Monday, March 30, 2015

Feeling Defeated and Miserable and So Weak


Infant Decongestant Remedies
 Photo Credit

Admittedly, I may wake up with blogger's remorse and delete this whiny post but for now ...I also feel discouraged ...concerned ...and if honest maybe a bit more than concerned. 

I know. 

So much for my positive words.

I've been praying a lot.


The good news is that the right kidney pain subsided for the most part by Thursday morning.  And the worst of the uti symptoms are better.  I stopped the pyridium but started it again. 

Since Friday though ...I've been having intermittent low back pain at about a 4 and it is really wearing on me.  And I'm not going to write a lot about this but I haven't felt right in the middle of my body since Friday night.  Everything ...like every organ or whatever is in there is feeling all out of sorts and it's scaring me.  There was only one other time this happened in my life and that was December, 2005.  Everything feels so sensitive that I don't even know how to describe it.  Pressure, bloat, sore.  No nausea tho.  And no fever.  That's good  No fever - no serious infection.

I want to go to the doctor but I can't leave the house with this dry cough part of the URI.  I am taking Benzonatate every 8 hours, drinking so much water, tea and honey, cough drop every 2 hours if I need it or can and run into the bathroom to turn the hot, steamy shower on and just just breathe.  I might have to in a second if I don't get on top of it.  I don't DARE be away from steam and hot liquids!  Frustrating with a capital "F!"

I had to turn the shower on FOUR times after going to bed last nite.  And several times all day.  I'm so drained and sleep when and where I can.  And drink hot liquid.  It is scary when you can't get air in.  I can't help but to think about people having to live like this and worse, on a daily basis.  My heart goes out to all those with serious chronic lung conditions.  Every easy ...clear breath is a gift that I know I've mostly taken for granted.  And my breathing is clear and the URI not as bad, but for the love of God ...does anyone on this planet know how to eradicate the dry cough???  It starts as a tickle.  I try to not react but if I cough more than once or even drink something cold or try to talk ...that's it, I begin the decent of no return.  You ...I have to mentally stay above the sensation and then sometimes I can get past it.  Mind over matter and all.

And what the heck causes this dry cough?

Anyway ...hopefully tomorrow will be a major turn-around-day. 

Well there is an upside to all this.

With all this reclining, etc., I don't have any knee pain.  ;)

Oh and it is all gonna be so wonderful just being able to feel good doing all kinds of things again.  :)


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