Sunday, August 26, 2012

Revising the Quote ;)

"Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?" ~ Phyllis Diller~

Ha ha! That's funny!

I think the next time I don't feel like doing a chore ...but want to assuage myself of guilt ...I will say, "Mr SeaSpray ...I know
Housework can't kill me, but why take a chance?" ;)

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Beach Day at the Jersey Shore :)

We all had a lot fun at the beach, Point Pleasant Beach this past Wednesday. The water was perfect ...so warm and sans jelly fish. Yay! It was an absolutely perfect beach weather day. A beautiful, clear, warm breezy sunny day. With low humidity on the upper beach and boardwalk.

We stayed as close to the water as we could without getting everything washed over by the waves and so the breezes and mild sea spray/sea mist feel so nice there. I wondered why in the world did I wait so long to go down when it is relatively close - only a couple of hours away. We hope to go back down next week - depending on how the hurricane now threatening Florida affects the coast line next week, as well as up here. Anyway, it is just too close and too much fun to not make day trips to the beach areas more frequently and we plan to do just that.

I also prefer swimming at beaches away from the boardwalks, but at least Point Pleasant is more family oriented. Actually, I had just said that when we left our car and this couple was walking past us - in a swearing shouting match, oblivious to their crass and disrespectful behavior. The irony didn't get past Devan who said, "Family oriented Mum mum?" We laughed, but what is wrong with people that they are so selfish and disrespectful regarding the people around them?

The beach wasn't at all crowded with swimmers - which was very nice.

I couldn't go all the way in the ocean because Point Pleasant has a deep drop right by the water's edge - where waves break and while I could go in ... and o-h-h-h-h how I WANTED to ...with both knees hurting as they do ...I think it would be really hard to get back out. The last time I was at the beach in 2005, I only had one knee bothering me when we stayed in Manasquan. There is also a drop there but, not as bad as in Pt Pleasant. Adding to the problem ..or maybe the problem is that the sand/stones at the drop is very soft, you sink in it and really would be hard on knees when getting out. So ...I lived vicariously through Debbie and Devan. But, I still got SOAKED when the waves crashed and came rushing up - ha ha! A couple of times I was too close with my camera and got all crazy trying to remain standing and save the camera when the water rushed up and back. Comic relief for on lookers ....I am sure. :)

And after the second time - I decided it was better to leave the camera on the beach chair.

(I'd love to have some recommendations for NJ public beaches that have flatter ocean sand to walk into the water on ...without the large drops. And where parking is reasonably close.)

Gosh I just LOVE the ocean! So much fun and so beautiful. :)

Devan collected shells for me for my gardens. :)

We had fun feeding the sea gulls. They're so cool the way they catch most food tossed up into the air. It seems they zoom in with the precision of a fighter pilot. Of course, they've had a lot of practice. Then there must've been some kind of food alert across the sea gull radar system drawing in a SQUADRON of them all at once and the next thing I knew I was caught in some kind of sea gull feeding frenzy that reminded me of a scene in Alfred Hitchcock's movie, "The Birds". I let some food go too close to me and I felt rushed by the birds ...coming in at me from all directions - w-a-y-y-y too close for comfort en masse like that and I had little outbursts of screams ...just little ones, but audible, pulling in to myself each time they zoomed in...which did not go unnoticed by the women standing in the water in front and family on the side who were smiling. Another sitcom moment. :) Later when Devan and I were feeding the sea gulls, two other little kids came over by us and so I gave them little gold fish crackers to feed them too. I also had this large colorful straw hat on. Which by the way, I was most grateful to have on when said sea gulls were flying over as they were. Fortunately there wasn't any collateral damage. :)

I wish I could've gotten a picture of the feeding frenzy, but I was in defense mode. That'll teach me not to throw up clusters of Goldfish everywhere. :)

I also had the thought that these little kids are going to have a childhood memory, remembering feeding these birds with the lady with the big colorful beach hat. Bird lady! Ha ha!

I remember when the boys used to like to chase the sea gulls by the shore line. We've always enjoyed feeding them.

We finished up our fun day with a bite to eat by one of the snack bars. It was just such a perfect day and evening. I tried to get a picture of the sail boat on the water from where we were eating, but it's just a little camera and so I can't zoom very much. It was so pretty with the setting sunlight turning the white masts a pale pink, contrasting the blue water. The photo doesn't do it justice.

We finished with a little custard ice cream and as we were leaving I commented on how the sky reminded me of pink and blue cotton candy. It was hard to leave the ocean and her balmy sea breezes behind. Even when I was a little girl ...it was always hard for me to leave the ocean ... even though I knew I'd be back the next day.

And it was heartbreaking for me when I had to leave for good and move up here when I was 14. But, for a long time now, I've decided that I much prefer living in the mountains and once I finally get back home ...I will say ...once home ...there's no place like home. :)

I'd never refuse a beach house though. :)

































Yes ...in pictures below ...those are real palm trees on the Jersey shore. We were wondering how they did that. Because we get snow and lots of cold weather in the winter. The one picture reminds me of a picture I have of my father standing under a palm tree in Miami.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Warning - GROSS but Funny (since it wasn't you)





Saturday evening, did NOT go according to plan!

The plan changed due to a #10 on the gross-o-meter!


And this would be what I WISH I was wearing.

After dinner, I brought the little ones out to play. Myles and I were playing with a large ball, while Wrenna was playing on the Little Tike's play yard. Younger son had just gotten home from work and came out to join us.

The ball rolled in between the sheets I had hanging on the line and little 20 month old Myles went to get the ball. I could see him and the ball. What I did not see was that someone had hooked our dog up to her coated wire lead. And when we are outside, she always begins barking, announcing to us she is there and wants to come play with us. Some smell must've immediately gotten her attention when she came outside, because she was so quiet. She has an annoying trait of being a digger ...to CHINA, if she could when she picks up on a scent.

But, withing seconds of Myles going for the ball, she ran right over, caught him up in the lead and pulled him down! He cried and I scooped him up, began swaying him ...holding him close to comfort him. And was really mad at myself for not foreseeing that, even tho it was an accident. Her lead also should NOT have been that long because she should not be anywhere near the clothesline.

Also, I saw a doggy surprise right near where the baby fell, but ...thankfully was all intact. He stopped crying as soon as we walked over to his sister, and began playing as soon as I put him down. I sat down at the picnic table and had a little more of the potato salad in a cup I had brought out from dinner. But, as I was eating it ...I was smelling that doggy "surprise" and oh it was a surprise alright.

I asked Chris, who was playing with his niece and nephew ...

"WHY am I smelling POOP?"

"I don't know Mom."

I put the potato salad down and looked at my hands. The fingers on my left hand all had POOP on them!!!!

"EWW! There is DOG POOP on my FINGERS!!"

I was HORRIFIED! (Yes - I am aware there is war, disease and real tragedies to be horrified over - but if you have a hangnail ...that hangnail still hurts YOU and poop on fingers ...EWWW and when holding your food and EATING???? GROSSED OUT HORRIFIED I tell you!!!)

Son grinning now.

"EWWWWWW there is POOP on top of my left TOES!! HOW did THAT happen?!!!!

Son chuckling now.

"MOM! Myles has POOP on his shoe and his shirt."

"WHAT? Just GREAT!"

I walked over to see how much.

"EWWWWW ...oh NOOOOOO!!!!! GROSS ..he DID FALL in DOG POOP! I have to bring him in for a BATH! Just get his shoes off and "

"MOM! You have POOP a-l-l-l-l down the SIDE of you!"

I just SHRIEKED in utter dismay ...when I looked down on my left side and thick, softened poop was smeared right by my lower left rib cage, down my side, down onto my hip!

Son is now busting out laughing ...head tossed back and all.

I was NOT.

My voice was definitely escalated as I exclaimed, "THIS is just GROSS! DisGUSTing! We HAVE to get these clothes OFF! UGHHHH!"

"CHRIS! Get his shoes OFF! I have to get this OFF! UGHHHH! GROSS!!! I CAN"T BELIEVE this HAPPENED!!!"

Fortunately, it was only a little hot pink beach cover up dress that is strapless and is stretchy over the chest area and I could just shimmy right out of it where I left it on the grass. (I would've just thrown it out, but I like that it is as light as air - great for a really hot day. Then I got the shirt off Myles and asked son to please hose down the shoe, shirt and cover up.

He watched the kids so I could go in and wash off first.

I was still loudly complaining about this GROSS and ANNOYING debacle while carrying Myles into and through the house and getting him into the bathtub. Mr SeaSpray was on the living room couch watching TV. I KNOW he had to have heard every word I said, but he didn't utter a word or come over to help ...no doubt because he too was secretly laughing. I know it. Because usually, he'd come to help. Heck ...I would've been too ...if the poop wasn't smeared ALL OVER ME! Or he was grossed and figured I had it under control Anyway, it didn't matter at that point as I was a SeaSpray on a mission and attacked it with Gusto ...although still lamented for a bit until I began playing with Myles in the bathtub? His extreme cuteness settled me down. :)

Mission accomplished! :)

It occurs to me that our neighbor, whom I had just said a cheerful "Hi Joe!" to minutes earlier was nearby in his backyard when this all transpired and had to have heard/seen it all and had to be laughing too. And the neighbors on the other side of him would've had quite the amusing show if they were out on their porch and they usually are.

Now, I do appreciate the humor of it all and is why I am sharing with you. :)

Oh and those sheets on the line ...that I just love hanging outside to get that wonderfully fresh outdoor scent when we sleep? DOG POOP scent on the top sheet because it dragged down over said DOG POOP!

THIS will NEVER happen again.

To be continued....

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Make the choice...



Admittedly, I wrestle with that sometimes when it comes to blogging. I don't talk about problems so much. I am mindful of that. But, I find I write about them. And of course there are some things I'd never write down anywhere or discuss. Sometimes you see the posts and sometimes I keep them in drafts. I have felt blogging was cathartic at times, certainly appreciated the support when I needed it most, yet ... paradoxically, blogging/writing seems to reinforce what I don't want to think about. Although ...that being said ...I have also found my voice through blogging. And have worked through things. In my past, in real life ...often times I'd remain silent when I should not have been timid. Now I would not. Although, ever the peacemaker that I am ...I still believe you choose your battles and I don't have to prove I'm right about everything. Besides ...I already KNOW that! ;0 I'm kidding! or am I-I-I? I am! ? ;)

Anyway, I think the above comment about "make the choice" is true for a chronic complainer. But, I think if there are important issues that need too come out, to facilitate healing and gain a healthy perspective ...then one should talk with a trusted person. Because to cover up is akin to putting a Bandaid over an open wound, which then festers underneath. Healing can only take place when the wound is cleaned out. So ...there is a time and place ...to talk.

Okay, I'm going in the pool. Not even sure where this came from. I just LOVE the picture. :)

Friday, August 17, 2012

Feeling Sentimental...


Jonathan as an infant

47 minutes ago, our first born son became officially 32.

I wrote about him before, but I had gone through infertility testing (when I was 24), and was becoming concerned about being able to conceive a baby. And then along came Jonathan. :) His name means "Gift of the Lord" and he sure was. I believe all babies are, but we felt we had a miracle for many reasons. And then I almost miscarried him. My OBGYN said that after hemorrhaging so badly, I had a 50-50 chance that I was still pregnant. That was early December, 1979. I had to stay in bed for 3 weeks. That Christmas everyone came here and we only had cold cuts and simple food. The only gifts I bought were cook books that a friend a former neighbor was selling - one for every one. No one cared about our simple Christmas fare or gifts. Everyone was eagerly anticipating the birth of our first baby and praying this baby would be alright.

Then the following month - January, at my next exam ...my doctor said my uterus should be bigger and thought I had lost our baby. While it was a terrifying thought ...thankfully, I had an amazing friend and mentor in my friend Pat. She was a woman with tremendous faith in God, the power of prayer and His miracles. From the very beginning, she encouraged me not to lose faith and to believe I would not miscarry. Actually, I will backtrack a bit more.

The night the blood started gushing out of me, down my legs and onto the floor , when the bleeding first began ...I was so scared and shaken ...that I felt like my whole body had sunk right through the floor. I really felt like my body was moving down through the floor ...to about my hips. But, I got myself into bed, hardly moving, praying and waiting for Mr SeaSpray to get home.

The doctor told me to stay in bed and wanted to see me the next night ...Monday night.

Pat had called me that day, but I didn't answer any phone calls because we only had our phone in the kitchen at the time. The next day she ran into my husband and he told her what was going on.

Later in the day, there was a knock on our front door. The paper boy I figured. "I will pay him the next time." But, the knocking wouldn't let up. Finally... I couldn't take it and went to the door. It was Pat.

She immediately got me back into bed. She reminded me how I had gotten an answer to prayer. I was just prayed over to get pregnant about a month or so earlier and 5 and 3 days later I conceived. Okay ...only one conception there. :) I was prayed over to conceive on November 8th, 1979 at a Women's Aglow meeting in Newton, NJ. The man praying over me even prophesied over me and told me I would become pregnant soon and the baby would be a boy and that we would have another boy too. Then ... on November 10, 1979 I was prayed over at a healing service, in Chester, NJ and then I conceived on November 13th, 1979.

You don't forget when you've had a miracle answer to prayer. :)

So, here Pat was ...sitting next to me on the edge of our bed ..reminding me of our miracle and encouraging me in faith, to believe all is well. And to pray. And she prayed a powerful prayer over me. She was gifted that way. She also gave me some books to read, and some tapes to listen to. And then she got a large pot from the kitchen, filled it with warm water and helped me get washed and then dressed for my appointment. I was afraid to get out of bed because every time ..the blood gushed out.

But, when I had gotten to the doctor's office and undressed ...I saw that there wasn't even a spot of blood on my pad ...not a spot. I never bled again.

But now the doctor was telling me he thought I lost my baby. So, the next day, I had to go up to the hospital to do a urine pregnancy test. And then I had to wait until the next day for my results. But that night, my co-workers at the ski area were taking me out for a celebratory dinner. It was so sweet of them because they knew I wasn't going to come back to work. I still have the China tea cup and saucer with the word "Mother" on it, in my hutch. Now that I think of it ...even that gift was something to look at and use as a reminder that I WAS and WOULD BE a mother. :)

I learned that I was still pregnant the next day.

And that uterus that wasn't as big as it should've been in January, certainly made up for it in August. :)

On August 17, 1980 ...Jonathan weighed in at 10lbs, 10 oz, 23 '' long at 10:04 pm and 10 days late.

By the way ...the number 10 is the Biblical number for completion.

And then we were blessed with our 2nd son, Christopher - 8 years later, who also weighed in at 10lbs, 6 oz and 21". October baby. :)

Miracle complete! :)

And so now, Jonathan is 32 and he and his wife have blessed us with 3 grandchildren.

Looking at his son Myles is like looking at a little Jonathan.

God is good!

There's power in prayer.

He's always been such a terrific son and a wonderful blessing in our family. I love his eyes when they dance with laughter, his smile and his impish ways when having fun. We are so very proud of him for so many reasons.

Happy Birthday dear son ...dear Jonathan. We love you ...forever.



Jonathan - 5 yrs old

I said I was feeling sentimental. :)


Sunday, August 12, 2012

My Angel Girls ...and Sea Thoughts About ... :)

I need to go back #<span class=;
I am so there in spirit with them that I can almost feel my hair blowing back from the sea breezes coming off the water and feel the gentle Sea Spray falling on my face after large waves crash on the beach.

When I chose the name for my blog ...that is what I called sea spray. Actually ...it is the gentle sea mist that I love the feel of on my face. Mindful of the changing tides, I usually like to have everything as close to the water as possible. I cannot fathom how most people can sit up on the main part of the beach ...never mind the ones who sun bathe all the way at the back of the beach. UGH!

Why would anyone do that? It's way to hot! And if the ocean is the main attraction ...why not be as close to it as possible?

Anyway, I love how sea mist feels when it falls on me when I am near the waves. And I do love sea spray that splashes up with such force after a wave crashes against the sand and/or rocks.

We only live 2 hours away from where I grew up and usually go to the beach and yet I have not gone down to the ocean since we stayed there in summer, 2005. I cannot believe so much time has passed (seven years!) and I have not gone there even once. True a lot of things happened ...health issues, other people I was close to getting sick and dying and other concerns. Although ...while we can't take a vacation ...day trips are certainly doable.

I just got out of the mode.

So ...it is on my agenda before summer ends. :)

I would've loved to have brought Iris down last summer. That is where we met. I lived down there and they had a summer house across the street. We had the BEST summers! Life wasn't always easy for me ...even as a young child ...but those summers were near magical and still are in my mind's eye. Perhaps even more so as I think back on them. But ...this could all go into another post sometime.

I have a follow-up uro appointment tomorrow and am always more thoughtful prior to those. I deleted a lot of what I wrote.

Anyway ...I am still doing well and both happy and relieved about that. :)

Anyway ...I hear the pool calling me! ;)

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

3.5 lbs!



Anyway ...

speaking of food ...

last night ...

Mr SeaSpray ...

brought in a HUGE (as compared to the usual tomatoes) 3.5 lb tomato in from the garden.

HUGE being the operative word because said HUGE tomato enabled me to have a HUGE tomato sandwich. By Huge sandwich ...I mean that I sliced a very thick wedge off this sun warmed, perfectly ripened tomato to place on the bread, which was then complimented by Hellman's mayonnaise (because everyone knows it's not mayonnaise ...if it's not Hellman's ;) with sea salt and pepper. That is all I had or wanted for dinner - both filling and satisfying. I will be living on tomato sandwiches now. Finally - REAL tomatoes to enjoy!

This tomato sliced up could fill a large bowl for a tomato salad.

I should've taken a picture.

This 3.5 lb tomato was County Fair worthy.

Monday, August 6, 2012

Goodbye to Our Little Gray Lion :(

Mom's cat, Peachy ....is a beautiful solid grey cat. Well except for his little white goatee that has been expanding under his chin in recent years.

(I very much wanted to put up a Peachy picture, but the computer is in it's working hard mode ...for hours now ...and will not let me bring up any private pictures from a folder.)

Peachy is being put to sleep now. :(

Mr SeaSpray and son are there with him. I just could not this time. I've been crying intermittently since last night. It reopens Mom's dying all over again because he was her loving companion for 18 years. He is 21 ...going on 22 now.

Why does it always seem like pets look and act better just before they have to have this done???? Causes me to second guess.

But he has been vomiting more than the norm this week and yesterday I was continually cleaning out the cat box and observed blood swirled in his stool. Even though he keeps eating small meals throughout the day and night he has gotten thinner over the weekend. He moves exceptionally slow. Although at 21 ...he must have arthritis. But, he even seems to just lie down after only taking a few steps. Although this morning he was up on the window sill.

He has always been prone to vomiting since we had him and he has this weird ...although convenient trait. He cat yodels. It reminds me of yodeling ...with a big cat voice. So ...we hear him cat yodeling from anywhere in the house and that for over 3 years has been our cue to run and get a paper or something in front of him ...thus avoiding that cleanup. But, now even though he's been getting sick ...he no longer yodels before anymore. He also doesn't purr when held or scratched. I think he must be too weak or in pain.

I know it is more humane to let them go to sleep ...but it still hurts like heck and because he was mom's "baby", as she called him ...it hurts even more. I feel like I am betraying her. :(

But, we've given him a loving home for 3 years, 9 months and six days. We brought him home after we locked up Mom's apartment for the last time at 1 am ... on December 1st, 2008.

It is just so HARD to call the shots to say when an animal should die ...even though my head knows better ...mostly anyway ...my heart wrestles with that decision. I can't even fathom how some people can intentionally hurt animals or drop them off in the middle of nowhere ...discarding them like trash.

So ...before they brought him to the vet, I took him aside and even though he doesn't hear well, I thanked him for being such a good companion for mom and for being the sweet cat he is. And you guys will think I'm nuts ...ha! Like you don't already. ;), but I even played one of Mom's messages for him from when she sounded healthy and vibrant and said he would be seeing her soon. I don't know if pets are in heaven and people debate that, but I did pray that he would go to Mom's loving arms.

And of course I don't know what he heard or understood out of anything I said and realize that was probably more for me to say goodbye than his understanding ...although ...what if? ... what if our pets do understand more than we give them credit for?

He has always had such a loud cat voice ...so much so ...that when he took to howling around the house sometimes, people talking with me on the phone thought it was a baby or young child. No wonder my mom thought she heard a cat howling in the nursing home. That howl was probably deeply embedded into her mind. They lived together for 18 years. I've always felt like he was calling for her. Her neighbors in the building said he did that every night after she wasn't living there anymore.

I was very concerned about bringing him into our home because we had Bob, our German Shepherd at the time and he did not tolerate other animals at all. Except for our cat and even that was a love-hate relationship. Well ...Peachy ...the little gray LION-in-spirit ...would have none of that nonsense and immediately put Bob in his place before he even got out of the cat crate. Bob was afraid of PEACHY! Even if he wanted to go in another room ...he would wait until Peachy moved out of his path. And the same with our dog we have now, Faith. She'd cry and howl to get past him and Peachy stared her down ...almost as if he was saying ..."You want a piece of me ..c'mon." Even last night ...he defiantly blocked her while she pleaded to come into the bedroom where I have been spackling, etc.It seemed he chose to stand or sit there longer ...just to make his point about who ruled the roost in our house. He and our other cat, Sneakers got along well though.

Well ...the guys just came back in. The vet said he was dying and if not today ..next week ..two weeks ...his body was shutting down. They both stayed with him while he got the injection. J said he did it for my mother. That was sweet. I know it was hard on both of them. I just would've been sobbing. I was already crying twice on the phone while getting appointment info, etc. And I've been there before. Just didn't have it in me today.

Animals are like family and it really hurts when they suffer and when you have to let them go... and making that decision.

He was always such a sweet, affectionate cat. Very pretty too. I am going to miss his loud, almost haunting howl at night. And his affectionate kitty cuddles. I feel so weird about it all and again ...I know it is because he was Mom's cat. It's like saying goodbye to another part of her... all over again.

And closing the final chapter in her death process.

I HATE goodbyes.

I do hope he went to be right with her. I can just imagine the joy of their reunion.

Mom was outstanding with her love for her pets and all animals.

Friday, August 3, 2012

ED Nurse Retirement Dinner - Then Stopped by a Cop



Ha ha! WTF wine - one of the gifts for an ER nurse who was retiring. :)

And another nurse read a clever/funny poem that she had composed and framed that morning. It was about M's career working as an ER nurse and retirement. She read it out loud before giving it to her. One of the lines said something like, "Now you can answer your phone when it rings." Ha ha! :)

M is an excellent nurse and one of the nicest people I have ever met. In my 20 years working there, I never heard even one negative comment about her. Nary a one. :) That is a testimony to her character, work ethic and friendly personality. She will be missed for sure. She was also the longest working nurse in the local facility, but certainly looks younger than her years. And when I think of her, I think of her warm smile, upbeat personality and fabulous sense of humor ..among other things and it was a pleasure to have worked with her.

It was great getting together with my former coworkers. LOTS of laughter - of course with this group of people. :) And also some serious conversations when discussing all the cuts and changes to the hospital. Very sad. It is not at all how I knew the hospital. They even said, "SeaSpray ..you wouldn't like it there anymore. It's like a tomb."

(I actually wrote a lot more about working there and the current state of the hospital, but have put it into my drafts for another post.)

We also took a lot of pictures. I was sitting next to one of the private attendings ... a very gracious man. He is Chinese and speaks rapidly with a strong accent.

Dr X was the only doctor there with all us women. I know all the docs like this nurse and would've been there if they could have. But, on a summer, Saturday night - short notice, it isn't easy to get people together.

Anyway, I said:

Dr X, it's so nice of you to be here for M."

"I had to get away from the women in my house."


Oh? What women?


"My WIFE!"

Hahaha! With his accent and delivery - it was so funny. he was always so quiet and I had no idea he had a sense of humor! He was funny all night. Another table was singing in Greek. When they finished, he applauded when they did ...so then we all joined him. He then suggested we sing in Chinese. LOL!

After it was down to five of us, we moved in closer together and just hung out ..talking and laughing until we cried. :) And M opened her WTF wine to share with us. I didn't order any drinks with the meal since I was driving, but admittedly curiosity got the best of me and I had to know what WTF wine tasted like. Alcohol goes right to my head. I guess that's because I hardly drink. I'm really not sure why ...but I instantly feel the 2nd and third sips of any alcoholic drink. I also get flushed with wine. Again ...not sure why. All alcohol causes me to feel warm, but wine effects me even more. She was being quite generous as she poured it into my glass and I tried to stop her from filling it so high and so maybe it was only a third of a glass. I know most people easily would've drank a larger amount, but I was concerned about driving. And sure enough ...it went to my head. But, we stayed and talked for another 45 minutes or so and I felt fine by the time I left.

It was a warm night and so I opened the sunroof, all the windows and turned the music on. I was lost in happy thoughts about the evening with my former coworkers ...when I caught myself doing over 50 just as I saw the sign for 35 mph for people going into town. Whoaaaa! I instantly slowed down ...hoped no police around. No lights flashing ...all was well. I again became lost in thought. The only thing I remember from that point was rounding the corner at the traffic light. The next thing I remember is red and blue flashing lights behind me... which always puts the fear of GOD into me ...even when they aren't for me. But ...tonight ...I had just had WINE to drink. WTF? ...WINE! I've never been stopped after having any alcohol to drink - ever.

Anyway ...I hoped that when I pulled over ...he would be chasing down someone else ...Oh PLEASE OH PLEASE Oh PLEASE!

Nope!

He pulled over behind me.

I was admittedly really concerned ...SCARED actually because of the wine ...which really was not much at all. I mean ...I am always concerned if I am stopped which hasn't been for awhile now.

I'm one of those people looking over my shoulders if I remove PILLOW TAGS. But ...police cars always unnerve me... especially when I am stopped. Which hasn't been all that much ...but still.

The first thing I regretted was that I no longer had the hospital parking ID on my mirror or that I could no longer work in that I was leaving the hospital, working at the hospital ..work in emergency department, etc. I have found that I get a pass when police hear I worked in ED registration. I'd like to think it was my charming personality ;) ...but I'm pretty certain it was my affiliation with working at the hospital and more specifically with the emergency department because the police all come in at some point and we help them with whatever they need from us... and just the hospital - police connection. As a professional courtesy - they wave the ticket. That is my take on it anyway.

My mind was going lightening fast ...racing with what I could've done wrong. ? I really didn't know. Because ...I didn't see him chasing me as I rounded the corner at the light. Then again ...I was absorbed in thought... listening to music and enjoying the drive home. I didn't notice his flashing lights until a couple blocks past the light.

Anyway ...those spot lights are soooo BRIGHT! I would've put my sunglasses on ...except i didn't want him to know I was driving with them at night. "Oh no! Did he see me driving with sunglasses?" That was because it was SUNNY when I drove to the restaurant and didn't think about switching glasses. OOPS!

I turned the music off, got my insurance and registration cards out of the glove department. Then prayed it would go well.

Finally ...he came over to my passenger window, leaned in... shining his flash light into my face. (I hate that.)

Hi ... what did I do?

"You were doing 50 in a 35."

Ugh! I'm sorry. I saw the sign and thought I slowed down, but I must've picked it up again?

"They redid the road there and people don't realize they're speeding."

And my car has a really smooth ride.

"So, where were you coming from?"

Again remembering the wine and hoping it wouldn't be a concern. I didn't think it was, but what if I wasn't talking as normally as I thought I was? Initially, I didn't want to say where I had been ...because I didn't want to give him the idea that I may've had alcohol and I know I was probably being silly ...but I was concerned.

However ... acting as cool as a cucumber ..at that point ...I said, "Oh I just left a retirement dinner for an ER nurse at such and such restaurant."

"Are you a nurse?"

No, but I worked in ER registration with them for 20 years ...although I don't work there now.

"What hospital?"

Such and such hospital.

"Okay ...can I see your insurance and registration, please."

I handed it over to him.

"This insurance card is expired."

What? I thought the new card was in there! I actually PAID it 2 weeks early ...on line ..and I guess I forgot to put it in there. I'm sorry about that, but the car is insured. (I also know that they check that before they even get out of their car.)

"Can I see your license?"

Sure.

I grab my wallet, open it up ..and the license wasn't in it's usual place ...front and center right under the clear plastic for instant display and access.

N-O-W-W-W I was beginning to do an internal PANIC!!!

"I ALWAYS have my license with me and it is ALWAYS in this spot! I must've pulled it out for SOMETHING and not put it back! I know it's here ..just must be in my pocketbook SOMEWHERE?!

And N-O-W-W-W I was beginning to feel like I was doing an internal Barney Fife (that I hoped wasn't showing outwardly) ...like when he got all nervous and twitchy on "Mayberry RFD" when something was going wrong. I felt like time had stopped and it was torturous at this point and he is gonna throw the book at me! I couldn't believe this was happening ..speeding, expired insurance card AND NOW ...DRIVING WITHOUT A LICENSE?!!!! SERIOUSLY?!

Then in abject desperation, fear and embarrassment ...I repeated myself stating I know it is in here (At this point I was HOPING it was in there ...somewhere...Please God ...let it be here!), and looked through everything again- this time also emptying my wallet ...and lo and behold ...it was behind the last thing I removed! I had placed a paper with a number I had written down ...under the platic and over my license! I thought that had been behind my license.

"HERE it is!", I exclaimed as I eagerly handed it over to him.

He checked it, handed it back to me and then said, "I'm letting you go with a warning. Just watch your speed when you drive through there."

I will.

And then with a smile of MAJOR relief and appreciation, "THANK YOU Very MUCH! And I know exactly where my renewal insurance card is. I didn't even open the packet because I had paid it on line. I'll put it in the car as soon as I get home! Have a good night!"

As soon as I got home, I did just as I said I would and put the current insurance card in the glove compartment.

I also think I got the break because of a professional courtesy. And maybe a little because I was polite and didn't try to get out of anything. AND ...last but not least, God may have nudged him to give me a break... or THREE.

I was one fortunate SeaSpray that night and I do appreciate it.

Also ..this is not an excuse, but an observation. The car I drive now really does have an incredibly smooth ride ...so smooth that sometimes it feels like I'm just gliding across the road and when I become aware of it, I am mindful to check my speed.

Now ...one more thing happened earlier that day - just before I went to the dinner. I drove over to Bed, Bath and Beyond to buy a gift for the bridal shower I was going to the next morning. It was about a half hour away. I could not believe it when I realized right after I parked in front of the store, that I left my wallet home. My money was in that wallet and my LICENSE! Thankfully I was not stopped by a cop then! I had to drive back home and then back to the store and then to the dinner ...which is why I had sunglasses on. All that driving in the sun, I never even thought about night driving and needing to go home to get my regular glasses.

Anyway, by the time I got home for the night ...I really would've appreciated mellowing out with a glass of WTF wine. I'm just sayin. :)