Sunday, October 20, 2013
A SeaSpray Riddle (Hint - Orthopaedic Doctor, Fish and a SeaSpray :) And a Hospital Faith Story :)
Okay ...so what is it that an orthopaedic doctor, a fish ...specifically ...the seasoned salmon kind of fish and a SeaSpray ...specifically a SeaSpray that smells of said fish ...specifically ...the seasoned salmon kind of fish ...what is it that they all have in common? (Possible hint: previous post :)
I caved and as soon as I got up today, I called the ortho service. You have no idea how resistant I was to doing this because I really did not want to go to the emergency department, but after the hellacious night of pain I had while trying to sleep and the pain was so bad in every comfortable position that I thought maybe in some crazy way ...I actually did break a bone and that was felt even through pain medication. (Thankfully I've never broken a bone before and God forbid that I ever do) It hurt so much that I actually invited (I know some of you won't understand) ...I actually invited JESUS to come stay with me and help me sleep. I just kept repeating it and ..it worked ..I fell asleep for a few hours.
Okay, I shall digress ...just a bit. Let me explain. Back in 2006, I had just finished a fictional book series and in the end...it was so clear how well Jesus loves and knows everything about us (I already knew that), but it was so moving ...or at least it spoke to me in a such a profound way ...it deepened my faith all the more. An epiphany moment of the soul. (Don't you just love it when passages in a book really speak to you ...as if they come alive just for you?) Also, back in June 2006 ...on the night that I was back in the ED, writhing in pain with 3 stuck kidney stones, vomiting and then also had gotten a MASSIVE Dilauded headache ...that book came back to me. The nurse had just given me a cold cloth for my head and turned the lights down low in my room, and I had a basin resting at my side in case I became ill again. I was so ill - unable to keep anything down, in #10 uro pain and then also a hideous migraine level headache that I was desperate for it to be over with... and wished I could just fall asleep. But then I remembered that book and so I quietly whispered at times, but mostly just repeated the invitation in my mind ...Jesus ..please come sit with me ...come sit on the stretcher ..please stay here with me. (I know that sounds crazy to some - but I still believe it to this day) I did doze a bit, but woke up ...feeling all those awful things again when they transported me upstairs and felt that way even in my room. And so after the nurse left after getting me settled in for what was left of the wee hours of the morning ...I invited Jesus back again in exactly the same way I had down in the ED. With the basin still at my side, I even patted the bed a couple of times while inviting him ...come sit here. The next thing I knew was that the nurse came in to wake me and she also said, "You were do for your pain medication, but you were sleeping so well that I didn't want to disturb you." And I got right up and was happily sitting up on the bed with my legs dangling over the side ...sans pain. I still had to go to the OR though ...to have another stent put back in for another 2 weeks. That was the first urologist. he had only put the fist stent in for 2 weeks and then just removed it the day before and that is when the remaining 3 tiny kidney stones got stuck in my ureter. I assume they were pieces he missed after breaking up the first big stone. Little did I know what I was in for 18 1/2 months later. C'est la vie.
So ...remembering that experience and feeling just as desperate last night, is why ...I again invited Jesus back to sit with me. Hey ...it is a comforting thought. Maybe try it sometime if you are ever in a difficult situation like this. It's a good thing he's omnipotent ...being so busy and all. :)
Unfortunately ..now that the pain med wore off, I could hardly get OUT of bed because of the pressure on my upper right side to do so. Coffee pot on. Call to doctor's service. Done!
Ahh ...now for the answer to the riddle - I'm getting there.
My doctor's partner called back almost immediately.
He said bones are hard to break and he doubted that would be it. He mentioned something about the bursa ...muscle ...tendons ...I forget exactly. He didn't know why the ONLY way I could sleep at all was to be on my back, elbow bent with my hand resting on my pillow and thought that should aggravate it more. He said something about ice in passing, but I was more focused on not going to the ED ...unless I should. Of course he couldn't tell me not to go, but we did conclude that I would be added into the office schedule sometime tomorrow. After thanking him again, I said I was glad he wouldn't have to go meet me at the hospital and hoped he could enjoy his on call day. He said they don't go in anyway and that they have some other ortho person go to the hospital. Or ... maybe they are already there. Not sure, but interesting.
After hanging up from the call, I proceeded to the fridge and upon opening the freezer, I thought ...
Ice? Uh oh ...we used all the ice. But there is that old bag of seasoned salmon patties. So I grabbed the bag of seasoned salmon patties, sat down and applied them (still in the bag) to my upper arm and shoulder. They worked especially well because as the bag warmed up ...the patties divided into two halves, thus wrapped nicely around my arm and shoulder. It worked so well I began thinking ...this could be a prototype for some kind of ice wrap invention ...sans the fish. And what if it could also provide heat? A SeaSpray can dream. :)
But after awhile, I began to smell this fishy smell. Then I realized there must be some tiny holes in the bag from getting knocked around in the freezer for the last 6 months ...or so and that as the bag warmed and the ice crystals on the old ...thawing salmon melted, the fish ODOR was transferring ON to me. Lovely.
Anyway ...after all that, I don't feel as though the ice helped ease my arm/shoulder pain. Conversely, the hot coffee that spilled on my shoulder yesterday actually felt better. Although Bengay didn't help at all either. I was too sore to stand in shower last night, but I HAVE to now because a. I still wreak of fish and b. because I have to be ready to get out the door ASAP in case the ortho office tells me to come in early. Although the ortho doc did say they would of course always fit me in, but it would be later in the day because they are so busy in the morning. BUT ...just in case ...I want to be ready to go and I will be there with bells on. Ugh ...I just had an awful thought. What if he moves my arm all around or the x-ray tech makes me lift it or positions it in a painful way? And another thought ...what if I have to get cortisone injections or med? That is supposed to be bad for our bodies and stays in the adrenals for a year and can wreak havoc with blood sugar and can suppress your immune system. Just saying. Of course I will do whatever ...and I do mean ...whatever I have to do to heal.
By the way ...the irony of my needing 2 knee replacements and now having some kind of crazy arm injury when I NEED two good arms to do rehab for knees does not escape me. So pain aside ...of course I WILL do whatever I have to do to heal. And if it is true things come in threes ...then this is the end of ortho issues because now I have my third. Two knees and an arm/shoulder. DONE!
One last thing ...I really better get into the shower now ...because our cat is beginning to creep me out. While licking his lips every so often and his tail a twitching ... he keeps STARING at me. ;)