to go in the pool too. It just feels like something big is missing and I admittedly didn't feel the same joy with opening the pool this year. Ha! How's that for a 2 cent self analysis? That is probably the real reason. Okay ...and so now I am past it. Identify ...and move on.
Older son and family are driving out to Ohio as I type to spend time with d-i-l's family. What a great traveling day! Oh and I just have to share this with you. Little 3 year old Wrenna is so excited about the trip that she was telling everyone, "I'm going to OH-HI-NO." Ha ha! Kids are so cute! :)
Okay ...you twisted my cyber arm. I'll share one more Wrenna comment. This was a conversation between Wren and her mom.
"me: wrenna! hey! i love you!
wrenna: hey i wub you too! *long sigh* how's it going?"
My birthday is Monday, but since some family is away ...we will celebrate Father's Day and my birthday next Sunday.
Hey ...does that mean that I can stay 56 for another week?! ;)
Friday, June 15, 2012
This is my first Mag III Lasix Renal Scan picture.
Okay ...so I don't REALLY have clouds swimming around in my renal area. ;)
But, it is the first in a series that I took of the whole process.
I do have more pictures to post of the actual test, etc. Actually, even though I took pictures all the way through, I'm having second thoughts in case anything is identifying of staff or myself. However, I will post some of the testing process.
I've saved the BEST for last.
I did get news that the report was good. I don't know anything beyond that. But ...good is not bad. Good is not questionable. Good is good. I prefer great. But ...I'll sure take the good.
I don't know if my renal function in my right kidney went up at all. I am real curious to know about that. because if it went up at all ...then good actually is great. if it stayed the same ...that is good ...and actually ...even that is great. It's safe to assume it did not decrease ...or there would be concern ...and therefore would not be good.
I will be having my consult July 30th. I could've gotten in sooner, but I am going to be busy over the next month or so. Besides ...it will give me time to type up some questions or think of others ..since I am guessing I will have no need to go back for awhile after that appointment. I do have something extremely important to discuss with Urodoc so I can have a better perspective in making an important decision.
And of course ...he will give me the next plan.
It does feel like it is winding down.
That was always the goal.
But ...I will miss my doctor and all the staff I've come to know. Staff has always been so helpful, sweet, supportive and even fun. believe me ...it is not always that way in other medical offices. Sometimes I have wondered if the doctors know how uncaring/unfriendly their people are in some other offices. ? But that is another post.
And ....I shall be forever and ever and ever and ever and ever ...and ever grateful to my terrific doc and his partners and staff ...but mostly to him ...for everything he has done to facilitate healing in me and be the support person he was for me through all of this journey. He truly has been a physician that went the extra mile for me so many times. I never expected it ...although admittedly loved it. It wasn't just his professionalism that impressed me ...but his kindness with even little things he did. I was blessed to have been so well cared for when things were at the scariest for me. :) Believe me ...when I 100% know that I know that we are done and he cans say permanently healed ...I will be writing quite the thank you note. :)
And of course as always ...I thank God for all healing. :)
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Was trying to find a radiology picture and surprised how many pictures uro/radiology are linked to this blog already and so just went with video. :)
Scan seemed uneventful ...even when Lasix administered.
I asked tech to stay with me after Lasix administered because they usually leave at that point and for a bit and I was concerned that if pain significant, I'd need cloth on my forehead and someone nearby. Only happened once with first renal scan, but I figured given my uro history ...this might be a difficult scan.
Because I anticipated possibly being more sore this time during test, I did take a pain med which may explain the "uneventful" ...but, more on that later.
Kidney REALLY aching now.
Pretty sure I could draw an outline of my kidney on outer flank based on what I feel right now. I know exactly where kidney is.
I think it got a workout today.
It's been a year and so I've forgotten what it feels like with this test.
Don't recall it hurting this much after scan ...but like I said ..been awhile.
I will post more.
Going to bed.
Also going to sleep late ...I hope.
Busy ...long busy day/night ...although mostly fun.
Oh ...and for first time ...I kept camera on my chest and so took pictures of renal scan process.
May post them.
Depends how they turn out when I view. Will need to enlarge renal scan screen pictures.
02:22 - Kidney aching more.
Was watching "The Five."
Now ...going to bed. :)
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Renal scan pic
Yes ...I'm hearing Renal Scan #10 to the tune of Mambo #5 in my head. Maybe someday ...I'll make up my own lyrics to the tune. So ...upbeat ...for getting a scan. ;)
I get a Mag III lasix renal scan today as a follow up to last Junes renal scan. That scan was taken 3 months post ureteral stent removal. Post the mother of all ureteral stents removal. The renal scan report at that time revealed that my r kidney function (the one with the hydronephrosis) went up a bit. That was good news and I took it as a good sign, because it was the first time my r. kidney function ever went up after having had a relapse with a completely closed off ureteral stricture.
And so now ...here I am ...15 months post ...the mother of all ureteral stents removal. The last time I relapsed with a stricture was only after 7 months post stent removal and so I am encouraged that I have gone this long. It is true that I did have the first stricture 18 months months post stent removal and so I see that as the number to beat.
I do have a concern though. I have recently had a great stress - heartbreaking ...frustrating and maddening. All loved ones are alright and so nothing bad like that, but it is very disturbing to me and tonight I felt like I couldn't breathe (that never happened to me before) and I know it was from the stress of it. It is a heavy weight to carry and I can't talk about it. I wish I could ...believe me. I hope that these strong emotions can't affect my test results. I know there is a strong connection between mind and body.
However ...aside from that stress, I've been sincerely encouraged by last years results (increased function and urodoc didn't need to see me for a year) and so I'm believing this time ...I am healed.
By the way ...the number 10 is the number of completion and so perhaps it is symbolic that healing is complete.
I pray that is so.
I would appreciate any prayers about this from anyone so inclined to pray.
Have a great day!
Sunday, June 3, 2012
This is EXQUISITELY FUNNY!
Gotta love those HELLACIOUS ER Shifts. ;)
Hat tip to Dr WhiteCoat for finding this one.
I've been missing medical humor ...which is main thing that drew me into med blogs in the first place. Yes ...I was looking up uro information initially ...but I just love medical humor - simply exquisite.
I really need to get back out into med blogdom and start bog surfing again. Oh and when I get off the bog then ...BLOG surfing next. ;)