Saturday, May 4, 2013

One Should ... :) And Some Other Thoughts



I'm thinking no one ever wants to get a call from the town police dispatcher... when nothing is wrong.

And no one wants a police officer coming to their door when nothing is wrong.  (I have my reasons... a sad one in my past.)

But ...I digress.

One should know that if 911 is pressed on a cell phone that police will come to their door.  Of  course one shouldn't have been answering a call on someone else's cell phone they are not familiar with... especially when the other person specifically instructed one not to answer that call.  And no matter how much one just wanted to end the probably wrong number calling ...one should've used restraint.

Also ...one really does not want to greet said police officer at the door when wearing a see through robe ...sans under garments ...no matter what said dispatcher ...a woman no less tells them to do.  But one can greet said police officer at the bow window and just lean forward covering upper portion of said see through robe.

But ...then one does NOT want to forget that they are wearing  a see through robe and in a moment of God knows what kind of inspiration ...bolt upward reaching up to open curtains wider.  DUH and OMG!

Furthermore ...one should always remove their makeup the night before ...no matter how late they get in and how tired they are.  Because it does not matter that one is diligent about this 99% of the time ...one should know that because of Murphy's law ...Murphy will make good use of that 1% lapse and one will be embarrassed the next morning when they are seen with raccoon black eyeliner smudged all underneath their eyes ...causing them to look like Uncle Fester on the Adam's family.

Also ...it is healthier for one's skin to have the makeup removed and face cleansed and moisturized for the night - just saying.

At this point ...the fact that one was still sporting BED HAIR hardly matters because after all if one already has the nekkid going on under the see through robe and the black eye circles ...who notices the hair? Right?

And for the LOVE of GOD ...someone please tell me that the police car pulled up in front of our fence did NOT have any kind or camera recording from the side view of the car.  That does NOT happen RIGHT???  Because ...one does live in this relatively small town.  The only thing one has going for them is that they are the poster Girl for before and after makeup pictures ...and so no one would know.

Also ...once one got over the initial reason for the call ...one should n-e-v-e-r prolong said conversation by moving on to another topic ...specifically why hasn't the person who allegedly murdered our neighbor 4 years ago gone to trial?   One should have at least remembered the see through robe, uncle Fester eyes and realized they were headed into the shower for a reason to wash up and become more presentable for the day.
********************************

Seriously ...if I hadn't been caught by surprise like a dear in the headlights with the police dispatcher on the phone and a police officer walking right up to the bow window ...I would've darted out of area to at least change robes, would have seen the black eye circles and washed accordingly.  I could've explained and asked him to wait.  Then he could've come in.  Although perhaps my doing that would have seemed suspicious because the officer actually said (after making sure there wasn't anything wrong ), "I just want to make sure you didn't kill your husband and chop him into pieces."

OMG - did I look that bad to have evoked that kind of joke???  Which was gross and I reacted accordingly, stating I won't even watch any violent documentaries dealing with murder ..or any TV shows  and I have to leave the room when Mr SeaSpray watches them.  He laughed ..but I wasn't laughing.  Maybe his comment is why I thought of the murder of a woman 4 years ago near by.  I had even asked Governor Christie about it just before he was elected ...but again ...I digress. (Another post sometime) The officer said it is coming up soon.  I hope so.

And I just HOPE I did not forget about the nekkid under the see through while I was talking.  I don't think I did.  After he left, I made a beeline for the shower and about died when I saw the Uncle Fester black smudged eyeliner eyes!  I'm still really embarrassed about it all, but do think it is hilarious that I was talking with him oblivious about smudged make up.  If I did ..he would've HAD to give me a minute ...you know ..to hide the body and all.  But it is rare for me to leave it on and so that is why it didn't occur to me.

And I'm thinking it is probably a good thing I wasn't in the shower missing that phone call or his visit to the door.  No one else was home.  I'd of screamed for sure if I walked out of bathroom and encountered a police officer in the house ..and would be even worse heard his voice if I was in the shower.  Would they do that? 


No comments: