Friday, May 15, 2015

N-o-o-o-o-o ...NOT The "C" Word - Avoiding the "C" Word

Dog bracing himself above bath water to avoid having to get in
I know this feeling.  :)  Photo credit

Monday night, I finally got in to see my urologist after delaying for various reasons since this past November.  I've cancelled SIX appointments since then and that is not at all the norm for me.  Admittedly since March ...I have been afraid to go in because I thought he might use the "C" word.  But that was for yesterday's appointment.  The first five cancellations were due to illnesses or family emergencies. I wasn't overly concerned because it was to be a follow-up appointment for the renal scan I had had last year and I knew the test results were normal.

Anyway, back to that "C" word.  This past March I had a urinary tract infection with significant renal colic in my right kidney.  I endured really strong kidney spasm's (at worst up to about a 8 and 2/5 on the pain scale. (lq2m) I'm just messing with medical people with the 2/5. ;) that began in early evening and lasted into the wee hours of the morning until I fell asleep.  Luckily for me I had percocet left over and was able to take that to help with the pain.  I also packed a bag for the hospital ...just in case.  A SeaSpray's gotta be prepared.  :)  Fortunately the worst pain was gone by morning.  Given what my past urologic history has been (although resolved since March 2011), it is something to follow up on.  The following morning when said urologist called to check up on me from the night before, he mentioned the "C" word and I agreed ...but since then have been avoiding. The "C" word being cystoscopy ...although the other night, I think he said cystogram.  Whatever.  They're both "C" words.  Oh ...and he used the "R" word too - retrograde.

I'm not afraid of the procedure.  Although, I would be if I knew it was being done in the office.  But I feel a bit squirrely about it ...sort of ..well ..okay ..fine ..I do ...feel squirrelly about it  ...BECAUSE ...well because  ...I don't want to wake up to a stent in me.  Then I would be very concerned I had gone backwards from being healed.   And so if I don't do the test then I can't go backwards.  And I know that is flawed reasoning because if something is wrong you want to head it off before you are  at more risk and then playing catch up.  I do know better. 

In the past there were other UTIs, some with renal colic and some without and they went away with antibiotics, but then it turned out that I had that ureteral stricture.  But that was before I had ever been stented.  Well ...okay there was one time after being stented that the URI was the warning and that went into renal colic as well, but I also had the stricture.  Another time  - no UTI but just renal colic.  I did wrestle with this chronic condition.  BUT it all stopped after I finished up with the last stent ...a BIG stent that was in me for 11 weeks.  Thank God my urologist worked with me.  And now I have been stent free for FOUR years and 2 months.  It simply doesn't make sense that my ureter would close up again.  Right?

So using that logic, then I really should not be concerned about the "C" word.

My urologist did use the "C" word last night, but is having me repeat the mag III renal scan w/lasix first and earlier than I would normally have to.  Then he will decide after that.  I appreciate his encouraging me. And I am a person of faith and I need to be more trusting that everything really is just fine.  Actually I do.  I just have this part of me that does this for whatever reason.  And obviously ...now that I have finally gone in I will follow through with whatever I need to do.  Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do.  And so I will.

And there WILL be a good outcome.  :)

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