Saturday, June 3, 2017

That Mortifying Moment...

in which you stab the man in the pool store, in the crotch …with your sword.  *Sigh!*  

So what happened you ask?

This nice pool guy offered to bring the heavy chlorine containers to my car and did.  But then he walked back and asked if I’d like him to put them in the trunk for me.  I said, “Sure!” and tossed my keys to him.

It was the end of the day and I had been shopping awhile and so my knees were really hurting, thus making it more difficult to go down the stairs.  So I had my heavy purse hanging off my left shoulder, two 30 inch swords in my left hand, apparently going askew and was carrying a somewhat heavy, bulky bag in my right hand and with said right hand was also trying to hold on to the railing.  It was a challenge because of the pain.

I wasn’t even halfway down when he was already bounding back up the stairs and somehow one of my swords moved outward as I went down a step.  BULLS EYE!  It all happened so FAST.  Of course the point part of the sword is only made out of the same material as a pool noodle, but pretty sturdy and sizeable.  And it’s a good thing he backed his lower half out quickly because the sword definitely pushed inward.  And so even though I did get him, he wasn’t hurt.  Furthermore, that is NOT where I wanted to be looking, which only happened because of the darn sword!  He graciously flashed a big smile as I simultaneously blurted out a panicked, mortified, “I’m SORRY!  I felt my face instantly get hot and I’m guessing it went magenta. In my mind’s eye I was already away and at the car.  But the reality was that I still had to go down the rest of the stairs and past some other coworkers congregating at the bottom.  I hoped they didn’t see any of it. I’m normally friendly but I pretended they weren’t there and I only had eyes for the beeline I was making to my car.

I’ll bet he didn’t wake up in the morning thinking some woman would stab him in the crotch with a sword. I also didn’t wake up thinking I would stab some man in the crotch with a sword.  

Also, since he was smiling I am guessing the humor of the incident didn’t get past him and now I am writing about it because I’m laughing about it too.  But G-E-E-E-E-E WHIZ!

I can’t wait until we play with the swords. 

En garde!  :)

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