Friday, August 30, 2013

Toilet Paper Post Inspired by Another Blogger :)

Toilet Paper Dress Contest 2nd Place Winner (2006)
 Photo Credit - Winner of 2010 toilet paper bridal dress

I haven't provided a link to other blogs in quite awhile, but I will list one in this post.  And some others to follow soon.

The first one is a post written by Throckmorton that just cracked me up and caused me to go on a quest for information on the product we use in this house.  Quite frankly ...I have found myself obsessing ever since.  Ha ha!

And who knew there was so much to post about toilet paper?  Even though I am adverse to bathroom humor ... I was on a ROLL ...I tell you!  (Yes - pun again intended. :)  Oh who am I kidding?  I've been writing about urine  on and off for 6 years and 9 months now.  Toilet paper writing isn't that far off topic.  ;)

Oh and just one word of caution.  If you are a reader who gets annoyed at conservative views - just skip over the paragraph in yellow.  I did not intend to be serious - but was on another ROLL when making my point.  I hate when I am enjoying a sitcom or movie and then the light feeling is ruined when he writers have interjected politics, especially when they annoy me.  So like I said - just skip over the yellow part.  :)

And finally ...for as absurd as this post is ...it is all true.  Does anyone else besides Throckmorton and me think of toilet paper at LENGTH like this?  ;)

And Thank You to Throckmorton for the inspiration.  :)

HERE is the link to his "Bathroom Oragami", post.  Ha ha!  :)
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And now my toilet paper post:


After reading what Throckmorton described - I just HAD to know the truth.  I had a feeling he was right and these sneaky marketing tactics had even infected the Scott Products Co.  Sadly ...my suspicions were confirmed.  I am jaded now ...because even Scott succumbed to the trend of decreasing size to be more cost effective for the company. 

The thing is ...I was having vague ...questioning thoughts ROLL through my mind (pun intended:), but I never let them land.  I always buy the super pack of 36 rolls at Costco, believing it was the most cost effective ..and I know it was ...for a long time.

But then ...fairly recently ...maybe during the last year or so ...I had the transient thought that the whole package looked smaller in some way. I thought it was shorter in length.  I did check the rolls, but they still said 1000 sheets"Heh ... ..still the same.", I decided.  That happened at least a few times.

Then more recently ...I thought, "We seem to be going through these rolls much faster.  Why is that?"

And that was that.  That thought never landed either.

But then ....

Throckmorton's post.

Sure enough!  The Scott roll is much shorter on the metal roll bar.  No WONDER it's been moving from side to side like that!  And ...it is no longer 2 ply but ONE ply!

You know ...they did it with the ice cream, the crackers and cans of food.  And they skimp on the quality of things too.

But for the love of God ...toilet paper too?!  Is NOTHING sacred anymore?!  ;)

You know ...sometimes denial runs so strong.  We see what we want to see.

Maybe it's because I grew up with Scott products.  And we've used them in this house most of the time.  Having septic systems ...we always chose to use the Scott TP because we figured they wouldn't clog a system like the thicker brands.  And as luxurious as the ultra soft brands feel ...I think we went through them super fast.  Of course that might very well be because we're a family used to using more Scott and you simply cannot pull the same amount off the roll of say ...Charmin.  Mr Charmin could put several kids through college AND buy that Jaguar on what we'd spend if we ever switched to his product after being indoctrinated by Scott- just saying.

And so this inquiring mind just had to know more and so I googled about the shrinking Scott toilet paper rolls.  Sure enough, Amazon was filled with complaints.  Some people were pretty angry too.

 Now ...I am angry about the thought of millions losing their relied upon quality insurance and pray we don't.  I am angry about so many important political scandals being ignored by the press and creating a news blackout, so that the majority of the population remains clueless, angry about cheating on election day, angry about people being called racist if they disagree with certain political views and I'm both angry and afraid of what seems to be racial violence increasing exponentially ...when it did not happen like this prior to this administration' s typical race rhetoric and stance on these issues - when they have the perfect pulpit to calm things down - they choose not to.

So a shrinking, thinner toilet paper roll isn't causing me to feel anger.

No ..it causes me to feel jaded, betrayed and foolish.

Jaded just because it seems so many companies are doing this and I am losing hope regarding the cost and quality of once trusted products.  Symbolic of our deteriorating economy.

Betrayed ...because it was Scott - a trusted household product for decades.  It never feels good to lose trust.

Foolish ..because just last week, in Costco I was happy I got an additional 4.00 off on the already cost effective Scott toilet paper package ...only to find out that as even Costco's price went from 19.99 to 22.99 over time - I still believed ...like one believes a fairytale  ...that this was still a great value. You know what they say ...fool me once shame on you ...fool me twice shame on me.

Jaded, betrayed and foolish ... because I fell for the 1000 sheets being advertised on each roll.  They aren't lying ...but it is intentionally misleading.

I had planned on going back down to save another 4.00 during this coupon cycle.  And I so I am going down first thing in the morning so this SeaSpray can get the shopping over with and relax the rest of the day in the sun and pool.  Closing it soon.  :( Anyway -  I hope since it is Labor day weekend Costco will have their usual Cheesecake company on the floor offering free tastes.  For me ...that is the ONLY way to ever indulge in cheesecake because they are tiny portions.  :).  A cheesecake BRUNCH.  :)  I usually like shopping at night to avoid samples - but dessert brunch sounds good to me:) 

(A-h-h-h-h ...best laid plans ...

 I ended up finishing a book last night.  I simply could not put it down even tho I needed toothpicks to hold my eyes open and now my eyes look like too pee holes in the snow.  Anyway ...so much for first thing in the morning Costco run.  If the sun WOULDJUSTCOMEOUTANDSTAYOUT ...I would go in the pool and shop later.  What a crazy weather ..non summer feeling summer!  For swimming anyway.  What to do?  What to do?  Ha!  If I go later than maybe they won't have any cheesecake left.  I really do not need cheesecake ..even in tiny portions.  Truth be told ...I wish I could give up sugar except for special occasions. )

 But (I almost typed BUTT  - HA HA!  :), I most importantly ...look forward to comparing the value of the Scott toilet paper to the Kirklandd toilet paper which ...for a large Kirkland package is still in the teens price range.  I am going to absolutely compare the measurements and the thickness when there later.  If no difference - I will stick with Scott.  If Kirkland is better than Scott can keep their coupon.   We've used Kirkland brand before ..but it left a bit of lint and so I still preferred the Scott brand. Although - I still believe Kirkland paper towels are the best on the market. That being said ...I have noticed Scott rolls disintegrating more easily and doing a bit of the same.  Neither as badly as the Charmins of the world ...but Scott was always better this way.  But now because they've gone down to single ply - it can't stay in tact as it had in the past ...for all those decades.

Why as a woman - and forgive me for being explicit - I was pretty confident that with using Scott tp tissue, I could have a Bajingoland exam without fear of residual paper product in the area.  Just saying.  Why ..with the other brands ...I bet for years ...doctors could discern what color bathroom a woman had by the color of the toilet paper left in those nether region areas ...or at the very least what color the bathroom was that she just used prior to coming to the office.  That of course is assuming  the doctor had the discerning mind of a detective - piecing it all together.  Not the paper ..the patient's bathroom decor.  For years ...I loved the Scott pink paper ...or green at Christmas.  I was disappointed they stopped selling toilet paper in colors.  Why Scott ...W-H-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y did you stop those pretty colors????

  But ...I digress.

Gee ...toilet paper must be more important to me than I realized because one night ..maybe a few years ago - not exactly sure ...I had a very clear dream of white Scott toilet paper.  And in this dream ...as plain as day ...i saw a bright white roll of new and improved Scott toilet paper.  the difference?  It was textured!  At that time they did not make toilet paper.  But guess what?  Shortly after that their new textured toilet paper was on the shelves.  The only difference from my dream is my dream created a different textured design - unlike any I've seen on any roll.  It was a good one.  Anyway ...it was an improvement.  They managed to add texture without making it too thick.  Weird - right?


Oh and since writing this post,  I have discovered:

1. There is an actual World Toilet paper blog.

2.  Duke is going to switch from one ply toilet paper to two ply.  (not sure when this was/is)

3.  I don't actually know if Scott only manufactures one ply now or if they also sell 2 ply rolls ..depending on the retailer.  I was finding info on both one and 2 ply by Scott.

4. That I could actually STILL write MORE on this topic!  :)

I will return to inform the inquiring minds reading this post ...no doubt waiting with baited breath ...to learn which product is the most cost effective.  Scott vs Kirkland?  Also ...I need to look at the measurements of the single Scott tp rolls being sold in Walmart.  It sort of looked larger, but I immediately dismissed it when I saw that they charge 99 cents for one roll and I concluded that indeed ..buying 36 rolls at Costco for either 18.99 was the better bargain.  But ...maybe not if it is a larger roll at Walmart.  Or maybe it is ...? 

To be continued ....

PS - just one more thing about toilet paper.  Years ago ...in our local Shoprite (grocery store), someone had been sticking little pieces of paper with a typed scripture verse on each one.  I had gotten a few and so did my friend Iris.  We actually appreciated it because they were uplifting.  But someone must've reported it because the person stopped doing it.  I did guess who it was and I think it was sweet and rather creative - although I can appreciate that some people would've taken offense ...I suppose.  It wasn't so PC back then though.  And those little secret scriptures,  remind me of Post Secret readers.  Some have sent in secrets stating that a message on paper randomly left in a book in a library or somewhere... saved their life or helped them in some other way.  Neat idea!

2 comments:

Scots little sister said...

OK, this is down and dirty TP talk. BE WARNED.
Now, in the interests of conservation and consumer surveying, on our weekly shop yesterday, we happened to need TP. We buy in bulk, so that means for us, we buy 12 rolls at once. The bargain this week was 12 rolls for £4.98 and was Andrex a well known brand with a cute puppy on the wrapper. We always buy white (no nasty chemicals from dye). With the dollar this morning at $1.55 to the £1.00 work it out - is that expensive? I suppose it also depends how many sheets off each roll you use. Does it absorb enough? Does it leave a lightening streak (careful there, I nearly wrote steak). In the olden days, my family could only afford a paper called "Izal"- this was low down and dirty stuf. Awful. It was like baking paper, siliconised on both sides. Well you can imagine what terrors it held for a poor uninitiated youngster who hadn't learned the secret that absorption was best if you either (a) surreptitiously took the sports pages from the newspaper into the toilet with you, or (b) in extremis, crumpled the "Izal"into as small a ball as possible then opened it up again therefore rendering the silicone-like surface less glosssy and more absorbant.
Anyway, moving on to present day, I spent a bit of time in the aisle watching TP sales (not too long,I didn't want to be detained by the police) and saw that most people bought automatically - nevermind the price. Interesting - we always look at the price and compare, think of the effect on ecology etc.(we have a septic tank that needs emptying so if we use high volume TP the septic tank will fill up quickly and thus need emptying sooner and will be bad for Britain's ecology)
I guess that we are (a) unusual (b) as obsessed with TP as you - is that possible? (c) disgustingly frank but then we are into ecology and these eco- warriors do tend to be rather frank about matters like this.

SeaSpray said...

Hahaha! My first laugh of the day. I was actually listening to Aaron Klein on line's podcasts from last night's show - serious stuff when I busted out laughing at your comments. The childhood tp does sound like a horror - egads!

Is that 4.98 equivalent to four dollars and 98 cents? If so it sounds like a good deal ..although would have to compare rolls. :)

I'm concerned about going to war, etc and can you believe I've fixated on TP? Ahhh ...escapism ..much needed. :)

We finally have some sun that just popped out and so I am racing to get my suit on, get out back before it disappears again! Ha ..competing with the sun - to see who wins. ;)