Friday, March 8, 2013
Not What I Intended (Part of this will tie into next post)
Photo Credit -This picture is an optical illusion of a whale appearing to breathe fire out of it's blowhole, at sunset. It doesn't have anything to do with this post other than my reference to "DRAGON FIRE" farther down in this post. It's just prettier than using dragons. :)
So ...in my last post, I wrote about my dreading the PCP appointment I was going to HAVE to go to in a few hours. I don't recall ever not wanting to go to a doctor appointment more ...unless it was for a stent removal or for the dentist. (Well - except I wasn't afraid of having physical pain in the PCP visit - just other things) Okay ...maybe the orthopaedic doctor ...I dreaded going to him after I had walked around with an exacerbating painful torn meniscus for a YEAR. (I can be stubborn and obviously wrong) I was hobbling by the end of the year - from when I first tripped on toys and injured myself. I fell in November 1995 and didn't have the meniscal repair until November, 1996. I lived on 600 mg of I-Buprofen. By the fall of 96, my ER coworkers were telling me I should get it looked at. I gave in when one night, I had to elevate my leg on another chair while at my desk. And it wasn't any day at the beach chasing down ambulances in a busy ER or young children at home. Really when I think about that - I wasted so much quality time I could've had - living without pain because Orthodoc fixed me right up. I don't know what I imagined. Wait - yes I do. My neighbor had had some kind of knee surgery in which his knee was filleted open and he was out of commission for 8 weeks and then had complications. Of course ...I should have at least just gone to see what it was. And ...also ...I didn't want to go either.
I would be more afraid to have cervical biopsy without any kind of pain block ...ever again. There is that too. I really like my OBGYN - but he seemed to take on the appearance of Dr Mengele that night. I did write about that night in here. I don't feel like looking for it to link to, but suffice it to know that the pain was so intense that I pushed the speculum right back out. I think we were both sweating and stressed that night. And it did cause me not to call him back about a concern because I never want to endure that again either. Although - that resolved ..or I would have even though I would've been one recalcitrant SeaSpray once I got there ...with feet bracing against every door they had to pull me through until they got me into the exam room. I'm just saying.
I have a friend who has refused to go back for a follow up with a breast biopsy because the pain was so horrendous. Fortunately it was during the last decade and so if it had been cancer - I think it would've been apparent by now. They couldn't find the cyst and the radiologist kept probing. For the love of GOD, why aren't women given one pain medication for that procedure??? They just give a local which did not take care of deep down into her breast.
But I digress.
Hmmm ...regular readers ...do you see a pattern in my patient behavior here. Anyway - going in for same day surgery and having the torn meniscus repaired was such a good thing that I tell anyone contemplating it to go ahead and do it because they will leave better than when they walked in. That being said ...when I tore the same meniscus ...AGAIN ...7 years later when falling on my way out to the jetty in Manasquan ...I hurt a little and so I did put it off. Until I was helping with an event in which I had to stand the entire ....ENTIRE night and from that point on it was obvious I had to get checked. Which I did and had the surgery a couple of months later. But I put it off because of work considerations.
So ...why am I telling you all of this? Not sure. This is a post in itself. I have been in a place in my life in which I have needed to follow up on a few medical things and have gone in the opposite direction. But ...you know how that works ...with anything you procrastinate on and try to pretend it doesn't exist ...it haunts you and so you really just have this somewhat cloudy time in the sun with the supposed freedom you have when you ignore things. You almost always know what you should do - have to do.
Anyway ...this is not at all what I planned on writing. I have a miserable upper respiratory infection. Our son usually breezes through a cold, but last week the one that got him had him down for the count. of course life doesn't stop and so he bought himself Thera Flu, Mucinex and other cold remedies to keep going ..oh and cough medicine. SeaSpray - the germaphobe that she can be ...was doing her best to wipe down (using Clorox wipes) every handle she thought he'd be using, gave him his own tissue boxes and did Bruce Lee maneuvers to jump and duck out of the way of projectile sneezing and coughing. Okay so that last part is just her imagination gone a bit wild ...he covers his mouth - she just needed an excuse to leap on the counters and furniture. ;) Heck she even takes her robe, or paper towels to open the fridge, etc. She's also always had this rule that whoever has a cold has to carry around their own little plastic store bag and put their tissues in it vs leaving them where they can drop and land on things. And she keeps her hands away from her face. Is that overboard?
Okay ..I don't know why I went into 3rd person. I must've been distancing myself from my germaphobe ways. I'll just add, I usually wipe down the phone and computer and remotes, except he doesn't use those things. I never used to be like this until I began working at the hospital and saw how everything gets wiped down. And even then ...I never thought about the phones, until a coworker told me she always wipes down the phone at work ..even if people haven't been sick because so many people use them and you have it up close to your face.
I am always amazed at people who talk on the phone with their lower lip touching the receiver. I think we are all so much more informed today about preventing exposure to infections. But ...I am the only person I know in private life that take precautions at home. But ...geeeee ..getting sick just is not fun.
Another thing - when I think of all the colds, flu, strep, stomach viruses, etc., that patients came in with that I was exposed to for 20 years ...I find it interesting that I hardly caught anything while working. You would think that working in a hospital is like working in one big petri dish of infections and disease that you would always be susceptible to, but it doesn't work like that. I don't know why. Yet ...if the boys came home with something ...it often made the rounds through the family. Not always, but more often than not. I guess because you can't get away from it.
Now ...what I was really going to tell you is that I wrote a follow-up post to my medical appointment post, and was just getting to the more serious part that I still want to write. (Of course this SeaSpray has to vent with humor first :) And nothing horribly serious - I just mean that I will get serious about our discussion - between the PCP and me. But since I'm under the weather a bit ..with a sore throat that feels like DRAGON FIRE is burning it (although - I'm not opting to drool ad so I'm thinking it's not strep, although ....I DON'TWANTTOTALKEITHER), sniffly - but not all the horrible sneezing and stuffiness son had ...but rather it went right to my throat and chest ..so much junk and yet it breaks up and so I can breathe clearly for the most part. WHERE does it all come from anyway? Is there a mucus factory on overtime manufacturing all this junk in my chest? It feels heavy in my upper and a tiny bit in my lower chest and yet air goes in. Actually - it feels tighter toward the top of my chest and then breaks through to my lower lungs in a GLORIOUS way ...letting all that wonderful air be inhaled ...clearly ...deep down within. The difference in air passage is like my lower lungs are having epiphany moments of inhalation ...so profoundly ...clear. I am EXHAUSTED with a capital "E."
And so ...I don't know whatever possessed me to decided to clean our kitchen hutch today. Like spring clean kind of cleaning. It started with removing extra clutter that had accumulated. Then I took the other things off. Then I thoroughly dusted and windexed it all. Then I told Mr SeaSpray (also getting this URI), that I am just going to dust the dishes I display and will wash them in the spring ...but of course I washed every sniffle one and they are air drying as I type. I did take a tiny nap in between. I don't nap and so that tells you I'm spent with this stupid uri. Now I have to put it all back and plus I have been putting other things away too.
Oh ...wait ...I know why I took this on today. SNOW LIGHT! The house was so bright with all the snow light reflecting inside, the hutch just jumped out at me. That snow light was so bright, that I felt like I needed sunglasses in the house even though it was still cloudy and snowing. I do love Snow Light because I am a bright light person by day and then all cozy lighting at night.
Anyway ...I may watch movies all night, or blog or keep doing one more thing around the house until I can't anymore or all of the above. Mr SeaSpray already went to bed. Oh and yesterday I had the very busy wee ones over here all day and I decided that it is easier to go to work sick than it is to feel this way and take care of little ones all day. I had forgotten about that. But we had fun anyway. They are just so darn sweet and cute. :)
Our younger son's friend is home from the Coast Guard this weekend and so they and their buddies are all out camping tonight. BRRRR! I wonder how they got up on the mountain with the snow. ? I wish I had the stamina earlier in the day to make a big pot of chile for them to take. But, I'll make it tomorrow if they are still having a bonfire here tomorrow night.